The deal-breaker

"emotional intelligence" is kind of just like a shorthand way of describing the ability to understand that other people have independent emotional responses, right? no big deal.
 
It's a combination of things. The most common ones would be:

-Intentionally rude or mean
-Confrontational
-Unaccepting and expresses a need to change others
 
Anyone who makes things hard for me.

I also really don't like ugly people, fat is fine, I just hate ugly.
 
I passionately hate short-sightedness. As am economist it drives me even more crazy than the average person because every day I'm analyzing theories about how our economy runs and I have to always keep in mind how a decision affects both the now and the future, no matter how distant. Not to mention I'm very much a long-range planner. So when people think only about how decisions they make will affect them right now it's very much a turn-off for me.
 
Someone who doesn't know how to handle issues; who ducks out when things aren't going perfectly or not willing to work through anything. When things get hard or tough, they ditch. Someone, who doesn't want to put any time or effort into anything, just expect to have things exactly as they want, without any compromise or sacrifice. Someone who wants things to be fun and easy all the time. Someone who doesn't get that a relationship is a team effort, not a hostile takeover.
 
The deal breaker was when my ex said that he didn't care about how I felt, and when I was crying he wouldn't comfort me. If we fought, he never apologized.

In basic terminology, he never manned up, he never fully engaged me in the relationship.
 
Smoking
Bad hygiene
Doesn't like kids or animals
Not spiritual
Very extrovert
Anger issues
Closed minded
Not interested in learning new things
Controlling
 
I can deal with a lot of crap in a relationship, but what I am thankful for pushing 40 for is that my life experience has allowed me to narrow this list down to two simple things.

1) I will never be a door mat. If I am treated as such, kiss my ass on the way out the door.

2) Religion. The differences in beliefs can drastically fuck up a relationship. I do not believe in god, I am a not-so-devout Buddhist. Ironically, my husband is struggling with his beliefs. He is a Christian, yet as an INTJ, he also can't deny the irrationality of it. This, more than money, has been the thing we fuss about the most.

My relationships in the past were with a variety of people with different beliefs. Christians unfortunately did not see eye to eye with me and were the most judgmental of my own beliefs (or lack thereof). I am sorry to any Christians I will undoubtedly offend with that, but I am speaking of the Christians I dated in the past. I was happiest with either another "casual buddhist" or an atheist.

I am raising my children with the freedom to choose for themselves what their religious beliefs will be and will support them in their decision.
 
I guess a deal breaker for me is that sort of intuitive uh-oh that happens inevitably in every relationship. You know, that little sign that becomes a big sign that becomes a big giant truck over your pinky toe. That being said, I feel I need to get past that or else...forever single?
 
childish handwriting
chewing gum
does not practise listening skills
always right
unnaturally overscrupulous elocution
dirty fingernails
hairy ears
moustache

doing this amuses me way too much. i have this badmember compulsion to post the same things again and again.
 
pushy, overly aggressive
never takes no for an answer
doesn't respect other's opinions but their own
insists they are always right
can't enjoy simple things
 
Gist said:
pushy, overly aggressive
never takes no for an answer
doesn't respect other's opinions but their own
insists they are always right
can't enjoy simple things
Click to expand...

people who will not take no are definitely not worth the trouble.

the simple things are every bit as good as the finer things, i think.
 
Jealousy
Neediness
Shortsightedness
Carelessness
Laziness
Irresponsibility
Stupidity
Loud
Obnoxious
 
[MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] uh-oh, I guess we can never be then because I have childish handwriting, ha! It's not bubble writing with hearts for dots or anything, but it's been described as "crazy white guy" handwriting (whatever that means) or simply illegible and "messy". I have preferred typing since I was 11.

Another deal breaker, in addition to lack of curiosity, is dislike of animals. Yes, those strange people exist. I don't mean animal abuser sickos (it goes without saying that they get the no of course). I mean the type of person who gets unduly skeeved out by a few cat hairs and cannot appreciate a drooly dog cuddle. There's no future with them, none.
 
PintoBean said:
[MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] uh-oh, I guess we can never be then because I have childish handwriting, ha! It's not bubble writing with hearts for dots or anything, but it's been described as "crazy white guy" handwriting (whatever that means) or simply illegible and "messy"...
Click to expand...

Also known as Doctor's handwriting. :p

<3
 
PintoBean said:
@invisible uh-oh, I guess we can never be then because I have childish handwriting, ha! It's not bubble writing with hearts for dots or anything, but it's been described as "crazy white guy" handwriting (whatever that means) or simply illegible and "messy". I have preferred typing since I was 11.

Another deal breaker, in addition to lack of curiosity, is dislike of animals. Yes, those strange people exist. I don't mean animal abuser sickos (it goes without saying that they get the no of course). I mean the type of person who gets unduly skeeved out by a few cat hairs and cannot appreciate a drooly dog cuddle. There's no future with them, none.
Click to expand...

yeah sorry but you are officially demoted from potential match status. i really thought we had something, but i truly require a calligraphic handwriting style. sorry!! we can still be friends.

animals are cool.
 
Cruel to animals/humans/life
Dishonest/untrustworthy
Lack of aspiration/goals
Smelly like after-asparagus pee
Ownership of a real penis (attached or otherwise:()

There are other things but that's what came to mind.
 
invisible said:
yeah sorry but you are officially demoted from potential match status. i really thought we had something, but i truly require a calligraphic handwriting style. sorry!! we can still be friends.

animals are cool.
Click to expand...

:m077: Say it isn't so!
 
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