love, fixation, -i obsess, obsessively, when i find joy- i've the recipe to create reciprocation

dj-elsa

dj-elsa

Regular Poster
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
type 5; sp/so/sx
this is in response to:
Jana said:
That is the question, I agree...
Click to expand...
, jana's response to my response to her thread


there are such few real experiences and people i truly long for

this fascination began 15 years ago, and has slowly developed and consumes me

i've always let it be his choice if we spend time or not...never forced, tricked, lied or liquored him up

"I could love [him] til forever, when I look into [his] eyes" --armand van helden's remix

2 nights ago...it was fun cleaning his vomit off his boss' daughter's luggage in the limo, i love that he keeps coming to me as if i'm his asylum...

so now I will use my psych degree for what was my intention in getting it - - to have what i want despite my extreme introversion, out of love, because what I love, I deeply, deeply love

:m027: my love is like war - - at any cost - - because my passion is my blessed curse- -

here is what i'm doing this round:
-2 hours before going to that company party, i listened to "10 qualities of highly charismatic people" to make sure his social circle was on my side

articles that i've found very helpful:
http://www.ivillage.com/5-ways-make-anyone-fall-love-you/4-a-284130?p=3
 
So I dont understand. Do you mean to say that you are going to manipulate someone into loving you?
 
is it manipulation or is it what other people "get" naturally?

corndogman said:
So I dont understand. Do you mean to say that you are going to manipulate someone into loving you?
Click to expand...


that's why i made sure to add, he's always come back on his own - - 15 yrs is a long time to give people a choice to keep you around or not, and we've had some MAJOR experiences


so am i dumb for not using what i know to help myself? i've always had a knack for psychology. someone had posted a few days ago bout feeling lkike a manipulator....i'm not a manipulator, and i'm also not a moron.

i'm stuck, like my mental program is asking "why did someone create this, then? and why am i not qualified to get to be a mom n wife to teh person i choose?" n why doesn't he just move along, then, if i'm not the one n let me find my own happiness? let me just add, he is soooo indecisive.
 
Your sentence structure confuses the various lobes of my brain.
 
it's the meaning that's confusing, maybe?

Urtehnoes said:
Your sentence structure confuses the various lobes of my brain.
Click to expand...

hello, english isn't my first language, though i'm pretty good with languages...
i suspect what you maybe don't understand is the meaning of what i'm saying?
the other two people (INFJs) that responded totally understood me...
so...perhaps it's just a concept that i won't be able to accurately convey to you with words?
i'm very, very curious, why would you even read that post if you're totally not on the same page personality-wise? not a complaint, k? just very curious
 
dj-elsa said:
hello, english isn't my first language, though i'm pretty good with languages...
i suspect what you maybe don't understand is the meaning of what i'm saying?
the other two people (INFJs) that responded totally understood me...
so...perhaps it's just a concept that i won't be able to accurately convey to you with words?
i'm very, very curious, why would you even read that post if you're totally not on the same page personality-wise? not a complaint, k? just very curious
Click to expand...

Im curious about who these two INFJs are that you are referring to. Your english isnt too bad. Whats your primary language?
 
well, you understood per the question you asked me. In essence, yes, it'd almost be trickery or brainwashing. except just saw, you are istj

dragon said he/she'd not claim to not use the information

my first language is spanish
 
btw, u said you fall in love and are happy every time you do, which implies it wasn't just a one-time thing for you? unless with same person, over n over again

the love i speak of transcends time, and in fact is intensified and ingrained more deeply with time. such as, the more time we spend with our pets, our parents, children, etc, the more we love them because the more we know them and the more memories we've made with them
 
Hm, maybe dum question...but have you ever told him?
If yes, how did he response?
In no, why, tell him!
 
dj-elsa said:
hello, english isn't my first language
Click to expand...

dealing with topics found on this forum on nonfirst language can be rather like swimming in the calmless lake...it is hard, but you just have to keep moving...
I don't bother anymore whether I make some mistakes or not, I just try to explain my point.
THough, my English improved since I joined here.
 
i suspect what you maybe don't understand is the meaning of what i'm saying?
Click to expand...
What you wrote is difficult to understand. Knowing (assuming) what you mean is beside the point.

the other two people (INFJs) that responded totally understood me...
Click to expand...
Only one INFJ responded. Judging from his brief reply, he at least understood what the link was saying. Nothing you said needed to be understood for him to reply the way he did. You cannot say he totally understood you, nor even partially.

I'm not saying he did or not. I am saying you cannot make a claim that he did.

I'm very, very curious, why would you even read that post if you're totally not on the same page personality-wise?
Click to expand...
Summary: no non-INFJs allowed

not a complaint, k? just very curious
Click to expand...
Fe lies!
 
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ok, people, what is the problem?
1. Dj loves someone for long time?
2. She decided to make him love her also...
Nothing complicated...

My questions for her..
Is it intersted in you in some other way than coming when he needs help?
What if you don't success, there is possibility...my experience with long loves is that you can't make someone to love you by being good. That is the way to find friends, not loves...
 
Jana said:
ok, people, what is the problem?
1. Dj loves someone for long time?
2. She decided to make him love her also...
Nothing complicated...
Click to expand...
Who said it was complicated?

She said a lot. Your summary is nice and all, but it's not saying what she said.

You can simplify and ignore the bulk of what she said if that's your choice (I often do it myself), but that is beside the point mr. zebra unicorn has made.
 
o_q said:
Who said it was complicated?
Click to expand...

I got the feeling that discussion started to be more about what someone said than about topic. I tend to belive that people open topics because they need:
a)advice
b)vent
c)comfort
d)....

Not lecture about language...
 
Jana said:
I got the feeling that discussion started to be more about what someone said than about topic. I tend to belive that people open topics because they need:
a)advice
b)vent
c)comfort
d)....

Not lecture about language...
Click to expand...
You're only saying it's a lecture after the fact that we're arguing because arguing implies opposition (to any and everything you want)

Make note that possibly the only one taking offense is the one who's indirectly rejecting non-INFJs.

I didn't read anything after Urtehnoes' post. All I am saying is that what he's saying is true. That is not to say that she shouldn't speak at all. It's difficult to read. What's wrong with a fact?
 
o_q said:
You're only saying it's a lecture after the fact that we're arguing because arguing implies opposition (to any and everything you want)

Make note that possibly the only one taking offense is the one who's indirectly rejecting non-INFJs.
Click to expand...

1. If you want to say that I mentioned lecture just because we disagreed, as much as i don't want admit I am wrong, you might be right:) But, hey, it is human...but I agree that it was "ad hominem", so sorry...
2. Also I agree, but I am subjective with language problem because I always have that language issue problem with myself. I want to talk here, but i always wondered how well i am understood. It is reason why I jumped on that...maybe too hard:)
And yes, as in life, different perspectives from different people and types are good thing.
 
dj-elsa said:
that's why i made sure to add, he's always come back on his own - - 15 yrs is a long time to give people a choice to keep you around or not, and we've had some MAJOR experiences


so am i dumb for not using what i know to help myself? i've always had a knack for psychology. someone had posted a few days ago bout feeling lkike a manipulator....i'm not a manipulator, and i'm also not a moron.

i'm stuck, like my mental program is asking "why did someone create this, then? and why am i not qualified to get to be a mom n wife to teh person i choose?" n why doesn't he just move along, then, if i'm not the one n let me find my own happiness? let me just add, he is soooo indecisive.
Click to expand...


I dont have a problem with your manipulation skills. I just find it unusual that you are A: so honest and B: willing to force some one into an emotional relationship with you. Also I dont envision love to involve coersion, but I admit to trying to make myself more appealing.
 
You can't make someone fall in love with you. They either do or they don't.
If you can delude yourself into believing that your tactics will make this person fall in love with you-- are you prepared to constantly maintain that facade?
It sounds entirely exhausting, not worth it, and destined for failure.
 
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