How should a member fulfill their potential?

[Gaze]

I help people to achieve their goals as my job and study personal development techniques in depth as a sort of obsession so if someone wants to be a bit more specific with what they want help with then I would be happy to help.

I can help with all kinds of things using NLP too.

I'm up for it. You can be completely objective. But i'm not sure what to ask . . . hmm

 

[Reon]

In what areas would you like to have feedback?

Um. Idunno. Everything? I guess I'd like to know how to form decent relationships with people, how to not withdraw like I consistently do, as well as how to adequately use whatever talents I might have (I guess, how do I stay motivated and such) Those are my problems areas as of know. I don't know if it's apparent on the forum or not so...lol.

 

[acd]

Advise me, oh wise ones.
Really.

 

[Ecton]

Ok, here is something I could use help with. I've been looking for a new job for a while now, but many of the university positions I have applied for are either too competitive for me to stand a chance, or they have been cut do to budget issues this year. I'm kinda stuck.

Anyway, I currently work at a tech company where the tech people are treated as the lowest of the low. The company started out ok, but has grown into a special kind of hell. Most of my colleagues were layed-off. But of those remaining, most have taken new jobs but are delaying giving notice. I went to management and told them that things were falling apart, and that they should think long and hard about how they treat tech employees in the future (I have been planning on resigning soon with or without a job). For example, they give responsibility with no authority and low compensation.

As a result.... they offered me more money and a promotion.

I really want to leave, but the promotion might be a good opportunity. But time and time again, this company has destroyed good opportunities and then blamed all of the failures on their tech teams. My intuition tells me I should quit anyway and head back east. My thoughts are telling me that this might be the title and product to help me move forward with my dream (which I have been assuming is dead.)

Any thoughts welcome.

 

[Poetic Justice]

I'm up for it. You can be completely objective. But i'm not sure what to ask . . . hmm

I'll let you have a think about it then.

Anyway, I currently work at a tech company where the tech people are treated as the lowest of the low. The company started out ok, but has grown into a special kind of hell. Most of my colleagues were layed-off. But of those remaining, most have taken new jobs but are delaying giving notice. I went to management and told them that things were falling apart, and that they should think long and hard about how they treat tech employees in the future (I have been planning on resigning soon with or without a job). For example, they give responsibility with no authority and low compensation.

As a result.... they offered me more money and a promotion.

I really want to leave, but the promotion might be a good opportunity. But time and time again, this company has destroyed good opportunities and then blamed all of the failures on their tech teams. My intuition tells me I should quit anyway and head back east. My thoughts are telling me that this might be the title and product to help me move forward with my dream (which I have been assuming is dead.)

Any thoughts welcome.

Please don't quit without getting another job first.

My thoughts on this are that you have a good opportunity if you can put up with a few difficult people. I have been in a similar position where everything was blamed on me. It was all down to one person who wanted a scapegoat. I stuck with it and I have been promoted twice since and am now in the best position I have ever been in.

There are people in every workplace who will rtry and manipulate you, lie to you and blame you for things you haven't done. It's called being on the bottom rung. Shit rolls down hill.

You have now been promoted though so they clearly value you. Having been promoted within an organisation is a good thing to have on your CV, but not if you leave straight away because it may look like you couldn't hack it and left because the new job was too hard.

Only you know how much of an emotional drain it is to be in your situation so I won't presume to tell you what you should do but from what you've said it sounds like you are already on track.

Things are looking up. You have more money which you could save up to pursue your dream.

You have gained the recognition you deserve by being promoted

After gaining some experience in your new role you can probably apply for better jobs than you could before.

9 times out of 10 a persons problem is how they are percieving the situation, not the situation itself. You may find it useful to assess whether or not you fall into this category.

I would very much like to hear what you decide to do so please keep us informed

BTW what is the dream you mentioned?

 

[anica]

How should a member fulfill their potenial?

I think the idea is to try with some one you know...or if you know some one has a specific problem...Thats where I went with Res...

If you want guidance...how about this:

How do I unleash my confidence potential?

Or how do I realize my writing potential?

Realizing your writing potential is mostly hard work. It comes from writing, writing and then writing some more. It means finding your own unique voice, which in turn comes with confidence.

Confidence comes from your belief in what you're doing, which you seem to have in spades already or you wouldn't be sending out all those query letters and struggling with synopses..

And I really need to take my own advice.

 

[the]

Advise me, oh wise ones.
Really.

start your own non for profit

 

[TinyBubbles]

I'll let you have a think about it then.




Please don't quit without getting another job first.

My thoughts on this are that you have a good opportunity if you can put up with a few difficult people. I have been in a similar position where everything was blamed on me. It was all down to one person who wanted a scapegoat. I stuck with it and I have been promoted twice since and am now in the best position I have ever been in.

There are people in every workplace who will rtry and manipulate you, lie to you and blame you for things you haven't done. It's called being on the bottom rung. Shit rolls down hill.

You have now been promoted though so they clearly value you. Having been promoted within an organisation is a good thing to have on your CV, but not if you leave straight away because it may look like you couldn't hack it and left because the new job was too hard.

Only you know how much of an emotional drain it is to be in your situation so I won't presume to tell you what you should do but from what you've said it sounds like you are already on track.

Things are looking up. You have more money which you could save up to pursue your dream.

You have gained the recognition you deserve by being promoted

After gaining some experience in your new role you can probably apply for better jobs than you could before.

9 times out of 10 a persons problem is how they are percieving the situation, not the situation itself. You may find it useful to assess whether or not you fall into this category.

I would very much like to hear what you decide to do so please keep us informed

BTW what is the dream you mentioned?

i concur, i know a person in a similar situation to yours, and he has stayed on. they've promoted him twice now and his job is very secure, and he's recognized as somewhat of an authority amongst his superiors so they don't scapegoat him anymore. he's in a better position than he was before. i wish you luck, whatever you do.

 

[anica]

How should a member fulfill their potenial?

I've hesitated to ask for advice here, but I need it. I've been writing fiction since I was eight years old and never had anything published. A good friend, who was also an editor in New York and whose opinion I valued, told me my biggest problem was confidence. It could be confidence or cowardice or perfectionism. One agent showed some interest in a novel-length manuscript I wrote, but when I sent her a synopsis and the first three chapters as asked, she shot it down pretty harshly. That was ten years ago and I haven't submitted anything since then. Ridiculous, I know, but there it is. I'm even scared about this new writers' group we're starting online. I know I'll feel terribly exposed.

 

[rawr]

Rememberwhenitrained: get a male looking avatar - I'm always confused.

such good advice..morgain might work on that for us. any other tipa?

 

[TinyBubbles]

I've hesitated to ask for advice here, but I need it. I've been writing fiction since I was eight years old and never had anything published. A good friend, who was also an editor in New York and whose opinion I valued, told me my biggest problem was confidence. It could be confidence or cowardice or perfectionism. One agent showed some interest in a novel-length manuscript I wrote, but when I sent her a synopsis and the first three chapters as asked, she shot it down pretty harshly. That was ten years ago and I haven't submitted anything since then. Ridiculous, I know, but there it is. I'm even scared about this new writers' group we're starting online. I know I'll feel terribly exposed.

a good way to break that fear of people judging your creative works is to do MANY projects at the same time, work a little bit on each one, so that when you submit one for review and it gets shot down, it won't hurt so bad because you'll know you have others still being prepared. you can use that feedback for your first novel to improve your other works, and therefore gain something constructive out of it even when it isn't recieved as well as you'd hoped.

so don't put all your eggs in one basket. don't throw yourself into ONE novel, make sure you've got others.

also, i know with art they say you shouldn't get to attached to it - you should be comfortable with throwing out a painting that you've been working on for 10 hours or whatever, if it's not good enough, so that you can continually improve. perhaps the same is true for writing - think about scrapping novels after they're finished (or short stories - maybe deleting an entire novel isn't a good idea!) if they're not up to standard, so you don't get too attached to them and don't associate your self worth and ability to improve with their quality. good luck anica

 

[anica]

How should a member fulfill their potenial?

a good way to break that fear of people judging your creative works is to do MANY projects at the same time, work a little bit on each one, so that when you submit one for review and it gets shot down, it won't hurt so bad because you'll know you have others still being prepared. you can use that feedback for your first novel to improve your other works, and therefore gain something constructive out of it even when it isn't recieved as well as you'd hoped.

so don't put all your eggs in one basket. don't throw yourself into ONE novel, make sure you've got others.

also, i know with art they say you shouldn't get to attached to it - you should be comfortable with throwing out a painting that you've been working on for 10 hours or whatever, if it's not good enough, so that you can continually improve. perhaps the same is true for writing - think about scrapping novels after they're finished (or short stories - maybe deleting an entire novel isn't a good idea!) if they're not up to standard, so you don't get too attached to them and don't associate your self worth and ability to improve with their quality. good luck anica

Great ideas, May, thank you, I have several manuscripts in my "inventory," as it were, since I didn't stop writing; I just stopped submitting.

 

[TinyBubbles]

Great ideas, May, thank you, I have several manuscripts in my "inventory," as it were, since I didn't stop writing; I just stopped submitting.

hmm well if the problem is just specifically not feeling confident enough to submit your writings then maybe try sharing them with a close friend or family member first? you could even try posting excerpts here (or actually maybe at the INTJ forum, since they won't sugarcoat anything for you). once you get a feel for how people like them, then you could submit them to a publisher. i think you should not be intimidated by what people think or say, since they are not judging you personally, only your work, and you can always get better, and besides there are TONS of aspiring writers and all have the same fears and hopes, you're all in the same boat. the other people in an online group are going to feel just as nervous about your criticisms of their writings as you might be of theirs of yours. take it as a kind of challenge, to see how much better you can get. maybe team up with another writer and compete, give each other feedback, write the same scene each and see how differently you each approach it. i think there's something like that on these forums? anyway, i hope it works out. the world needs to read what inspiring things you've written!

 

[anica]

How should a member fulfill their potenial?

Once again, some great ideas, May. Half of my law school study group read the manuscript I submitted so long ago and loved it. Several said they stayed up all night reading it because they couldn't put it down, so I think I had a fair amount of confidence going into the submission. What I didn't do was my homework on the agent. She specialized in mainstream literary work and this was a potboiler, not what she normally represented. It was a page turner and another agent might have jumped at it or at least taken it on.

I also think friends and family are biased by their feelings for the writer, so I've not used them again as a sounding board, except for a manuscript I'm currently writing specifically for my boyfriend because it pleases him; it's a gift of sorts. It's a genre I've never written before and I don't believe it's marketable, but he insists it's the best I've ever written and should be published (it's the problem with friends' and family's critiques again). I might try the writers' group here and see if it flies or look into the intj forum (do they have a writers' group?

 

[slant]

This applies for all who have posted on this thread.

What would I tell someone who is trying to be at their full potential? Well, first of all, I'll say that I don't believe there is one full potential for everyone to reach, it's not like a bar that is just waiting for you to hit it and then once you are there that's it. I think that, it is different for everyone, and the way that everyone gets to it is different.

Do the best that you can in any given situation; and, you know, the best you will be able to do will not always be the same as you did it before and it will not always match others' best they can do. We all fluctuate on levels, and we have to know, sometimes the best I can do isn't as good as the last best I could do. But it is still, the best that I could do.
I would say that paying attention to your emotional and physical, like bodily needs, is important.

I would say that self reflection, and paying attention to yourself, your thoughts and your actions and how they are effecting things, people and places is important as well.

But all of this that I have told you, it just general advice on how to live happier. It's not that, doing these things will make you live up to your full potential. It's just that, once you start doing these things, your perception will change and you will no longer be focused on the 'full' part of a potential, instead you will be focused on your ever-changing thoughts and being.

As a person you'll never stop growing or facing obstacles, and Thomas Edison is said to have tried to invent the lightbulb 1,000 times. He failed 9999 times; he only succeeded once, and that was his last try. So it's just, never try the same thing twice. If something doesn't work, it's kind of a stickler to keep trying to do the same thing that does not work over and over again. Keep trying new ways; mistakes are just another word we use for experience, so learn to make them and grow from them.

 

[Poetic Justice]

Thomas Edison is said to have tried to invent the lightbulb 1,000 times. He failed 9999 times; he only succeeded once, and that was his last try. .

He famously said "I have never failed to invent the light bulb. I have successfully found 9999 ways to not build a light bulb"

There is no failure, only feedback.

I think this applies especially to your writing Anica. Just because one person doesn't like it doesn't mean it isn't good. Some of the most popular books in the world were turned away without a second glance by numerous publishers.

 

[That Girl]

Morgain
Stop second guessing yourself. That boy will like you or he doesn't know what's good for him. You are a wonderful person full of talent and wisdom. It is important that you realize this and take it into consideration. I know everyone has doubts but you seem to be really nervous when you should be proud and confident in how wonderful you are.

 

[Morgain]

Morgain
Stop second guessing yourself. That boy will like you or he doesn't know what's good for him. You are a wonderful person full of talent and wisdom. It is important that you realize this and take it into consideration. I know everyone has doubts but you seem to be really nervous when you should be proud and confident in how wonderful you are.

that is so sweet!!!

You are right I should stop second guessing myself. I always try to see myself throught the eyes of other people so I can notice the faults they see in me and do something about it. It is my natural way to try to fulfill my full potential. But like you say, it doesn't make me see my talents. But if I don't do this and concider myself a wonderful person, I'm affraid that I blind myself and that I could be living my live in an illusion, that I have an image of myself that is not true.

Maybe living in a gentle illusion is not that bad at all.

 

[testing]

Anyone got any ideas for me? I am possibly in the midst of a big change at the moment and very nervous about it.

 

[Gaze]

Anyone got any ideas for me? I am possibly in the midst of a big change at the moment and very nervous about it.

What kind of change is it without giving too much away?