INFJ & INFP, are they compatible?

[Jonah Caan]

The love of my life and someone who (rationally) I call my soulmate was an INFP-T male whilst I'm an INFJ male.

We're no longer together but I cannot put into words how special the relationship was, even now as the rose coloured glasses have long but faded away.

We literally had no fights but towards the end, as we were unable to be together physically in life, I sensed some passive-aggressiveness from him. It wasn't his fault nor mine that we couldn't be together but I realised that he was unable to communicate his frustrations (which was his fault) and chose to deal with his emotions internally. This meant that he only took his own opinion into account so was prone to make drastically wrong decisions.

So apart from running away from conflict (which is a red flag, haha) it felt like a miracle.

 

[wolly.green]

The love of my life and someone who (rationally) I call my soulmate was an INFP-T male whilst I'm an INFJ male.

We're no longer together but I cannot put into words how special the relationship was, even now as the rose coloured glasses have long but faded away.

We literally had no fights but towards the end, as we were unable to be together physically in life, I sensed some passive-aggressiveness from him. It wasn't his fault nor mine that we couldn't be together but I realised that he was unable to communicate his frustrations (which was his fault) and chose to deal with his emotions internally. This meant that he only took his own opinion into account so was prone to make drastically wrong decisions.

So apart from running away from conflict (which is a red flag, haha) it felt like a miracle.

Well theoretically, INFPs are more selfish than INFJs. That may be why at the end, he couldn't take your perspective into consideration. Fi is a very selfish function.

That said, of course not all INFPs are selfish. Some can be selfless. So please don't bash me over the head with the obvious.

One last thing. INFJs are double deciders, so they can take other peoples perspectives into consideration much easier than a double observer like INFPs. However, INFJs are much more prone to believe conspiracies and freak out when something can't be explained.

 

[Jonah Caan]

Well theoretically, INFPs are more selfish than INFJs. That may be why at the end, he couldn't take your perspective into consideration. Fi is a very selfish function.

That said, of course not all INFPs are selfish. Some can be selfless. So please don't bash me over the head with the obvious.

One last thing. INFJs are double deciders, so they can take other peoples perspectives into consideration much easier than a double observer like INFPs. However, INFJs are much more prone to believe conspiracies and freak out when something can't be explained.

You're right; towards the end he was stuck in a Te grip.

"Te - extroverted Thinking

Te is the INFP's inferior function. This function may be their achilles heel, and is inherently not as strong as their other functions because their highest priority and focus is on Fi. Te is a very logic-oriented way of problem solving. It is the side of them that naturally looks to find a better solution to a problem, improve the efficiency of a process, or critique and refine what is already in place. INFPs generally prefer only to use Te only when necessary, rather than to make all of their decisions. Overuse of an inferior function can be very draining, and may be unhealthy when constantly given priority over other functions."

So I knew what he was going through. But then even though he was in a grip, it was till his fault for what he did right, not his inferior function???

 

[kfg(atj]

You're right; towards the end he was stuck in a Te grip.

"Te - extroverted Thinking

Te is the INFP's inferior function. This function may be their achilles heel, and is inherently not as strong as their other functions because their highest priority and focus is on Fi. Te is a very logic-oriented way of problem solving. It is the side of them that naturally looks to find a better solution to a problem, improve the efficiency of a process, or critique and refine what is already in place. INFPs generally prefer only to use Te only when necessary, rather than to make all of their decisions. Overuse of an inferior function can be very draining, and may be unhealthy when constantly given priority over other functions."

So I knew what he was going through. But then even though he was in a grip, it was till his fault for what he did right, not his inferior function???

I was with a very unhealthy INFP for a brief time and his Fi was so bad that he literally only considered himself and his perspective in the relationship. Didn't change that there was initially a magnetism. Didn't change that there was good emotional bonds...but after a very short time, I grew sick of the 80/20 in the relationship. I'm with an ENFP now, which I find is a better fit for me as an INFJ because the function stack is my mirror and we share a lot of the same values. But still, Fi is my least favorite function. It is so self centered but can be very nurturing if their feelings aren't hurt. And we both know how easy their feelings get hurt. I haven't experienced an XNFP in the grip. What was that like for the INFP?

 

[Jonah Caan]

I was with a very unhealthy INFP for a brief time and his Fi was so bad that he literally only considered himself and his perspective in the relationship. Didn't change that there was initially a magnetism. Didn't change that there was good emotional bonds...but after a very short time, I grew sick of the 80/20 in the relationship. I'm with an ENFP now, which I find is a better fit for me as an INFJ because the function stack is my mirror and we share a lot of the same values. But still, Fi is my least favorite function. It is so self centered but can be very nurturing if their feelings aren't hurt. And we both know how easy their feelings get hurt. I haven't experienced an XNFP in the grip. What was that like for the INFP?

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's something that I chose to accept when I was with him and it is only at the end of the relationship that I really got to see how selfish it made him.

As an INFJ I am still able to understand why he did the things he did but I feel like I have lost my trust in him because of his rash decision and disregard for my feelings.

During his grip, he was rational, calculating and apathetic. Whereas before he was the most empathetic person I've ever met, kind, nurturing and very giving. Such a shame that he chose to end something which was truly special like that. he regretted how he ended things later but what's the point after the trust has been lost.

 

[Pin]

No, INFPs like ISFPs are wild and feral.

They need discipline.