Unhealthy INFJ

[Motor Jax]

My husband considers himself very lucky to be married to someone with an aversion to the mall! I'm the one being dragged there and he knows when we go it will be get in, get the stuff and get out!

combat shopper, all the way

my ex would take (drag) me out to malls and stores, kicking and screaming that i really, really did not want to go out.. and then wonder why i would get snappy with her... cause i had already told her my boundaries, but she never listened to me...

 

[HenRick]

I don't expect to be prefect, or life to be fair, or sadness to not fall occasionally, or myself to fit in.

That's pretty funny considering you mispelled perfect when saying your not perfect.
It proved the point.

I think I will use that stragity gokartride if I'm in a tough spot.

Off topic: is Gokatride have to do with anything from DragonBall Z "Goku".

 

[gokartride]

That's pretty funny considering you mispelled perfect when saying your not perfect.
It proved the point.

Yes, I may know how to spell but my delivery is tragically off. A sad metaphor for my entire life, really.

As for OT....I'm on MINI Cooper #2!!!

 

[HenRick]

That's pretty funny considering you mispelled perfect when saying your not perfect.
It proved the point.

Yes, I may know how to spell but my delivery is tragically off. A sad metaphor for my entire life, really.

As for OT....I'm on MINI Cooper #2!!!

What !?! :|


I don't get it.
What does MINI Cooper have to do with this.
What do you mean #2 you have two?

 

[SoraKage]

Mini Cooper has to do with their name. go-kart ride.

 

[gokartride]

What do you mean #2 you have two?

Yes, there are two MINIs parked outside....my '03 and my '07. The '03 is now my daughters. Both drive like go-karts...great fun and always a bright spot in my day!!

 

[Satya]

I'm unhealthy whenever I let my passion and my desire to be right gain control over my reason.

 

[sumone]

I'm unhealthy when I deny my intuition.

 

[tereza]

I don't think I've ever met another INFJ let alone an unhealthy one, but I found this while googling about INTJs
http://community.livejournal.com/intj/105082.html

I'll just quote the parts about the immature INFJ, but I think the rest of the blog is rather insightful.

My mother is a good example of a mature INFJ and a woman whom I will call EIOKILU (aka Everything Is OK, I Love You) is a good example of an immature INFJ...

EIOKILU is likeable and cheerful and warm when you first meet her. She will be very interested in you and even if she doesn't like you it is unlikely that you will know it. She will smile at you until her stress level gets too high then she will blow up. In the long term, you will eventually learn that her attitude will change periodically from "I am totally in control of my life and can do anything" to "the world is out to get me, I'm doomed". She invests her whole future and well being in whatever she is into right now. All or nothing. The way she does it encourages you to care for her and encourage her... until you realize that she is doing most of it to herself and can't seem to talk about anything without relating it back to herself. She's conflict avoidant (until she blows up), passive-aggressive, with a very external loci of control, complains endlessly, and she idealizes overly. She will do what feels good right now even when she knows it is bad for her and justifies it as being out of her control. When I brought problems in our relationship to her attention I got the "Everything is OK, I love you" with a side order of "I understand" and a full gluttony of justification, excuses, and professions of caring. I gave her a small list of what I needed in order to stay in the friendship, she promised to do them then disappeared for months. I walked. She occassionally whines to mutual friends about missing me and how I don't call her anymore (she doesn't call me).

 

[sumone]

Some of that is scarily similar to me. I did the blowing up thing yesterday at work and even just about cried a couple of times. We were working a skeleton crew that day so my boss was the receiver of all my pent up emotion, anger, pity party, eff you ... it was quite the day
And then he gets mad at me and says, "Why do you do this? Get yourself all worked up and hold everything in until you can't take it anymore! You've got to say these things as they happen! Why don't you?"
"Because you should just KNOW these things."
And he doesn't argue because he knows we're both right and we're both wrong.
I'm tired today after all of that drama and he and I kind of avoided each other for the most part.
I was somewhat embarassed about my begging for appreciation but it definitely cleared the air.
But I did 'blow'. I guess that does describe an INFJ displaying an unhealthy aspect.

 

[Elizabeth]

I can't really watch the news either, etc. And sometimes when I have too much negativity around me, I can lose control and become really depressed. I wish I could help the whole world but I can't, and it gives me an unbearable feeling of frustration and helplessness. That's probably the unhealty side of me. It's definitely unhealthy for myself, at least.

I know the feeling. I don't watch the news on TV, but I do read a lot of newspapers, and they overwhelm me. Lately, I can't stop thinking about the horrible possibility - and likely outcome - of a war with Iran. It's why I haven't been here much lately.

 

[cheta]

What's the most negative example of an INFJ you've encountered?

If you're an INFJ, how do you act when under a lot of pressure/stress?

I would like to think that I'm good working under pressure, but I know I'm not. :shock: Not when the pressure comes from wanting to fulfil the expectations of people around me... I'll eventually give up and feel depressed over my 'lack of abilities'. I get overwhelmed very easily by my emotions. At work, I need to try doubly hard to make sure that I don't cry in front of my colleagues when I'm stressed!

I've come to realise over the years that the pressure will only work when the motivations come from within me... Strangely, I delight in the 'surprise' factor. I like to work quietly on my goals (towards a scholarship, good grades, job achievements etc) and the thought of 'surprising' my friends and family with the results, motivates me.

I'm mad...

 

[firehotemily]

What's the most negative example of an INFJ you've encountered?

If you're an INFJ, how do you act when under a lot of pressure/stress?

i don't know any INFJ's...i dont think lol

how would i act? like i do now....agressive...and put out my point i would be blunt, i wouldn't beat around the bush because i'm afraid to offend anyone, heck i wouldn't even care about how they feel. lol if you've been stressed out or pressured for over half a year and feel like your completely going to explode from the inside out...yeah you'd probably act like me to xD
but...i still try to be kind to others...usually xD
but it's just the fact that it's almost to overbearing to help others at the moment it's like emotion overload...i have to help myself before i help others.
lol...i have chronic stress....and so any small or rude comment, it makes me go mad xD i yell back and stomp away...or if i'm at school and someone was a jerk, i hold it in and basically take it out on my family if they say the slightest thing wrong.
yeah xD not good
but it's the truth.
and in the end i realize what i did and i feel absolutely horrible, making me stress out even more...so it's like a vicious circle...never ending.

 

[VChosenOne]

I am totally there on the mall thing as well!

and as an INFJ who is going through some inner turmoil I can be very negative and everything is an insult and feel guilty about everything...the introvert in me takes over and I become sort of like a recluse and never leave home..Normal social situations are a stressful thought sometimes just going into work gives me a panic attack. There is an inherent hopelessness about me that i cant seem to ever shake..somedays i feel LOST...

I feel like that daily. I have to prepare my mind to go out to do things. I just had to go grocery shopping and I just did not want to leave my home. I am sure to some point I am agoraphobic. Yet some days if a friend says hey lets go and do this..I am up for it. I really enjoy being home.

I do pretty well in stressful situations.

 

[v.shadow]

mm....I'd say I'm the most generally unhealthy INFJ I've ever known (well, I'm the only INFJ I know, but I say this judging by this forum). I can get depressed easily, and when I get frustrated or regret something I get really down (though most of the times it's something stupid) but later start asking myself things like how much importance should I give to my problem and after that I just alternate between episodes of anger, indifference, amusement and saddness, which confuses all the people around me (so they start asking what's wrong with me and trying to "help", but in fact this makes the situation worse for me).
other thing is, I can get radical about my emotions. sometimes I just detach from them, and other times my emotions control all of me.

For me, I attempt to be polite as all hell. Its the utmost importance for me to not offend a stranger or associate, but when it comes to family, I sometimes don't have control over my stress or anger. What I do that is considered offensive to many people is, I try to force in depth conversations out of people. I want to know their opinions. I want to know what they know. Unfortunately, some personalities aren't prepared for that and they will take the strive for a debate as offensive. I also try to fight for the little guy a lot. So when there is a mass upsetting at say, a work place, I won't let something happen without a fight. That doesn't help me in the work field... so what if you aren't allowed to read a book, or stand at your desk instead of sit... It just bothers me when people forget the human factor. I just wish many others knew how important everyone is and how important it is for them to be unique, but then I do the same thing as them, and I feel like slapping myself. It's always felt kind of like a lonely struggle for me.

also, ditto to all of this

 

[H8s7e1LKOp9]

I'm pretty shy and I hate it. I always analyze social situations too much and they don't feel natural. This is only when meeting strangers.

Also, the spontaneous side of me led me to join the military which I really hate. I'll be out in 2 years thank God!

 

[bs98r3kjf]

I'm pretty shy and I hate it. I always analyze social situations too much and they don't feel natural. This is only when meeting strangers.

Also, the spontaneous side of me led me to join the military which I really hate. I'll be out in 2 years thank God!

Yeah a lot of us feel that way too. I know a lot of people that joined the military and regretted it for ethical reasons. It's not something easy but feel free to talk to us about it here.

By the way, welcome to infj forum, Kamel. You can make an introduction thread in the Introduction section if you like.

 

[Zero]

Unhealthy INFJ? Well, I could say that when I'm unhealthy I tend to go a little crazy with writing. Anything that's on my mind I tend to put into the most beautifully articulate, albeit a bit dark, words.

I find that writing is what typically helps me to calm myself, if only for a moment. I vocalize inside my mind often, wondering why some people seem so heartless, and yet why I love them so. Writing helps to get that vocalization out into the open, and the better I portray those feelings to writing, the more it seems that I know myself. Like reading the book of my life.

I notice when I actually force myself to do something important, even something small like doing the dishes, that I feel better. I internalize a lot of the emotional grief that I have, so most people on the outside don't realize that behind my smile is someone else.

I have a bad habit of blaming myself for just about any problem I can think of also...

 

[Zanshin]

I think INFJs have such a large scale for each emotion compared to everyone else, that when the emotion is in it's extremes, it can get ugly for oneself and others. In other words, INFJs feel emotions hard, which on the negative side of an emotion, can be detrimental to the health of the INFJ and others.

 

[Zero]

I think INFJs have such a large scale for each emotion compared to everyone else, that when the emotion is in it's extremes, it can get ugly for oneself and others. In other words, INFJs feel emotions hard, which on the negative side of an emotion, can be detrimental to the health of the INFJ and others.

I have absolutely no reason not to agree.