That's What Racism Isn't

Okay.

*Sigh.*

Let's all back up and take a few breaths.

I'm not going to say Sedna's feelings are necessarily wrong. The way she might've portrayed her emotions were strong, but yes, people have felt that way. The way she said it was off-putting. But I understand where her emotions are coming from - and if that's uncomfortable, feel free to PM me about it.

Kwistaline, do you mind if I answer your question?

I would say this: Your response to the six men in question who hurt you is understandable. But it is a prejudiced response, regardless. Yes, you were hurt by six men of the same, identical culture. It's bad luck that it happened so often. But saying every male in that culture will respond the same way is racially motivated fear and it's difficult to break from that mindset.

To partially quote myself in another thread: I might live in Portland, Oregon and get jumped or gangbanged or mugged by several teenaged White guys over a spate of ten years. But that doesn't mean all White men are going to act like that. I just happened to have the bad luck to run into the White men who did.

I'm not discounting your feelings - hear me, okay? I wouldn't say it's difficult. But to base your experiences on a few can demonize the whole and it's hard to explain. But then, I also grew up in a culture separate from my own and I'm not going to have the same cultural references as others.
 
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Persucuting and claiming that anyone who has a differing opinion of yours as racist, is no better then someone being overtly racist.
 
Hmm, this thread turned bad

Let me add fuel to a different fire

I never understood why people think Asians are so attractive, most of them look like they never hit puberty, and their face looks like an ironing board (and breasts), not to mention their eyes are too far apart..

Now, it's not like I don't find any Asians attractive, that is far from the truth, but I generally find them less attractive than other ethnicities.

That said, I wouldn't, not date a girl because she is Asian, but if I didn't find her attractive I wouldn't.
 
I agree with you on the topic, Von Hase.
 
Sithious said:
Hmm, this thread turned bad

Let me add fuel to a different fire

I never understood why people think Asians are so attractive, most of them look like they never hit puberty, and their face looks like an ironing board (and breasts), not to mention their eyes are too far apart..

Now, it's not like I don't find any Asians attractive, that is far from the truth, but I generally find them less attractive than other ethnicities.

That said, I wouldn't, not date a girl because she is Asian, but if I didn't find her attractive I wouldn't.
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I ain't touchin' this one.
 

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Kwistalline said:
My whole point is, is it racism if, over a span of three years, the only people who have ever touched you inappropriately (definition being unasked for and unwanted ass-groping, breast fondling, and hair grabbing) have been six black men? Is my discomfort from racism or sexual harrassment? And some of the times I told a superior, and some of the times I didn't . . . This has NEVER been done to me by ANYONE else.
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From a scientific method standpoint, you CANNOT claim that the color of someone's skin makes them sexual molesters unless you have completed a psychological study. As sad as your situation is- it is just that: YOUR situation- and you cannot generalize to the rest of the world.
There are also a lot of other factors that could have contributed to making those men like that that they could have had in common- you cannot overlook that.

You need to recognize the OTHER factors that made those men like that- rather than the one that is just plain for the eyes to see.
(IE: the group of men may not be "black men" but "men who disrespect women- who believe in very different gender roles and amounts of power" - One cannot lie that, in America, being black tends to go along with Hip-Hop culture- which pushes views of male dominance and aggression and of females as objects. So it is understandable that there would be a large amount of this in young black culture- HOWEVER- not all black people are like this- not even close. But most importantly (in my debate) is that it is only a CORRELATION, a RELATIONSHIP, -so one CANNOT claim causality. Does that make sense?)
The truth is that you DO see the color of their skin and you categorized them as such. But you didn't realize you were doing it.
So yes...that is ignorance, and racism.
But I think if you realize the real causality of the issue and go on to make friend with black men and women who are not like that, you will get over that.
Prejudice is almost always based on our experience (or lack thereof).

Again- I am sorry about your situation.
 
arbygil said:
Okay.

*Sigh.*

Let's all back up and take a few breaths.

I'm not going to say Sedna's feelings are necessarily wrong. The way she might've portrayed her emotions were strong, but yes, people have felt that way. The way she said it was off-putting. But I understand where her emotions are coming from - and if that's uncomfortable, feel free to PM me about it.

Kwistaline, do you mind if I answer your question?

I would say this: Your response to the six men in question who hurt you is understandable. But it is a prejudiced response, regardless. Yes, you were hurt by six men of the same, identical culture. It's bad luck that it happened so often. But saying every male in that culture will respond the same way is racially motivated fear and it's difficult to break from that mindset.

To partially quote myself in another thread: I might live in Portland, Oregon and get jumped or gangbanged or mugged by several teenaged White guys over a spate of ten years. But that doesn't mean all White men are going to act like that. I just happened to have the bad luck to run into the White men who did.

I'm not discounting your feelings - hear me, okay? I wouldn't say it's difficult. But to base your experiences on a few can demonize the whole and it's hard to explain. But then, I also grew up in a culture separate from my own and I'm not going to have the same cultural references as others.
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Arbygil, you can waste time playing mammy to people who can research Japanese cinema, Chinese mythology and whatnot, but somehow need some RANDOM black person on the internet to teach them about other black people.

If you prefer to be reduced and insulted this way, it is your choice. I however find this conversation blasphemous and I will not contribute to this forum on principle. This kind of absurdity, can only be met with absurdity. So YES, my over-the-top response was warranted.
 
Sedna, we have different ways of looking at it so chill. I'm not going to stoop to acting like a tv trope if some folks don't recognize why they're saying what they're saying. I don't think you understand: Folks don't get it so they need to be educated. But if they get it and they still act like asshats, then that's a whole 'nother story.

So give it a rest. The anger approach doesn't do a thing, and I still have energy for dialog.

Instead of the vinegar approach, I'm using honey. Otherwise, I'd do more harm than good.
 
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I think black guys are hot.

Does that make me racist?


...In any case, not everyone associated with a certain ethnicity views someone else of a different ethnicity in a certain way. I personally believe that the first step to destroying racism is an openness and respect on and from BOTH sides -- I understand that there are certain stereotypes associated with certain ethnic groups, and that people have been hurt by others of different ethnic groups. However, when there comes a chance to discuss this openly and respectfully, it is somewhat counter-productive to vent hatred instead.

Not everyone here is racist. In fact, I don't think most people on here legitimately are. The negative attitude, though, will make it much harder for people to sympathize.

My best friend during my stay at the Netherlands was black. I've enjoyed the company of many people of different ethnic groups. And I'm sure I'm not the only one on this site that has.


I'm for turning this thread back to an open and respectful back to real discussion, rather than finger-pointing and name-calling. Let's be mature and do that. Arbygil has the right idea.
 
Sithious said:
Hmm, this thread turned bad

Let me add fuel to a different fire

I never understood why people think Asians are so attractive, most of them look like they never hit puberty, and their face looks like an ironing board (and breasts), not to mention their eyes are too far apart..

Now, it's not like I don't find any Asians attractive, that is far from the truth, but I generally find them less attractive than other ethnicities.

That said, I wouldn't, not date a girl because she is Asian, but if I didn't find her attractive I wouldn't.
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i am not arguing with your preferences in this area as that is personal, but perhaps your description could have been more objective and less derogatory to so many (you used the word, 'most') of a general race.
 
arbygil said:
Sedna, we have different ways of looking at it so chill. I'm not going to stoop to acting like a tv trope if some folks don't recognize why they're saying what they're saying. I don't think you understand: Folks don't get it so they need to be educated. But if they get it and they still act like asshats, then that's a whole 'nother story.

So give it a rest. The anger approach doesn't do a thing, and I still have energy for dialog.

Instead of the vinegar approach, I'm using honey. Otherwise, I'd do more harm than good.
Click to expand...

arbygil, YOU, my dear, are the STEREOTYPE.

Your slave ancestors coddled their ancestors...happily nestling them in their bosoms to protect their owners from harm's way AS A MEANS OF SURVIVAL. I see you're more than happy to carry on the tradition, even though you don't have to.

I have a film recommendation: GONE WITH THE WIND. I bet you and mammy have a lot in common.
 
sedna said:
arbygil, YOU, my dear, are the STEREOTYPE.

Your slave ancestors coddled their ancestors...happily nestling them in their bosoms to protect their owners from harm's way AS A MEANS OF SURVIVAL. I see you're more than happy to carry on the tradition, even though you don't have to.

I have a film recommendation: GONE WITH THE WIND. I bet you and mammy have a lot in common.
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You know what? You just have to get it. I'm sorry you don't. You want to pull the race card, great. See if that works for you. I'm choosing not to, and I'm choosing to walk away from it, because I've heard often enough from other folks who think SHOUTING LOUDLY and HURLING INSULTS will change the situation. It ain't. You'd say the same about MLK, I'm sure.

I'm proud of who I am and this Black ain't rubbing off. But if you want to be the LOUD one, go right ahead and bury yourself.

And when you're banned, don't come back as an alias. And don't bring your friends.
 
sedna said:
arbygil, YOU, my dear, are the STEREOTYPE.

Your slave ancestors coddled their ancestors...happily nestling them in their bosoms to protect their owners from harm's way AS A MEANS OF SURVIVAL. I see you're more than happy to carry on the tradition, even though you don't have to.

I have a film recommendation: GONE WITH THE WIND. I bet you and mammy have a lot in common.
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You're fitting more stereotypes right now than arby ever did, in my opinion.

I don't care what race you are, or what race she is, or what race anyone in this goddamn forum is -- if you can't discuss like a mature, respectful individual, gtfo
 
rainrise said:
i am not arguing with your preferences in this area as that is personal, but perhaps your description could have been more objective and less derogatory to so many (you used the word, 'most') of a general race.
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I wasn't being awfully serious about it, it was a semi joke :o
 
Darn, I missed this!

I wanted to see what Sedna would call me...
 
mf said:
Darn, I missed this!

I wanted to see what Sedna would call me...
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The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be unnatural...
 
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