Is shyness always such a bad thing?

I think of shyness as a neurological threshold which leads to a manner of presentation based on the receipt of certain stimuli in the context of a social situation. Whether that is good or bad is up to the person judging it as such. To my mind, shyness just is. It is a part of the human experience.

Shyness is only a problem (in my view) when the shy individual experiences a lesser quality of life (by their own measure) as a result of it.

In general, I find shyness to be attractive. I also appreciate that others may think and feel differently in this regard.


cheers,
Ian
 
kiu said:
The behaviour would freak out my mother's acquaintances when I was young. They were really disturbed by how keenly I observed them. I didn't stare but I guess they knew I was watching. <twilight zone theme>.
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:m197:

kiu said:
At the same time, some people find shyness very endearing.
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I do, depending upon the person and the reason.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
I'd say it's only a bad thing if it keeps you from being who you want to be.
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this exactly. Some day somebody's gonna see you for who you are res some day, some one is gonna realize that you are amazing. Just the way you are.
 
I just wrote a speech for my public speaking class about this.
 
I wouldn't call it a bad thing, I could only imagine a world where everyone was in your face.
 
aeon said:
I think of shyness as a neurological threshold which leads to a manner of presentation based on the receipt of certain stimuli in the context of a social situation. Whether that is good or bad is up to the person judging it as such. To my mind, shyness just is. It is a part of the human experience.
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Shyness is rooted in low self-esteem- which is a bad thing. Which in turn is developed from patterns of negative thoughts and behaviour. This develops from child hood, where such individuals grew up in an emotional and psychological environment that was not conducive to their personality.

So in most cases, INFX types are extremely likely to develop shyness and social anxiety.

aeon said:
Shyness is only a problem (in my view) when the shy individual experiences a lesser quality of life (by their own measure) as a result of it.
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Which is most of the time! They just learn to live with it.

aeon said:
In general, I find shyness to be attractive. I also appreciate that others may think and feel differently in this regard.
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Having said all that, my girlfriend is extremely shy and it's just who she is. I don't see it as attractive or unattractive.
 
Res said:
And i can only hope that i can find someone who can appreciate this quality without it seeming like a trait which reflects lack of confidence or weakness.
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It is a lack of confidence. But that's not necessarily a bad thing that should put anyone off dating someone. I am shy in many contexts, in others I'm totally confident.

I think it's important to define that confidence is not an overall trait or skill. Confidence is visible in people because they are probably doing something that they have done many times before and feel comfortable with. So in a way, everything lacks as much confidence as everyone else, because NF's, say, have skills and abilities that SP's don't.

It's just that we always define confidence in a social context.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
I'd say it's only a bad thing if it keeps you from being who you want to be.
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yup :)

It depends but for me, it's almost always been a bad thing :(

it also prevents me from getting to know other people and in our culture, if you're shy, you won't survive. You have to make an impression and be more assertive. You have to let other people know that you're there or else people will just take advantage of you. So in my situation, yes it is a bad thing... a really bad thing :(
 
 
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