INFJ Strengths
- Thread starter Hyacinth
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QuickTwist
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I'm about halfway through this. I love this guy.
Hyacinth
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I like to just say that I’m a super computer because it’s easier to explain
and then I’ll sometimes ask if I could touch their cheek because it speeds up the process.
QuickTwist
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I like to just say that I’m a super computer because it’s easier to explain
LOL.
TBH, I do not feel like my mind is a supercomputer. I feel my inner world is far too irrational and wild to be so organized. Motivations seem to come out of nowhere, often connected to some other thing that has come up. I go on many rabbit trails, which always seem to come from some specific thing. I then introspect on this one thing, which leads to me sharing what I had been thinking about. Very irrational. Not in any way a kind of Te functioning. Wild and connecting the dots to eventually PRODUCE something with my Ti. I do have quite a bit of Ni-Ti looping in my psyche, which I think comes through even more online. So many rabbit trails... So much introspection...
Hyacinth
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Gosh I’m sorry, that would be hard. No mine definitely has an organizational way of pulling the data out of thin air and piecing it together. It’s only the socialization aspect that keeps me from being around a lot of people at once due to the draining effects it has on me and the need to speed up the process of figuring out their vibe that I struggle with the most but do you know how many ppl volunteer to hold their palm up to your palm or allow you to touch their cheek?
exactly zero. Of course they don’t. Naturally they look at you like your crazy because how many types outside of our own understand about energy transfer? None. They just think you need to be committed and locked up in a mental ward. Lol. Your brain would sound like it would be even harder to work with since it’s “going down rabbit holes”. Do you ever come back out of them or do you pretty much stay in a loop with no means of escaping it? And when that happens do you have a key to getting back out of it?
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QuickTwist
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LOL. I am no accountant.
My brain works exactly like this.
That's a realist PoV if I ever saw one... Not that you can't change... You can... Brain elasticity is a thing... I think you are just coming to grips with your weaknesses here.
I do come up for air. I have to... The external world exists, even though 80% of the time I am in my own little world. What is it that snaps me out of it? Don't rightly know. But I think it is much like Gandalf suddenly getting a sense of where to go in the Mines of Moria...
Hyacinth
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I cracked up when you said you’re no accountant because apparently neither am I.
and oh I see… I am intrigued about the part where he states that you’re “starting arguments out of thin air”? Is that even possible? Because most arguments and conversations come from somewhere so Is he trying to say that’s all that you contribute because surely your conversations with him are more than this and yet this is all he’s focusing on versus many of the usual conversations and topics that you both discuss?
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QuickTwist
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The context was my intelligence. Basically, I asked him how smart I am. He didn't compare me to others (which he totally could have done as an ISTJ). Instead, he gave me an internal view of myself and my intelligence, and the point was that I can come up with arguments without a prior focal point. Basically, something jumps out to me, and it has an effect on me. So, someone says/does something that I am disagreeable towards, and I will voice my concerns. This was when I was very unhealthy emotionally/mentally. That's what he is talking about when he said I was "sick." It's his way of saying that I can be passionate to a fault, but can argue with the best of them. I try to focus on other things now, not so much debating, but more work toward understanding for the sake of the "other." I've matured a lot. My brother really craves for things to stay the same and for people to stay the same throughout life, so the fact that he noticed a difference is a pretty big deal.
Hyacinth
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Well at least he picked up on it. Definitely means he cares and sounds like he is trying to sort out how to help you so he can get back to things being how they were. Sounds very much like he wants to understand you so he can have a relationship with you at least. That sounds hopeful in my eyes if he’s willing to hang on in the long haul until eventually everything you’ve been fighting inside of your head can be worked out.
QuickTwist
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He did not like me arguing about everything. He thought it was pointless, which just entrenched me wanting to debate more... old times... bad times... sad times... angry times...
Hyacinth
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Ah that is where my sister and I stay stuck. She wants to dismiss things and sweep things under the rug whereas I have apologized and wish to move forward she doesn’t get or understand that to move forward on my end, I need an apology back plus changed behavior or I never receive that conversation that I need back from her that things will ever get better so it’s telling me that things will just always stays the same and for me to be able to go forward with my relationships I need mutual respect or it simply does not work. Like I’m totally fine if that person doesn’t want or need that, it’s just for me personally I do. And in fact it is so important to me that I’ll simply cut that person out and move forward without them. Gone are the days where I have the relationships with those who consistently disrespect me without feeling bad about it. I’ve simply lost the time or patience for it. I’ve decided I didn’t want to live my next forty years chasing ppl who didn’t respect me and being a people pleaser since the last forty years of my life drained me. I have too much to offer the world then to be stuck in the same mindless loop with ppl who have done nothing to contribute positively towards my life. I’ve gotten way too sick and tired of ppl who drain me, are energy vampires, and using me for their own self interests to feel better about themselves by putting me down, sneering at me, and showing contempt for me merely by existing and for taking up space inside their shallow preoccupations with themselves which is how most of my interactions with people have gone. I’m too old for the childish antics that ppl connect with me for. Twenty years ago, yes, I was fine with it but now?? It’s just life is way too short. I’d rather spend the remainder of my short time I have left on earth with those who lift me up not tear me down. That shit gets old.
QuickTwist
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I'm not currently in this stage. I just think of Christ dying for me and all he gave up... His very life. He didn't have money, so He gave people what He did have, which is Himself. Now, I can't compare myself to Christ. I fall short every day. I am just reminded of the self-sacrificial love Christ demonstrated on the cross, saying, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." That's what true love is. It's a sacrifice. That's my model currently--even though I know I will never measure up.
Hyacinth
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That’s true enough but even Jesus stood up for himself during some points in the Bible like when people disrespected his Father’s house. He never spoke to his people telling them that they needed to be a doormat to others. Yes you should turn your cheek and be humble enough to see their flaws and recognize that the true fight is with themselves, however, forgiveness and apathy are not the same thing at all. It is perfectly fine to forgive and walk away. He’s not saying we have to put up with abuse nor is it an invitation of continuation of abuse. He’s only saying we need to love and forgive them, which I have, I forgive them from afar while also loving, forgiving, and respecting myself. True Christianity’s teaching is beautiful if done within the context of how it’s actually meant to be with ALL parties loving and respecting each other, not just one. Anytime you have one side putting their own needs over everyone else’s then it distorts and disrupts the whole system of the point of Christianity. Yes the Pharisees were around back then to show what can go wrong when only rules are followed and love for their fellow man is overlooked but that’s why he came down to show us that we had it all wrong.
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QuickTwist
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One of the key differences between us and Christ is that He knew Himself perfectly, and He knew God perfectly. Paul says, we look through a mirror only dimly, and says elsewhere that there are things too "high and lofty" for him to comprehend. This is a guy who was sent to the third heavens, so he had quite a degree of revelation. Yet he says some things he just doesn't understand. In fact, his revelation was so great that even when it came to his "thorn in the flesh," he had some revelation about it, which Job did not. And, now I am reminded of this meme, which I think is fitting for this situation...
Hyacinth
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That’s hilarious
I’ll have to use this one day for myself sending it to my friend, she’ll appreciate the artwork I’m sure
Hyacinth
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And my only real problem with Christianity is that if your wavelength on processing information is anything outside of the cultural norm then you will quite literally be spending your whole entire lifetime chasing your own tail trying to get people to love and validate you. They see themselves as superior to you just because of the fact that you live outside the cultural norm and if you don’t either force yourself to fit in or be a people pleaser giving them everything they ever want or need then you’ll spend your lifetime on the outside looking in thinking that you’re not good enough when truth is that God made you in his image and likeness because God doesn’t make junk but others will constantly make you feel like he does. It’s just no place to be mentally and oh sure they might distract themselves from the real issue saying it’s your political beliefs they disagree with, or that they think you drink, do drugs, are a narcissist yourself, think too highly of yourself, whatever they can say to themselves to justify how they treat you when in reality there was never anything wrong with you to begin with, you’re just an outcast because your brain is hardwired different so sure I CAN purposely change myself to fit in and wear a mask because hell I did it my whole entire life but it came at the expense of it taking a HUGE toll on my mental health and causing me to be an anxiety riddled mess trying to put on a performance daily to rise up to their levels of expectations and I’m unable and unwilling to do that anymore. I don’t want to hide who I am to please others or to fit into a mold that they’ve created for me and no I don’t think I’m better than them, I simply want the grace and the room in their hearts to be myself without all the fakeness involved or having to do a grand performance for approval. I’m not a puppet anymore, I’ve clipped my wings and I’ve soared out of that birdcage that they had me in five years ago. I can’t go back and I don’t want to go back. I’ve spend way too many nights crying into my pillow actually believing I was a terrible horrible person when the whole time they spent all their time talking shit about people and I was forced to have to listen to it meanwhile I’M the terrible person. I was actually doing everything they demanded of me at all times and it still never measured up or pleased them so no, I’m done with that life. It’s not for me is all. People can do what they want and if Christianity suits them then I’m totally fine with it, all of my friends are Christians and go to church, it’s just for me personally I’d rather go where I’m wanted not where I’m ostracized at for doing nothing more wrong than being myself. I’m not saying that they are terrible people either I just personally don’t want to be around it anymore. There’s no room for me there. They don’t want me there so why purposely go to a place where they turn their noses up at you when you show up? It’s no fun. It’s awful and the trouble is that INFJs are social chameleons who can fit in everywhere and nowhere all at once. Other types love us for what we can do and who we can transform ourselves to be but us in our raw unfiltered version if allowed to be who we truly are scares most people who either are turned off by our depth or our eventuality of not being able to transform anymore because of how draining it is or else or our inability to eventually not conform or need validation anymore or all the above so it leaves us with no real place to belong
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QuickTwist
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The Gospel is that we are all sinners, not just some of us.
Hyacinth
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I know this and you know this. Trouble is THEY don’t know this and if you ever go into a Catholic Church you get the people on the left. Now it’s likely that you go to a church where they are actually true Christians. But any INFJ who has gone into a Catholic community will tell you that Catholics has no room for INFJs there. I could be like my aunt who has simply switched church’s and she’s Presbyterian I think now and gave up Catholicism, if I were to go back that’s the path I would take but as of right now I’m good with where I am and what I’m doing
Hyacinth
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I’ve had Catholic friends who have left the church after their Catholic parents wouldn’t speak to them again because they both married black men, one who’s family won’t speak to them because they can’t control her anymore (same as in my circumstance) and one friend who’s family ostracized her because she wasn’t permitted to be friends with her transgender friend. It very much IS like the left picture hate to break the news to you but irl ppl are very much judgemental. We are ostracized because we love EVERYONE not only those who fit into the normal structure of society but every. Single. Person. We don’t base merits solely on what everyone else is doing. We go outside of that and see each person for who they are and what they offer. Not how well they blend into society and fit inside the compounds of how others choose to see things. We don’t have an inside the box mindset. We are able to meet each person where they are in life. If someone loves a person outside of their race we honestly don’t care. If someone is bisexual, we don’t care about that either, i can go on and on but because we are fine with it and don’t see things linear we are ostracized because they can’t control us or how we view things so we become irrelevant to them. They want followers who will follow blindly not those of us who question the hyprocracies that we see and call it out trying to allow churches to be more accepting of those that they deem “different” from them. Society only works when you can blend in, if you can’t they have no idea what to do with you.
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QuickTwist
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Do you want my honest opinion? It might sting, but if you want my comments on this, I have them. Otherwise, I can't really speak to Catholicism.