INFJ - Why ENTPs scare me.

Stormy1 said:
Sometimes it seems like fun to push someone as much as you can. Sometimes I get that Uh Oh moment when I've gone too far. It is almost like a game to see if you are good enough to find the spot or build the tension and then be able to do something that disarms it. I mean....yea....I know what you mean.....

Edit: I once pestered someone with comments that they didn't care about me or love me until they said they did then I told them not to get all mushy on me. I once told someone that the only thing saving them from being like a dude from Jersey Shore was the fact he was intelligent otherwise he would be a Situation Clone. Truthfully, I only interact this way with people I care about on some level.
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[MENTION=3096]Stormy1[/MENTION] Bad Stormy bad .... so bad.... call me.....
 
I recently saw a cop at the convenience store buying two redbulls. I normally say "oh my favorite, a man with a gun" when I see a cop, This time I said "oh god, a man with a gun with too much caffeine running through his system. That doesn't sound dangerous at all". Yea, he didn't really think I was too funny. I thought it was hilarious.
 
I, for one, really like ENTPs. I'm rather close with one, and we have a unique relationship that I don't share with anyone else. It's an almost teacher-student relationship, although it goes both ways.
 
Stormy1 said:
Sometimes it seems like fun to push someone as much as you can. Sometimes I get that Uh Oh moment when I've gone too far. It is almost like a game to see if you are good enough to find the spot or build the tension and then be able to do something that disarms it. I mean....yea....I know what you mean.....

Edit: I once pestered someone with comments that they didn't care about me or love me until they said they did then I told them not to get all mushy on me. I once told someone that the only thing saving them from being like a dude from Jersey Shore was the fact he was intelligent otherwise he would be a Situation Clone. Truthfully, I only interact this way with people I care about on some level.
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Wait, does this mean that I should take the fact that you poke fun at my Animal Rights history and claim my vegan diet is essentially going to ruin the world... as a compliment?! :frusty:
 
[MENTION=2890]Lerxst[/MENTION]

You should take it as a sign that I have paid enough attention to you and hear what you say. Not everyone does that.

I have a frightening amount of data that I am able to collect on people I interact with and find them interesting enough to pay attention to. I know, that sounded terrible but what can I say. I am only attracted to people who have at least a spark of life rather than a flatness to their personality. However, most people are engaging in some way.

I tend to like to poke fun at people who become really entreched in certain ideals just to see how they react. Besides, Vegans are evil and that too many veggies will kill you--except broccoli, I love broccoli.
 
Stormy1 said:
Sometimes it seems like fun to push someone as much as you can. Sometimes I get that Uh Oh moment when I've gone too far. It is almost like a game to see if you are good enough to find the spot or build the tension and then be able to do something that disarms it. I mean....yea....I know what you mean.....

Edit: I once pestered someone with comments that they didn't care about me or love me until they said they did then I told them not to get all mushy on me. I once told someone that the only thing saving them from being like a dude from Jersey Shore was the fact he was intelligent otherwise he would be a Situation Clone. Truthfully, I only interact this way with people I care about on some level.
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It's not only ENTPs who do that. I once had an ENFP friend who annoyed me to distraction. He knew I despise people who cheat so whenever we played video or board games, he would constantly cheat. My response to this made everyone think that I was incredibly uptight, which he found hilarious.

Come to think of it, my ENTP friend depends on me react in the same way so maybe I really am uptight.
 
After reading your post I have a grand question, witch can break the universe into million particles of subatomic energy.

WTF?

My best friend is an ENTP and so far the horror around him can not be detected. I know this guy since like 8 years and I have no problem with him.
 
jupiterswoon said:
ENTPs- I have never been attracted to them, and I don't think I ever will be. To me, there is one friend in particular who always just comes off as cowardly and insecure, and "lawyerish". Because they see so many possibilities, they never really make any headway, and are quick to change their arguments. That being said, I've only known one or two from personal experience. Every time I see him he changes whatever he thinks based on what I say. I also don't like being his "externalized conscious" as he has the habit of seeing me as such. Probably my most annoying friend, and the one that I'm likely to hangout with only out of obligation.

The thing that annoys me the most is that he lingers forever, talking about stuff which is never resolved- he just keeps talking about new things. I like to talk about something philosophical and then come up with a plan of action- he doesn't do that and it drives me crazy. I recently found out that ENTPs are all about INFJs- but it doesn't seem mutual to me, ENTPs are overwhelming, and just generally over-stimulation for me. It's like drinking five cups of coffee and instead of doing something, just sitting there while my hands shake. I find it really draining. At least if there was some task or goal tied to the amount of talk- I'd feel like I'd accomplished something.

But, to talk about the pro's to having this friend- he is one of a few friends that actually keeps growing, and who is constantly trying to improve himself. So conversations with him can be nice, but only up to a point. He can bring in interesting metaphor, and has had the ability to show different perspectives. He is supportive, and he does try to be an active friend in my life, but he is one of the friends I keep at a distance. Partially because he is always so quick to change his positions- so I don't want to trust him with private information, and also because he is a shameless flatterer. The irony, is that in some ways he knows more about me than many of my friends, because he can trick or manipulate the conversations in such a way that I won't even realize that I am revealing information until afterwards.

I would never date ENTPs though, I don't trust them, and there is something that just comes off as really phony. I can tell he is a genuine person, he is who he is- I just don't really fundamentally trust a person that doesn't really have any morals.

In this sense, I prefer INTJs- they have moral causes, they are not overwhelming, they are more calming and once you've been dating for awhile, there is this great sense of dedication and rootedness.

ENTPs seem flighty, and like they might have some Napoleon complexes- I feel like they are never satisfied and always looking for something better. Or they see so many possibilities, that they are never content with what they have.
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It's a shame that people can figure me out so well just by knowing people of my type.

  • Quick to change arguments, often retrospectively. (I don't do it on purpose.)
  • Never resolved/always new things. Yeah, too many possibilities and no desire to settle if something ever gets locked down or figured out. "Done, done, on to the next one."
  • Overstimulation. I can talk and talk and talk and talk. Unlike other ENTPs, I tend to know my limits with introverts. Other Es I do not give a damn to overstimulate or attempt to, but introverts I take it easy on. I understand their silence to be rather innocent, as opposed to intentional, so I can roll with that. Introverts are my most common company.
  • Changing positions. We know that we are not perfect and can be wrong. The more information that comes in, the more often we find ourselves wrong. It isn't a lack of resolution, it's a resolution towards finding ultimate truth. Problem is, there probably isn't absolute truth. My political views are a good example. 2004: Far-right Republican. 2005: Christian Communist. 2006: Center-right Republican (and agnostic-leaning atheist). 2007: Economically Conservative Democrat. 2008: Left-leaning Libertarian (I was going to vote for McCain until Sarah Palin stepped on board. I agreed with Obama's ideas but thought he was too inexperienced, I've been pleasantly surprised by him). 2009: Leftist Libertarian. 2010: Libertarian Socialist. 2011: Libertarian Socialist. 2012: Libertarian Socialist/Communist.[1]
  • Social manipulation. We do it often, and we do it well. Thing is, we don't usually realize it. I would have never known if someone at some point didn't stop talking to me because of social manipulation. Like, I would know I was setting people and things up, but it wasn't something to serious to me.[2] We do mean well, generally, but if we feel fucked with, we use social manipulation to fuck with those who we feel have fucked with us. It can be wrong, very wrong, and then it's terrible.
  • Phony/genuine. ENTPs have been referenced in much the same way as psychopaths, being social chameleons, much like INTPs. This is because we realize we can't always be ourselves to people. Aside from our regular personalities which vary by person, our natural existence, from my direct communication with other ENTPs, tends to be one of being intensely into ideas... when with others that share our ideas or can keep up with us, we really don't have much personality. We get so absorbed in ideas with other NTPs that we basically turn into computation machines. ENTPs like to bounce ideas off of people, and when with other NTPs or, occasionally NTJs, we can just shut off that socially amusing and entertaining side and just compute everything. We realize very well that our actions and personas must be fine-tuned to individuals and types in order to get the best and most honest responses from them. It's not phoniness so much as being acutely aware of what others might need. This is tougher with NFJs and NFPs. INFJs tend to understand me greatly and love me greatly also, because I'm open to them. Legitimately open. They can be annoyed by my lack of decisiveness and other strongly P characteristics, but never really to great extent, and I don't have to manipulate them for them to offer their help. I have manipulated INFJs before, but I feel dirty about it. INFPs love me greatly, but often without that deeper understanding. What I lack in morals, they make up for, and what they lack in logic, I make up for. We bond closer than INFJs and tend to be more romantically inclined because of this closer bonding. It takes a VERY open INFP or a very acutely aware ENTP to make ENTP-INFP relations work out well. My first girlfriend was an INFP, and we ended after three months because of communication problems. Her inability to tell me what she was feeling, plus my inability to explain my emotions. My next girlfriend, also an INFP, we had a generally good relationship. In retrospect, I cared for her a lot more than I knew, but really, we should have just been best friends or friends with benefits. There was a lot of communication, but I was going through some dark times, and I lied to her a lot. I regret this intensely. The latest person I've been talking to is also INFP. We have been talking a couple months, moving very slowly. I feel kind of bad always keeping my eyes out for other opportunities, but I'm open about opportunities. We are more polyamorous and open people this time around than with previous lovers and potential lovers. The idea that I would seek out a boyfriend also or go on sex dates with men thrilled her in a kinky kind of way, as if to say it would make her lust after me stronger. We also discuss going after girls together. (She is a lesbian.) (p.s. this was a lot longer than I expected it to be.)
  • Flighty/Napoleon Complex. We are flighty. We are never satisfied. It's a risk you have to take for us. We are typically loyal to our friends, those we consider our true friends. In the romantic area, we tend to have this "constant motion" view. It's like, "alright, I've got this person with these qualities, now how can I beat them?" A lot of the time, we don't intend to leave our person, we just intend to play others to see how close we can get. I know this is a bad thing and I'm guilty of it. Opportunities are important, though. I know there is a certain situation that is perfect for me. I don't know if it's this girl plus a boyfriend, or my friend and her boyfriend, or even my native american friend. I really like this girl I'm romantic with now, that is certain. She's pretty fucking awesome. At the same time, I wonder if I would be happier with my friend and her boyfriend. (And that is a situation which I am still looking into. I do feel like they would make me very happy as well.) My native american friend probably isn't good long term romantically speaking, she is in her thirties and has two kids, one nearing being a teenager, but she could be good for kink. (And that is okay with the girl I'm talking to now, we have talked about it.) On the subject of Napoleon Complex, it could be true that we have characteristics of it. In fact, it seems certain we do. Often, ENTPs, despite being social, popular, and whatever else, do have a small internal stature. No matter what we do, we feel smaller all the time. This doesn't apply to all of us, but certainly a lot of us feel this way. We're good at hiding it. The more social we get, the better we are at hiding it. No one ever knew I was depressed my entire life until about 17 or 18, because that's when I finally started talking about it. It's a lot like the INTJ superiority complex. INTJs seem to feel superior because they actually feel inferior on the inside. (The INTJ master race would never admit this, but it's a quality I have observed fairly frequently.)

Those numbers, [1] and [2] (I wanted to add a [3] about INTJs but skipped it), are for personal reference. I intend to write blogs about them, so I guess if this post interested you, look out for those.
 
My friend of many years is ENTP. I also made a cool ENTP acquaintance. So I'm very biased.

He spent a lot of time partying with his crowd. Lots of drama. But he and I get along fine in our introverted moments. He drew a lot of attention from people he would later want little to do with, but I guess that's how he got his fun.

I met the ENTP acquaintance at a fast food restaurant. He sat in the table next to mine, even though there were plenty of tables around. I did a short analysis and concluded that he was friendly and decided to be friendly, too, not just with my usual friendly-to-strangers mode. So yeah, we just hit it pretty well. We'll probably be better friends soon.

My ENTP is the only one who seems to "annoy" my INTP friend, which is an interesting dynamic. Normally, the INTP doesn't intentionally avoid hanging out with anyone.
 
I like some ENTPs and I dislike some ENTPs. The reason is because people are more than their type.
 
TDMmyriad said:
My own experience of INFJ's? Some of the nicest people I know, and some of the people I like best in the world. I find that I enjoy spending time with them, even if I don't have anything to say to them. I almost agree with them too much, and visa-versa, leaving us with nothing to talk about.
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Maybe this is why I can spend a whole day with my ENTP with little substantial talk. :smile:
 
unpersons said:
lotsa stuff
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Interesting. This all seems to be congruent with the ENTPs that I've met. I had some of these traits to an extreme level when I was younger. I can relate to some others ones a little too. I think I've mellowed out a lot because of personal experience with my traits having a negative impact on certain aspects of my life, as well as a personal commitment to people/ethics. Some of these traits inhibit the sustained personal connection to people/the world that I desire.

Thanks for writing all this out.
 
So what you're both saying is, I should stop pining after this ENTP who, despite being a clever, manipulative, selfish, and emotionally crippled individual, is strangely, perhaps even ecstatically, intriguing, enticing, tempting, and too frickin good-looking for my well-being? ^.^

Ok. The truth is we would be a baaaaaaaaad match but gosh darn it all other men I've yet to meet are predictable and therefore dull. He puzzles me; he fascinates me. It tempts me, sucks me in, and makes me want him in a way I don't quite understand. He wouldn't date me if I caved - doesn't like intuitives, says sensors are more interesting to him, because we intuitives are, apparently, easy to read :P it's just as well - my high Fi creates convictions that would stir my better judgement to avoid commitment with him, so why do I still pine and dream and fantasize? :P

Nonetheless I've found myself in quite the pickle. Tell me ladies, you dated ENTP's.. Do they have relationships on their terms? Still genuine, but in control, making it convenient for them? The ENTP I know isn't afraid of having a physical or otherwise intimate relationship free of commitment and on his terms.

Please, ENTP's, tell me WHYYYY. It drives me to madness!!
 
Shaqie said:
After reading your post I have a grand question, witch can break the universe into million particles of subatomic energy.

WTF?

My best friend is an ENTP and so far the horror around him can not be detected. I know this guy since like 8 years and I have no problem with him.
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I've known an ENTP friend for more than ten years. It was a little shaky during some of his social turmoil years in between, but overall, he was probably the person I spent the most time with by far. We're like brothers.
 
Whitened Mind said:
So what you're both saying is, I should stop pining after this ENTP who, despite being a clever, manipulative, selfish, and emotionally crippled individual, is strangely, perhaps even ecstatically, intriguing, enticing, tempting, and too frickin good-looking for my well-being? ^.^

Ok. The truth is we would be a baaaaaaaaad match but gosh darn it all other men I've yet to meet are predictable and therefore dull. He puzzles me; he fascinates me. It tempts me, sucks me in, and makes me want him in a way I don't quite understand. He wouldn't date me if I caved - doesn't like intuitives, says sensors are more interesting to him, because we intuitives are, apparently, easy to read :P it's just as well - my high Fi creates convictions that would stir my better judgement to avoid commitment with him, so why do I still pine and dream and fantasize? :P

Nonetheless I've found myself in quite the pickle. Tell me ladies, you dated ENTP's.. Do they have relationships on their terms? Still genuine, but in control, making it convenient for them? The ENTP I know isn't afraid of having a physical or otherwise intimate relationship free of commitment and on his terms.

Please, ENTP's, tell me WHYYYY. It drives me to madness!!
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Exactly. Most of the females in my class are stone-faced, and a couple of them are mean-faced. A few of them are intellectually interesting, mildly fun, or kind, but only the ENTP female actually delights me.
 
The attraction is there still

But if I see any of those traits in a man...I'm getting away. LOL.
 
Asarya said:
I posted this on a different ENTP related thread. I really am not seeing ENTPs the way some other INFJ seem to be. Maybe Ive just met extremely healthy and mature ones.
I think a relationship between INFJ and ENTP is not the most ideal but could work very well. My ENTP and I grew apart eventually and moved on amicabaly but it was a great relationship while it lasted and we are still very close friends.
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thanks really interesting :-)
 
I know two entps, one I'm married to, and one that's a friend. Both are clever and funny and strongly ethical. It just depends on the person more than the type.
 
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