New Girlfriend is Friends with her Ex?!

Hippo

(Do you guys say that? Happily Ignoring Previous POsts...)

Just have a 3some and maintain eye contact with him the whole time, Nickolas Cage style eye contact. That should scare him or both of them away. Either way...problem solved!
 
Isn't it obvious? He is still in love with her and hopes to inch his way emotionally by being her "best friend". I tell you, once you two have a fight or a minor separation, she'll be jumping in the sack with him. She is also not innocent herself because (even if subconsciously) she is keeping him around as security in case things don't work out with you (or she gets bored of you).
 
RunDeep said:
So it's been about 2 days now, and the ex sent me a message on Facebook. lol Basically telling me that him and Emily are "best friends" and that I'm mean to not be comfortable with it. I responded and said that I never told Emily to stop being friends with him, but that she made that choice because she respects and cares about my feelings which I expressed. I told him that I empathize with him but that he should not take it personally. This is just a natural step of moving on IMO.
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Okay, now tell us what happened after that...

It has almost been a week since your last post. The suspense is killing me!

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RunDeep said:
Now for the bad news. Tonight she texted her ex to tell him that they needed space now that she was in a new relationship, and how it wasn't fair to me. Her ex completely freaked out and got mad, sent her a bunch of texts saying that I was a controlling douchebag who "was going to wreck her life". He called her and left her a voicemail crying and kept repeating how much he needed her in his life, and basically hinting around at committing suicide if she stopped being his friend. Emily got really scared and freaked out, understandably, not knowing what to do. Clearly, he has a few issues and I do feel bad for the guy. But his reaction showed me just how unhealthy this friendship is. Threatening suicide is manipulative and guilt-tripping. It's not a good situation for either him or Emily. And now the ex asked Emily if he could talk to me? It appears we have a whole different situation to deal with. *sighs* I'm with her right now actually, and we have been dealing with this for the past 2 hours or so. It hasn't been resolved yet.
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What was the reason she broke up with him?

He is very controlling. Don't even talk to him. I would completely ignore him. What is there to resolve? She broke up with him and is dating you. It's over. (Or it should be, but you guys appear to be doing exactly what he wants... giving him attention.)
 
I literally just made my account after seeing this thread and having to add my two cents.

I am friends with all of my exes, and all except one was a mutual break up. I loved and cared for them deeply, and to some degree I still do care about them. Most of them I do not talk to regularly, except the last and most recent.

If a new partner told me I had to cut off these people, who were important to me, important to my growth as a human being, to the portrait of my history- it would be a deal breaker. I have always been MINE before I was yours.

I agree with Slant, this behavior comes off as controlling, if not a wee bit creepy. None of my exes had a problem with my friendships, though one would tease me about it. If my future partner told me I had to cut off these exes, I would definitely not, I'd have to end the relationship. I am not his property or his child who he can tell what to do and who to communicate with. I am fine with him being friends with his exes, so he should be fine with me being friends with mine. Like I said, it would be a deal breaker and I would see this as a redflag for future controlling and possibly gaslighting, manipulative behavior.

There is a submissive, co-dependent type of woman you are looking for that would suit you fine but it's clear this Emily isn't it, she has different values and ideas of boundaries than you do and this WILL become an issue, even if you put it off or try your best to ignore it. You are incompatible. You can try but it's not good for you, you should find someone compatible and get out before you end up hurt. Goodluck!

(And her ex is being obviously manipulative and sounds emotionally unstable to the highest degree. But that is not every case! Not all of our exes are demented and clingy! She's going to have to make a stand for her own well-being before anyone elses. But this isnt a regular case with a regular ex.)
 
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been on here for a while! I've been going through a major depression the past month or so. I lost my job and then things continued to spiral out of control for me emotionally. There have been times I just wanted to give up, if I'm being completely honest... It's been a really rough month.

Emily and I are still together. She's been my rock (along with my parents) during this hard time. as for her ex, well let's just say he's out of the picture for now. He began to get weird and borderline crazy, and it started to scare me honestly. Apparently Emily is used to him going through these "fits" as she calls it, but she decided to cut him off because he was taking it out on her and blaming her for things she didn't need to feel bad about. Honestly I think he need therapy, and having him in our lives really complicated things.
 
acd said:
What was the reason she broke up with him?

He is very controlling. Don't even talk to him. I would completely ignore him. What is there to resolve? She broke up with him and is dating you. It's over. (Or it should be, but you guys appear to be doing exactly what he wants... giving him attention.)
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She broke up with him because he was she felt suffocated. He was manipulative and clingy she said and would make her feel guilty over really small things, like going to hang out with her friends and going shopping, visiting parents, etc. without him along.
 
RunDeep said:
She broke up with him because he was she felt suffocated. He was manipulative and clingy she said and would make her feel guilty over really small things, like going to hang out with her friends and going shopping, visiting parents, etc. without him along.
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I see. Sorry to hear of your hardships in your other post, but I'm glad for you guys that you cut ties with the ex.
 
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