INFJ - Why ENTPs scare me.

[grt$5vb]

LMAO [MENTION=3667]Meer[/MENTION] and [MENTION=1848]Barnabas[/MENTION]!!!

 

[Faye]

I don't think you have accurately portrayed all ENTPs. Maybe some have those traits, but ENTPs in general do have goals and do have ethical sense and values. I know some can be really crazy, but not all are.

 

[paradanmellow]

I don't think you have accurately portrayed all ENTPs. Maybe some have those traits, but ENTPs in general do have goals and do have ethical sense and values. I know some can be really crazy, but not all are.

that's the thing, how can one be so "generalistic"? I see this thread being "taken over" by INTJs who are the opposite to ENTPs and thus prone to portray them in a less good light... except one who doesn't mind being objective, with examples from the real world, thank you! @Out To Lunch

as with the lack o'morals, please, I'm offended. that doesn't define a type in particular but someone who's too selfish

ENTP females, I think, have it worse and probably are really, really bad for INFJ males. INFJ males seem more at ease with being INFJ, more OK with being in touch with feelings and the rest. But ENTP females, I feel, that they ... try too hard. They've got this masculine-like personality rattling inside a female body that's much more emotional but muzzled by the ENTP rationality, which often leads to disconnects and a sense of alienation. Look at some ENTP forum postings by ENTP females and you'll know what I mean. (ENTP females are very, very good looking though.)

So ENTP male + INFJ female = PROFIT

but

ENTP female + INFJ male = LOSE

I also disagree with the zero sense of ethics accusation. We do have ethics, but they're based on what's practical and useful in the bigger scheme of things (although immature ENTPs will find a way to justify just about any transgression). So while I do behave ethically according to my own standards, it's not exactly on the same wavelength as conventional ethics.

I agree with the masculine part but disagree with the LOSE. because I think it's ideal for the feminine part of a Fe auxiliary
ENTP's sense of alienation and contrast between mind and heart is something the INFJ has too which is another strong point in a possible relationship (they help each other, the first clears the Ti part and the second has a deeper Fe)
I agree with the ethics bit, lol, who wants conventional ethics anyway? are we trying to appeal to SJs here??

PS: look at who's posts more exactly? :evilgrin:

 

[turquoise]

Someone wrote on one site that ENTP is a match for INFJs. So - on one side people who swim in difficult challenges, brains filled with ideas, but with zero sense of ethics.

This statement seems very short-sighted and naive.

I think ENTP - INFJ relationship can be good, but INFJ must be stable. I even think this can be general rule when it comes to T-F relations, the F part must have stable life to move along, even when it goes to perfect match. I read once about INTJ-ENFP relationship which broke after 7 years when ENFP boyfriend had a serious problem at work. He stated that they broke because he wasn't getting enough feedback back then. What are your thoughts regarding this matter?

IMO, you're taking typology waaay too seriously. There are many more factors to healthy human relationships than MBTI type - I would say it is a relatively minor one compared to the traits of the individuals involved, many or most of which will not be covered by their MBTI type. People are not simply defined by their type, which is why you will find healthy and unhealthy close relationships between people of all types (romantic or not).

See also confirmation bias, with regards to that particular example.

I think regardless of type, both people must be "stable" for it to work. If one side is "stable" and one side isn't, then the "stable" side will have to accept that they will do more of the work and have to decide they want an "unstable" relationship requiring them to work more.

This seems a good example of what I mean by the particular individuals and situations being more important than their types.

 

[Sriracha]

I cannot imagine what it is like to be married to my mother in law.

 

[GYX_Kid]

I would like to be an ENTP, and then find a bunch of COCAINE!

wahaha


ENTPs are my cartoon-character friends.

 

[Ifeelishouldthink]

As an INFJ I have yet to meet a male ENTP. I have met INFJ men and its so easy to get along with them! Perhaps our Ni just gets each other with out having to say anything. Although, that being said, I could work on verbalizing my ideals. I've known some women who are ENTP's and they seem to bounce off the walls! But we got along very well but I couldn't be around them all the time.

 

[Lerxst]

A stable ENTP can be a decent person, but that "P"ness drives a lot of the "J"s I know insane after a while. That can be overlooked or just accepted if that's their only problem; so what, they change their mind often or put things on hold all the time. Combine that with any of their other tendencies though, like being overly vocal or opinionated, always "logical" and doesn't like following procedures and now you get a person who can only be described as a narcissist.

Example: Taken from a real-life work meeting I once had.

"Well, I think we need to change this." - Extrovert
"I can do this, this and that to get them to do this (but won't write it out for anyone else to follow)." - Intuition
"This and this fixes that, now here's a pen and paper to go scribble something down that I'm going to bark at you." Thinking
"Here you go, you can handle this from here (walks away never to talk of it again)." Perception

Keep your mouth shut, walk away and just do it the right way after that, regardless. It's the only way I've ever been able to deal with an ENTP. Sure, they'll get pissed, but they'll only get more pissed if you outwardly challenge them in their mini-power trip. Better to make sure the job gets done right and complete before you go chasing them off on a tangent!

Better to just give them that illusion of power and go on clean-up duty when they're done, than challenge them outright. I've also never tried to argue about emotions or feelings with them, they have about the same emotional capacity as a brick wall and making that argument with them is the same as beating your head against that same wall! I've always had to play my cards right, hold on to details I've witnessed and stockpile facts that can be used against them. Confronting them is pointless; it never seems to solve anything and they just want to debate every minute detail you bring up. I've always had to either bypass them or go over their heads with that stockpile of crap that I'd collect against them.

 

[Norton]

A stable ENTP can be a decent person, but that "P"ness drives a lot of the "J"s I know insane after a while...

This is why INTPs and INFJs can be a good match. INTPs have ideas and can be spontaneous like ENTPs but, because they're introverts, INTPs don't continually broadcast their thoughts or jump around all over the place.

 

[whytiger]

This is why INTPs and INFJs can be a good match. INTPs have ideas and can be spontaneous like ENTPs but, because they're introverts, INTPs don't continually broadcast their thoughts or jump around all over the place.

I think ENTPs go better with ENFJs.

 

[whytiger]

Example: Taken from a real-life work meeting I once had.

"Well, I think we need to change this." - Extrovert
"I can do this, this and that to get them to do this (but won't write it out for anyone else to follow)." - Intuition
"This and this fixes that, now here's a pen and paper to go scribble something down that I'm going to bark at you." Thinking
"Here you go, you can handle this from here (walks away never to talk of it again)." Perception

Keep your mouth shut, walk away and just do it the right way after that, regardless. It's the only way I've ever been able to deal with an ENTP. Sure, they'll get pissed, but they'll only get more pissed if you outwardly challenge them in their mini-power trip. Better to make sure the job gets done right and complete before you go chasing them off on a tangent!

Better to just give them that illusion of power and go on clean-up duty when they're done, than challenge them outright. I've also never tried to argue about emotions or feelings with them, they have about the same emotional capacity as a brick wall and making that argument with them is the same as beating your head against that same wall! I've always had to play my cards right, hold on to details I've witnessed and stockpile facts that can be used against them. Confronting them is pointless; it never seems to solve anything and they just want to debate every minute detail you bring up. I've always had to either bypass them or go over their heads with that stockpile of crap that I'd collect against them.

I think you are misinterpreting the ENTP's behavior here or you are talking about a particular individual. There is no power-trip here. The ENTP is just very convinced of his vision. The need to control PEOPLE is very rare in ENTPs. The need to control the PROJECT is very strong.

 

[CindyLou]

I dated my ENTP for a year it was the worst and most traumatic relationship I've experienced, emotionally.

 

[Lerxst]

I think you are misinterpreting the ENTP's behavior here or you are talking about a particular individual. There is no power-trip here. The ENTP is just very convinced of his vision. The need to control PEOPLE is very rare in ENTPs. The need to control the PROJECT is very strong.

Means to an end, that's what the people are. If they need people for their "project" and you fall under one of those "resources" they need, prepare for a miserable experience!

 

[detectivepope]

I love them to pieces, my closest friends are ENTP. I love having people around me with some drive, I find it refreshing to not have to say sorry for being human.

 

[Norton]

I do have to admit that the ENTPs I've known have been enthusiastic, exciting, and sometimes, charismatic. Some of them, though, seemed to be a bit self-centered and not empathetic to others' needs and aspirations. I have a limited data set, though, so I'm don't want to generalize. ENTPs do best with an INTJ boss or, perhaps, an ENTJ, to maintain discipline, and keep them in line and focused, otherwise, they can be all over the map and never finish anything.

 

[Soulful]

I'm lightly envious of the diversity. I don't know any ENTPs. I can't think of any I've known, either, at least not from closer than afar.

 

[whytiger]

Means to an end, that's what the people are. If they need people for their "project" and you fall under one of those "resources" they need, prepare for a miserable experience!

There you go! Now you've got it! You're simply a cog in their grand mechanized vision. It's nothing personal.

 

[bionic]

I dated my ENTP for a year it was the worst and most traumatic relationship I've experienced, emotionally.

I hear ya. I dated mine for only 3 months though... I was lucky.

 

[Lerxst]

There you go! Now you've got it! You're simply a cog in their grand mechanized vision. It's nothing personal.

Except for being impersonal, which can be taken personally...

 

[namiasdf]

The fascination of INFJs with ENTPs is a fascination for the new and opposite. It has a limited lifespan, around the magnitude of the ENTP's attention span. INFJs have much more common ground with INTJs. We have the confidence of ENTPs, but in addition that we share the Ni and the stability of a goal-oriented life.

My bestfriend is an INTJ, which is probably why we've been friends for 15 years.

As for this thread ENTP's offer an aspect of life that an INFJ would never experience on their own. The spontaneous "fun" that they have can be exciting for an INFJ who wants to be lead. Perhaps seeing the person happy to spend time doing things they want to do with someone they love/like/enjoy being with will drive you to make this accommodation.

Perhaps the want to take care of them and make sure they're safe is also a point. I know that I take GREAT time/care to ensure the safety of my friends at concerts, even though we're all at similar level of substance abuse. The fear of losing them, or them getting hurt overrides my ability to just let go.