People leave INFJs

Jill Hives said:
I thought the same thing about myself for a while and I am an INFP. I've since come to the conclusion that [MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION] basically has the right idea. When someone plays the victim and is oozing a kind of "woe is me" stench about them, they rarely keep friends for long, or have trouble developing meaningful relationships. Not saying you are this way, I have no idea about that. But it took me realizing this to get myself out of that train of thought. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Positive thinking should be directed towards yourself first so you can then channel it to other people. Feels good man.
Click to expand...



Yeah u guys r right.....TIME TO PARTY AND GET DRUNK ON THAT EGG NOG! <--*joking*
 
chulo said:
cuz I'm a genius
Click to expand...

Yo check it out

The poster above claims to be a motherfuckin brain
He should cut out his silly little game
See into the future? Oh man, oh please
The farthest ahead this sucka ever sees
Is the tip of his nose when he walks into them trees
 
INFJok said:
Yeah u guys r right.....TIME TO PARTY AND GET DRUNK ON THAT EGG NOG! <--*joking*
Click to expand...

Yo check it out

This infj above be so lonely, so tense
She get stuck writin' in the past tense
Let's get drunk, crunk, get our brain shrunk
Yo man cant you see all of this is bunk
This is you in shackles by your all-encompassing
your undying, your unwilling negativity
It's time to break them bonds, set off alarms
Form a new mindset, make the old one begone
Spread your wings and fly, up to the sky
To all your fears of old, say now goodbye
 
INFJok said:
"... You know you're an INFJ when little, to no people stay in your life for very long, because they don't understand you, your feelings, 'nor your intensity. "

Saw this in a forum and easily related to this.
Are we THAT complicated to even stick around for or are we just destined to be loners?
Click to expand...
I think the same applies to INFPs, too. It's hard to hold on to a lot of people, not enough energy to be a social butterfly.. It's not even about understanding or intensity. Friends tend to stay in touch if they love each other. Maintaining solid feelings and acceptance towards others for what they are is not something that everyone is capable of.. INFx tend to stick to mere acquaintances only if there's a prospect of developing stronger friendship, otherwise spending the energy, dispersing it could be a little too much. And deciding that "this is the person I want to keep in my life" comes from unique deep insights we have into people's characters.
So, it's not a big surprise that people come and go and only few remain often times as life long friends.
 
I actually have quite a bunch of friends... It's been very challenging to keep it this way. But i made sure that only a selected few may get close to me. And i am making sure all the time to not expect too much from them, as they are not like me... In the sense that they don't understand me as well as i understand them. And it's okay. It's just how they are, and how i am. I love them very much, and i feel like they love me as well.

As for romance, i'm with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half now. She is an ENFJ, which is working out really good for the both of us :). We love each other very much :)
 
I have a lot of casual friends I go out with and have fun with, but they don't completely know me entirely because I perceive it unnecessary to share my entire self with everybody. They are more like in-the-moment friends. I wouldn't call them if my dog died or my car broke down. These friendships fade in and out. I wouldn't call them shallow, just connected on a different wavelength of self disclosure. I've had more intimate friendships that faded and ceased, not due to any conflict, but merely growing apart. I had a female friend from work who was in her mid thirties and getting divorced, and for a few years, we constantly talked and hung out and got crazy drunken tattoos together and stupid things like that. She got back with her husband and our communication began to fade until its been two years since we talked. It's bittersweet to think of her. I understand she is in a new phase and there isn't much room for me there--she needs to focus on her family. So while I miss her, I'm thrilled she has all she ever wanted and if we reconnect again when we are on a similar wavelength, great. If not, it was great to experience life with her for a time. Then I have rock solid friendship. Only one of my friends I consider this solid because we've been friends for over a decade, and through separations and trials, we have always come together again. She knows things about me I didn't even have to tell her--because she gets me and accepts me and visa versa. We just know. Sometimes, I'll have a thought or wonder something about her out of the blue and she will call and tell me about something going on with her life along those lines. But it's so rare for me to have a friend like that. She is the only person besides my mom I trust with everything.

The point is that real understanding and friendship is rare. Not everyone you know or meet is able to connect with you on that level--but you can still maintain some type of relationship. It takes years and years to get to the deeper more solid and intimate relationships. its all about mutual investment to get there though. so it is necessary to have a strong relationship with yourself to know when and with who to share and how. And it will maintain your contentment with life and a sense if psychological well being for those times you think you are alone or that a friend has left you. I wouldn't say my older married female friend left me-- I'd say she embarked on a new path in her life and I can cope because I know i have my own path to travel.

life is not about holding on to people, but about appreciating the time you have with them and then letting them go gracefully. We all go in the end.
 
Jill Hives said:
Cuz he's the mother flippin' rhymenocerous, see.
Click to expand...

ay yo
I'm the rhymenocerous endorsed by the populous
of the jungle of concrete, inside your metropolis
inhabited by various variants of inhabitants
wildlife, this wild life is only for savages
I flourish and forage, in the foreignest forest
I'm so loyal to my soil, I'm like a swarm of hornets
I'm very territorial avoid my circumference
I weigh 2000 pounds and I need lots of sustenance
 
I'm too lazy to read most of these posts...but I'll give mytwo cents none the less.

I agree with [MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION]

Yes, I have a lot of traffic in my life...a lot of people that come in and out. I think that's just the joy of being an introvert with Fe. I'm really interested in meeting new people and getting to know them ,but I'm not going to become best friends with everyone. I find in life there are seasons. Sometimes certain people fit these seasons well, and you can have a mutually beneficial relationship for a time. Not all relationships last.

To say no one sticks around for the INFJ is unfair. Sometimes, I think we ditch people more than we realise. I've noticed this myself with some friends recently, INFJs included. We tend to withdraw and people are sometimes a little more hesitant when we finally get back in touch. I can understand that.

As INFJs we value intimate relationships, and generally only have a few. If you are someone who enjoys cultivating relationships and investing time, you are guaranteed not to be alone.

Over the years I have developed some really amazing friendships. Some of them have come and gone, drifted, others have been constant.

This is life....not the sob story of a sensitive soul.
 
In my experience, I find myself to be more of the leaver than the one people leave...but, in a way I feel as if they did leave me in the end, since they didn't reach out to apologize or anything...I would've forgave them...That sounds morose, but the truth is I have finally found people that I can have stable relationships with albeit they are few :) they are meaningful. It's something that just sort of happens. Despite conflict things worked out. I understand that loner personality thing though, I've felt that feel. It hurts because you just want someone that 'gets' you and actually wants to put effort into you back!
 
My soul is an endless black void of nothingness from which I scream to no avail.
There can be no escape from the ceaseless torture of existence.
The nipples of mother hope have truly run dry.
 
Whoa! I didn't know we had so many talented poets ( [MENTION=4717]subwayrider[/MENTION] [MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION] [MENTION=5090]Apone[/MENTION]) !
 
ay yo
I'm the rhymenocerous endorsed by the populous
of the jungle of concrete, inside your metropolis
inhabited by various variants of inhabitants
wildlife, this wild life is only for savages
I flourish and forage, in the foreignest forest
I'm so loyal to my soil, I'm like a swarm of hornets
I'm very territorial avoid my circumference
I weigh 2000 pounds and I need lots of sustenance
Click to expand...

Hahaha chulo this was priceless. I hope you are recording these things.
 
chulo said:
ay yo
I'm the rhymenocerous endorsed by the populous
of the jungle of concrete, inside your metropolis
inhabited by various variants of inhabitants
wildlife, this wild life is only for savages
I flourish and forage, in the foreignest forest
I'm so loyal to my soil, I'm like a swarm of hornets
I'm very territorial avoid my circumference
I weigh 2000 pounds and I need lots of sustenance
Click to expand...

XDDD
 
Grey Wolf said:
ahh I love the half ass version. whole world thinks we're Es and think we're oh so shallow (not that I think Es are shallow. I mean it like that half-ass version makes us look shallow. well, in my case anyway :D)
Click to expand...
They may think whatever they please! :) I think showing all of our sides at once would be a waste of time for the both parties. Usually it's pretty clear in the beginning if you have a chance to sync or not. If I'm unsure I just don't bother.
But I've noticed that many people project something unbelievable and believe me to be who I'm not and haven't even implied anyhow, like that I'm a vegan or at least a vegetarian, or I'm bisexual, I'm a party animal and the soul of every company. I've never said those things or voiced any thoughts about it but it's very common for people to think that I am. Just a few examples. I don't mind much. I only answer with "no", they get surprised and that's it.
 
Yeah people usually figure me out entirely wrong. I don't mind at all. When i speak to them i just say no politely kinda like Ada said ^.
 
acd said:
life is not about holding on to people, but about appreciating the time you have with them and then letting them go gracefully. We all go in the end.
Click to expand...

So true.

I've found it takes a lot of sifting through people to discover the ones that are worth keeping in your life. But it is usually clear from the beginning if you will click with that person and have a lasting friendship/relationship. Other's not so much, and it takes a lot of work to maintain. That's how it is. I don't think anyone's destined to be alone...it just requires a certain blending of similar minds at the right time and place.
 
So true.

I've found it takes a lot of sifting through people to discover the ones that are worth keeping in your life. But it is usually clear from the beginning if you will click with that person and have a lasting friendship/relationship. Other's not so much, and it takes a lot of work to maintain. That's how it is. I don't think anyone's destined to be alone...it just requires a certain blending of similar minds at the right time and place.
Click to expand...

I agree. Although to me it was also important to learn that in order to have more than just a very small number of friends, i have to let go of my ideals ( my standards are very high towards myself ), and be more accepting of people who do not meet my highest standards (ideals wise - as in their views of human nature, politics, behaviors and such). So yeah that's my 2 cents here.
 
I am extremely awkward when it comes to relationships. I actually never really had one(that could be why). The one "relationship" I had lasted two days. Guys really don't find me worth taking the initiative. Or I just scare them. :m054:
 
Ivory Rose said:
I am extremely awkward when it comes to relationships. I actually never really had one(that could be why). The one "relationship" I had lasted two days. Guys really don't find me worth taking the initiative. Or I just scare them. :m054:
Click to expand...

You scare me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top