INFJ Females: How do you show interest

Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby

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I know this thread has been done before, but a) I can't find it and b) I want some fresh responses.
As an INFJ male I show interest in a gal by making her dinner, inviting her to hang with me and my friends, an occasional random text, and basically trying to surprise her and make her happy.

I'm currently dealing with a girl who is definitely INFx (not sure if J or P). We are definitely friends, but I'm not sure if she wants more or not. She has invited me to her place for dinner parties with her friends, and we recently went to go see Harry Potter together. We get along pretty well and I genuinely enjoy her company so I don't want to scare her away by telling her how I feel about her. So how would you show a guy that you're interested in them? Another question with that, how would you react if a guy you were friends with suddenly opened up and said he was interested in you? '


halp.
 
they don't, generally. but every person is different; i have seen rather upfront infjs but they are rare. iz very hard to differentiate platonic friendliness from romantic interest cuz infj females r shy and scared of rejection, and they are not gushy like infps (if an infp likes you, they're going to show it without even knowing, or at least not do a very good job concealing). INFJs can be pretty friendly if they're in the mood (if this behavior falls within the range of behavior of a particular infj, like i said each one is different) whether they're into you or not, or they could avoid the fuck out of you and get super shy if they like you, but they also do that if they don't. heh. that's the weirdest thing with infjs, some of them have a "friendly mode" and they can really surprise you with the range of what they'll do. i've found it really hard to lock down a lot of definitive behavior patterns in the INFJ (except for a few), because INFJs can really surprise you.

ur just gonna have to get pretty aggressive. And I mean "pretty aggressive" likely by YOUR standards (not an ESTP's standards!!! more like an ESTP's "normal"), cuz I see ur a declared INFJ as well.
 
My advice is to take it easy and enjoy the moment. Love is always a risk, it will either blossom or wilt. This has nothing to do with being an INFJ. I believe love interest depends on the chemistry between the two parties.

Hypothetically, let's say you realize she is not interested in you. Would you be able to "turn off" your romantic liking of her and remain strictly platonic? If you don't think you could, you may as well tell her because if you ruin the friendship you will at least be able to move on........ or the opposite. :)
 
Bill Cosby said:
So how would you show a guy that you're interested in them? Another question with that, how would you react if a guy you were friends with suddenly opened up and said he was interested in you?

halp.
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Interesting topic. Hmm, to be honest I don't know... I think girls would give you hints, but often they aren't really obvious. I would agree with [MENTION=1798]Princess Anastasia[/MENTION], though. You will have to put more effort to show it.^^

How long have you guys been friends? And did you go see Harry Potter just you two?

Sorry for the third degree, just trying to figure some things out.:m129:
 
By going out of my way to ignore them.
I'm being serious.
 
They ignore you and try to push their noses further into a book while thinking of all the reasons they shouldn't show interest while simultaneously wishing they could get past such pointless mating habits and find the love of their dreams.
 
mochi said:
Interesting topic. Hmm, to be honest I don't know... I think girls would give you hints, but often they aren't really obvious. I would agree with @Princess Anastasia , though. You will have to put more effort to show it.^^

How long have you guys been friends? And did you go see Harry Potter just you two?

Sorry for the third degree, just trying to figure some things out.:m129:
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We have been friends for like 2 years, we used to work together but we only recently started having dinner and stuff together (started like 2 months ago).
Yeah it was just us two at the movie.

Another reason why I think she's interested in me is because sometimes as an INFJ, I get really sarcastic and say stuff I don't mean to people I like, and she does this to me sometimes, then she'll text me later and apologize for it and ask how she can make up to me??!?

She did that when I asked to go see Harry Potter with me, she said "I don't want to go anywhere with you jerk". (we had been arguing back and forth kind of playfully insulting each other right before I asked her)

Then she apologized and I asked her again and she said 'i would love to'. But she shows no physical signs of interest. When I get close to her she just stands there, I mean she doesn't try to shrink away from me but she doesn't lean towards me either, Idk i'm just kind of ranting right now sorry, but this is just a confusing situation I guess.
 
Bill Cosby said:
We have been friends for like 2 years, we used to work together but we only recently started having dinner and stuff together (started like 2 months ago).
Yeah it was just us two at the movie.

Another reason why I think she's interested in me is because sometimes as an INFJ, I get really sarcastic and say stuff I don't mean to people I like, and she does this to me sometimes, then she'll text me later and apologize for it and ask how she can make up to me??!?

She did that when I asked to go see Harry Potter with me, she said "I don't want to go anywhere with you jerk". (we had been arguing back and forth kind of playfully insulting each other right before I asked her)

Then she apologized and I asked her again and she said 'i would love to'. But she shows no physical signs of interest. When I get close to her she just stands there, I mean she doesn't try to shrink away from me but she doesn't lean towards me either, Idk i'm just kind of ranting right now sorry, but this is just a confusing situation I guess.
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Since it's been 2 years then, I think it wouldn't be weird to confess your feelings for her. :) I think she is at least interested, since you guys do things exclusively. Regarding the physical touch thing, maybe it's because she's unsure of your intentions as well. You should go for it!:m129:
 
OP, how old are the two of you?

Only reason I ask is b/c the older we get, the less tendency we have to beat around the bush (so to speak) ... I think I speak for the majority.
 
Sriracha said:
OP, how old are the two of you?

Only reason I ask is b/c the older we get, the less tendency we have to beat around the bush (so to speak) ... I think I speak for the majority.
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yeah
i already expressed and interest was rejected within a week of sriracha showing up here
already over and done with
 
Bill Cosby said:
lol, no. I know what the friendzone is like. I guess I mean we have known each other for 2 years, we RECENTLY started hanging out together.
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No. Really. You are in the Friend Zone. You have no chance with this girl romantically.

While this has a jackass delivery, the information here is painfully correct - http://www.laddertheory.com/

Women have two distinct paths of favor. One is for potential mates (Main Protectors) and the other is for 'Friends' (communal protectors). If it's been 2 years and you haven't made a move on this girl, and your relationship is this close, then you've managed to get to the top of her Friend ladder. Congratulations. She will now never consider you as a potential mate unless you move away (for long enough for her to forget you were on her Friend ladder) and basically become someone else (at which point she will reset her estimation of you).
 
Bill Cosby said:
I know this thread has been done before, but a) I can't find it and b) I want some fresh responses.
As an INFJ male I show interest in a gal by making her dinner, inviting her to hang with me and my friends, an occasional random text, and basically trying to surprise her and make her happy.

I'm currently dealing with a girl who is definitely INFx (not sure if J or P). We are definitely friends, but I'm not sure if she wants more or not. She has invited me to her place for dinner parties with her friends, and we recently went to go see Harry Potter together. We get along pretty well and I genuinely enjoy her company so I don't want to scare her away by telling her how I feel about her. So how would you show a guy that you're interested in them? Another question with that, how would you react if a guy you were friends with suddenly opened up and said he was interested in you? '


halp.
Click to expand...

As VH said, you're friend zoned. If you dont think you are, then man up and make a move and stop looking into every behavior and action and figure it out for good. Not wanting to scare her off by telling her how you feel? How absurd... thats most self defeatist thing I have ever heard in dating. You obviously lack the conviction of your belief that shes into you, otherwise you would already be making a real move. So obviously you dont know what the friend zone feels like.

My advice for you once you find out that she had friend zoned you officially, is to keep up as her friend and start making moves on her girlfriends and have her sing your praises at the parties she takes you to.
 
Billy said:
As VH said, you're friend zoned. If you dont think you are, then man up and make a move and stop looking into every behavior and action and figure it out for good. Not wanting to scare her off by telling her how you feel? How absurd... thats most self defeatist thing I have ever heard in dating. You obviously lack the conviction of your belief that shes into you, otherwise you would already be making a real move. So obviously you dont know what the friend zone feels like.

My advice for you once you find out that she had friend zoned you officially, is to keep up as her friend and start making moves on her girlfriends and have her sing your praises at the parties she takes you to.
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You've clearly never had a female friend.
I want to keep her as a friend, what is so absurd about that?
 
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