Straight INFJ Males

Ack,got cut off and the phone app has no edit. Until 30 I could not feel rage. Ended up with nerve and muscle problems which were buried rage and frustration. Now it comes out so that I wont physiically hurt (after years of retraining my sympathetic nervous system). My Fe just wouldn't let me express it. Now I can, but it pops up suddenly. I'm learning to handle it like your usual 4 year old.
 
I don't think I fit into the typical male mold at all.

I don't like TV sports. In fact, I don't like team sports much in general. I don't feel that work defines me, though I do search for satisfaction in my job.

I cook better than most girls I know. I often carry my emotions in front of me.

Who knows, maybe all this is normal for guys.
 
Wyst said:
I don't think I fit into the typical male mold at all.

I don't like TV sports. In fact, I don't like team sports much in general. I don't feel that work defines me, though I do search for satisfaction in my job.

I cook better than most girls I know. I often carry my emotions in front of me.

Who knows, maybe all this is normal for guys.
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It is, perfectly. Its society that has killed this by adding its stereotypes and discouraging people from being themselves.
 
Raccoon Love said:
It is, perfectly. Its society that has killed this by adding its stereotypes and discouraging people from being themselves.
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I would disagree. It is your acceptance of what you assume everyone has defined what it is to be male or female.
 
I am a straight INFJ male.

As for my preferences: i do like firearms (ISTJ Dad always took me shooting) and I was in Martial Arts for years as a kid.

I do have a feminine side but I have been told by many that I have a very balanced gender stereotype.

I remember in my Senior high school year book I received several comments saying things like that. One for example: " I love your masculinity and you always know when something is wrong" from a girl in my Advanced Drama class. That class was like a family to me, and I always used to try and look out for everybody.

I was never really into sports. I tried wrestling as a freshman and enjoyed that, but the coach thought I wasn't aggressive enough and attacked me constantly so I never went back. Don't know if this counts but i do like to drive on twisty roads very fast. : )

I have gotten more adept at using my tertiary Ti in the last couple years and i think that's where the balance comes from. When i was i kid i got made fun of constantly for my Fe. It used to hurt my feelings from time to time, but i also feel like it has made me very resilient. I was always an independent kid anyway.
 
Wyst said:
I don't think I fit into the typical male mold at all.

I don't like TV sports. In fact, I don't like team sports much in general. I don't feel that work defines me, though I do search for satisfaction in my job.

I cook better than most girls I know. I often carry my emotions in front of me.

Who knows, maybe all this is normal for guys.
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I really like the last sentence. I think some ppl are closing their minds a little. Gay and straight males are not naturally different, we are very much the same. Many heterosexual males are stereotypical because they are somewhat forced to achieve hegemonic masculinity. Since many gay men are closed off from that competition for embracing their sexuality, they may seem like they are "super" feminine when in reality they are just being themselves. Plus there are probably plenty of straight men that do things that are considered feminine when they're alone. So it doesn't really make sense to compare straight and gay INFJs because the difference and similarities are insignificant.
 
Straight INFJ males, not my cup of tea. [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION].
 
iworkforcookies said:
I really like the last sentence. I think some ppl are closing their minds a little. Gay and straight males are not naturally different, we are very much the same. Many heterosexual males are stereotypical because they are somewhat forced to achieve hegemonic masculinity. Since many gay men are closed off from that competition for embracing their sexuality, they may seem like they are "super" feminine when in reality they are just being themselves. Plus there are probably plenty of straight men that do things that are considered feminine when they're alone. So it doesn't really make sense to compare straight and gay INFJs because the difference and similarities are insignificant.
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I think this makes a lot of sense.
 
VH said:
INFJ males are without a doubt the rarest group of MBTI type. Two thirds of INFJs are females. Many INFJ males are gay (possibly a majority), which further reduces the numbers of straight INFJ males.

Due to the differences in perspective based on gender, I'd really like to have as many straight INFJ males (that don't mind revealing their orientation as such) check in on this thread, with the intention of possibly creating a user group with the intention of discussing the condition of being a straight INFJ male, and to see how much we have in common with one another, as well as discuss the differences we may have with INFJ females.

While this might seem like gender bias or even sexism, I've noticed that straight INFJ males do tend to have some significant personality differences from INFJ females and even gay INFJ males, who (and I mean no offense when I say) often share many female perspectives.
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It is not inconceivable to assume that most INFJ males are 4 to 6 on the Kinsey scale. But we are talking about sexual attraction (a matter of environmental/genetic influence) not emotional expression and attachment (a function of Fe). From my general perspective of sexuality, homosexual behavior may often be found in males as a response to social rejection from the male social group (composed primarily of extroverted thinkers), even if their basic orientation is heterosexual, thus adding to the statistic if the assumption is true.

"Female perspective" may be a product of Fe. It is possible that INFJ straight males may find more in common with female perspectives in general simply because Fe is a standard range of female behavior. Thus if INFJ males connect better with Fe females, they may adopt behaviors that are categorized as feminine while moderating this in group contexts where there is a strong expectation of behavior within the standard male range.

Male behavior is partially socially constructed, influenced by individualism and possibly reinforced by NFs and SJs.
 
knight in battle said:
The presumption that the cause of indirect environmental influences can move a person's sexuality either toward one side of the spectrum or toward the other.
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but I mean, what makes you have that presumption? I only ask because my sexuality has alway been quite polar, there was never any questioning about it or anything; girls just always gave me little butterflies in my chest when I was young and then little butterflies in my pants when I was older :D. I mean I suppose this all can come into play when you are very very young but what makes you think it doesn't have the potential to be a biological thing rather than an environmental one?
 
Sali said:
but I mean, what makes you have that presumption? I only ask because my sexuality has alway been quite polar, there was never any questioning about it or anything; girls just always gave me little butterflies in my chest when I was young and then little butterflies in my pants when I was older :D. I mean I suppose this all can come into play when you are very very young but what makes you think it doesn't have the potential to be a biological thing rather than an environmental one?
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Level of success of emotional attachment to same gendered parent, ability to connect with same gendered peers, etc.
 
From what I've read the factor statistically most correlated to homosexuality in males is the number of older brothers a boy had. Sisters are completely irrelavent, as are adopted brothers and half brothers on the father's side. It appears that the only thing that matters is how many males had occupied the same uterus. It should be noted that parts of the placenta do remain in the uterus for years after birth, and the different hormones from carrying a male child can leave lasting changes on a woman's body chemistry that carrying a girl would not. This implies that the sexual orientation is determined by the environment rather than genetics, but that the prenatal environment is much more important than the experiences after birth. It should also be noted that this correlation is reversed in left handed males, who are more likely to be gay if they do not have as many older brothers.


I've also read that there are a few societies that genuinely seem to lack homosexual tendencies altogether. These are all small highly communal bands of hunter gatherers without social expectations of sexual exclusivity, where there is little to no competition within the group. This could imply that homosexuality is favored by highly competitive environments, perhaps to allow some individuals to find niches with less competition. The "good uncle hypothesis" states that homosexuals are beneficial to a family's survival because they can help support their siblings children without competing for resources needed to support their own.
 
magister343 said:
From what I've read the factor statistically most correlated to homosexuality in males is the number of older brothers a boy had. Sisters are completely irrelavent, as are adopted brothers and half brothers on the father's side. It appears that the only thing that matters is how many males had occupied the same uterus. It should be noted that parts of the placenta do remain in the uterus for years after birth, and the different hormones from carrying a male child can leave lasting changes on a woman's body chemistry that carrying a girl would not. This implies that the sexual orientation is determined by the environment rather than genetics, but that the prenatal environment is much more important than the experiences after birth. It should also be noted that this correlation is reversed in left handed males, who are more likely to be gay if they do not have as many older brothers.


I've also read that there are a few societies that genuinely seem to lack homosexual tendencies altogether. These are all small highly communal bands of hunter gatherers without social expectations of sexual exclusivity, where there is little to no competition within the group. This could imply that homosexuality is favored by highly competitive environments, perhaps to allow some individuals to find niches with less competition. The "good uncle hypothesis" states that homosexuals are beneficial to a family's survival because they can help support their siblings children without competing for resources needed to support their own.
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This is all very interesting, but I'm feeling overwhelmed with correlative suppositions. I would argue that the structural framework that demonstrates these correlatives has influenced the outcome and is inherently flawed (i.e. a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy), but I digress. It is certainly an interesting field for speculation though.
 
Skathac said:
Some interesting food for thought there Magister.

I took a test someone posted on these forums maybe a month or so back, it registered my feminine side to be just as apparent as my masculine side. I dunno if this is similar with other male INFJ's, but I've never had any doubts as to my sexual preference...just kinda always knew what felt right with that side of myself. I do feel sad for anyone that does struggle with their sexuality, especially in this cruel world we live in...but I have nothing but respect for people that strive to stay true to themselves.
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I have more women friends then male friends, I seem to relate to women better than to other guys.
 
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