Spiritual Bypassing



 
It's very complicated because when life's an utter shit and messes up the life of someone I love very deeply, the only way I can survive and keep us both going is by being positive and putting fuel on the fire of hope. It's not a denial but an acknowledgement and a fierce defiance in the face of adversity.
 
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John K said:
It's very complicated because when life's an utter shit and messes up the life someone I love very deeply, the only way I can survive and keep us both going is by being positive and putting fuel on the fire of hope. It's not a denial but an acknowledgement and a fierce defiance in the face of adversity.
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Yes it is John. You are completely immersed in and mindful of what's facing you every day. You aren't denying your feelings. You are witnessing them and then choosing another potential way. Your Heart is huge and powerful that way. <3
 
Kgal said:
Yes it is John. You are completely immersed in and mindful of what's facing you every day. You aren't denying your feelings. You are witnessing them and then choosing another potential way. Your Heart is huge and powerful that way. <3
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Definitely Kgal - there is a risk of slipping into denial, but there is also a risk of slipping down the slope of depair. I'd rather go down fighting and spitting hope in the devil's eye :D
 
John K said:
Definitely Kgal - there is a risk of slipping into denial, but there is also a risk of slipping down the slope of depair. I'd rather go down fighting and spitting hope in the devil's eye :D
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You are a Warrior for Light John! :D
 

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John K said:
It's very complicated because when life's an utter shit and messes up the life of someone I love very deeply, the only way I can survive and keep us both going is by being positive and putting fuel on the fire of hope. It's not a denial but an acknowledgement and a fierce defiance in the face of adversity.
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Mine has been on and off roller coaster since the 90s mainly due to family so it not like I had it good to begin with.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
Mine has been on and off roller coaster since the 90s mainly due to family so it not like I had it good to begin with.
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It’s hard to get the right balance. Like you say, being positive by denying reality just buries stuff where it festers and becomes poison. Being overwhelmed by negativity is hellish. Somewhere in the middle is the only way I’ve been able to steer ok. For me, this doesn’t work as a passive compromise - it needs the fire of hope and battle, figuratively speaking, to make it real.

It’s a weird thing but mostly when people offer sympathy dressed in the clothes of positivity they are insecure underneath and looking for reassurance deep down that it’s all ok. The insecurity comes from fear. I see this in people who contact me to see how someone I’m caring for is doing - they are seeking comfort as well as offering support. It can be hard work dealing with that because often they are looking over a cliff edge into a darkness that they don’t know how to deal with.
 
John K said:
It’s hard to get the right balance. Like you say, being positive by denying reality just buries stuff where it festers and becomes poison. Being overwhelmed by negativity is hellish. Somewhere in the middle is the only way I’ve been able to steer ok. For me, this doesn’t work as a passive compromise - it needs the fire of hope and battle, figuratively speaking, to make it real.

It’s a weird thing but mostly when people offer sympathy dressed in the clothes of positivity they are insecure underneath and looking for reassurance deep down that it’s all ok. The insecurity comes from fear. I see this in people who contact me to see how someone I’m caring for is doing - they are seeking comfort as well as offering support. It can be hard work dealing with that because often they are looking over a cliff edge into a darkness that they don’t know how to deal with.
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Having come out of the church and new age pipelines my perspective on toxic positivity isn't nice at all between what I've experienced first hand, what I've directly observed with others, and what people had to share of their experiences regarding this issue. To say the least how it hurts people is nothing short of devastating especially when there is the loss of a loved one such as losing a child ect. A lot of personality types will often feel a fairly strong emotional response when met with this while some will feel invalidation and shame others even depression while for others it can be anger like in my case. For me personally I reached the limited over the past couple of years dealing with it in the new age communities when covid got pretty bad while people where going through hell it wasn't uncommon for people to pop up needing some support only to be met with empty platitudes ect. In the churches it wasn't really any different in the years before so people had to put on the social mask and pretend everything was all ok even though it wasn't. So the point for me is that I generally despise it as it shuts people up from being able to speak up about real issues and how they generally think or feel as such isn't positive vibes thus are rejected be it the topics or the persons themselves as often the case these days.
 
My friend and I have continued to discuss what she went through and she was able to clarify for herself that it was her need for certainty that drew her further down that path I mentioned earlier in this thread. At this point we're playfully calling certainty THE OTHER toxic positivity.
 
John K said:
It's very complicated because when life's an utter shit and messes up the life of someone I love very deeply, the only way I can survive and keep us both going is by being positive and putting fuel on the fire of hope. It's not a denial but an acknowledgement and a fierce defiance in the face of adversity.
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This really resonates for me. I'm constantly having to press on in many facets of life. When I feel hopelessness I sit with it. I find the things that actually are hopeless and I grieve those. After that I'm able to find direction again. No denial, just honesty, and a very real channel through which life and love can flow.
 
This turned out to be a very valuable topic for me to explore and it's something I want to keep writing about. I'm wondering if it should be more of a member blog thing though. Is it possible to move this @Wyote?
 
Wildfire said:
This turned out to be a very valuable topic for me to explore and it's something I want to keep writing about. I'm wondering if it should be more of a member blog thing though. Is it possible to move this @Wyote?
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It's not a blog, which are more like in the style of personal journals covering a wide range of things/personal individual contemplations.

Interesting topic though, for sure.
Makes more sense to have it outside blogs for everyone to contribute to it.
 
Wyote said:
It's not a blog, which are more like in the style of personal journals covering a wide range of things/personal individual contemplations.

Interesting topic though, for sure.
Makes more sense to have it outside blogs for everyone to contribute to it.
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Okay. I guess I'm operating under the impression that there isn't really that much interest in the topic, and I was picturing my future posts as much more blog like, though topic specific. Maybe I will start anew. I definitely don't want anyone who posted here to feel that their contributions have been hijacked, which is a thought that only occurred to me after my post above.
 
Wildfire said:
Okay. I guess I'm operating under the impression that there isn't really that much interest in the topic, and I was picturing my future posts as much more blog like, though topic specific. Maybe I will start anew. I definitely don't want anyone who posted here to feel that their contributions have been hijacked, which is a thought that only occurred to me after my post above.
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I mean there's nothing stopping you from writing about it in your own blog from your own perspective and inviting input.
It's just that this is a very topic specific thread which the community on a whole is welcome to contribute to. Very different from a blog.

I don't think anyone would be particularly offended by some zeal towards any topic, that's always nice to see.
 
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