What are your turn offs?

[IndigoSensor]

Sometimes also, I can ask someone what they aspire with their life, or future plans - and they go hmm I don't have any.

That truthfully makes me mad. When someone says that. I sort of take it upon myself to make them come up with some kind of plan. I am such a planned out person that I NEED to know the future. It simply drives me crazy when people don't know, or worse don't care. It legitimatly makes me mad. Nevertheless, I am normally not surprized by the kind of people who are like that, and already have an adversion to them to begin with.

 

[Cuddle Donor]

*Prudishness
*Selfishness
*Obnoxiousness
*Cockiness (as opposed to humility)
*Competitiveness (as opposed to diplomacy)
*Uptightness(?)
*Stubbornness
*Spitefulness
*Loch Ness

 

[Pristinegirl]

That truthfully makes me mad. When someone says that. I sort of take it upon myself to make them come up with some kind of plan. I am such a planned out person that I NEED to know the future. It simply drives me crazy when people don't know, or worse don't care. It legitimatly makes me mad. Nevertheless, I am normally not surprized by the kind of people who are like that, and already have an adversion to them to begin with.

hahah I'm exactly the same way. I will bring it upon myself as well haha and try to impose a plan and ask them if they have anything in their life that they love to do. When I get that respond from people it is like a punch in the face, like WHAT? YOU DON'T KNOW and WORSE, DON'T CARE. I become an Insaniac xD

 

[Pristinegirl]

*Prudishness
*Selfishness
*Obnoxiousness
*Cockiness (as opposed to humility)
*Competitiveness (as opposed to diplomacy)
*Uptightness(?)
*Stubbornness
*Spitefulness
*Loch Ness

Loch Ness haha?

 

[Zero Angel]

- Obese (50% of women probably think they're obese, but only 5% are)
- Mean spirited (bluntness is somewhat a turn on but finding other peoples suffering funny isnt)
- Bad hygeine (esp. breath when it comes to kissing, and vaginal hygeine when it comes to ummm, oral stuff)
- Willful ignorance
- Lack of depth (EN's possess a different kind of depth that I like too)
- Lack of general honesty/integrity
- Strong dislike of personal closeness / lack of responsiveness
- People with multiple heads (definitely a deal breaker!)

 

[lazyhappy]

Oh I'm sorry although 'stupid' to a T is different from that to an F...
I take it as a pike against me, not initially, but I'm so used to T's thinking this about me.
'Stop being so happy, loud and cheerful...' and because what I say may seem completely irrational, I am stupid. So I will try stick to my opinion because I feel so strongly about it and so then I am 'obnoxious'.

I didnt mean to offend you . Maybe I was to blunt... well I know I was too blunt... I was in a mood so i didnt think much when I posted

From what i saw of your posts, your are not "stupid, loud or obnoxious". '

I was thinking more about like that stupid "wangster" kid next to me in history when i posted earlier... He seems to have a hate for woman, gays and other races and has to keep boasting about that the whole damn period... and that is what obnoxious, stupid and loud is for me...

I know its a bit childish for such bluntness and anger, so my deepest apologies.

This might be random and might not apply so much but oh well:

honestly, Ts arnt so black and white as you seem to think. For example, I think life is about happiness. So i am not the one to judge someone based on enjoying life and call them ignorant. If there is anyone that did, I would call them ignorant...
Anway, happiness is all that matters in the long run. It doesnt matter if you are the smartest or the most logical, for who gives a crap in the end? You could be the most intelligent guy, but would still be miserable. thats no life at all.

Be it as it may, I hold that philosophy, its not like I can change my personality...

Anyway I thought about it, and decided to redefine my turn offs. Its not "obnoxious, loud and stupid" that "turns me off", it's closed-mindedness and untolerence to others lifestyle, beliefs, race, sexuality and etc... its just gets me too fired up.

 

[Pristinegirl]

I didnt mean to offend you . Maybe I was to blunt... well I know I was too blunt... I was in a mood so i didnt think much when I posted

I'm afraid I have to say I'm sorry as well happy because I realise its not you who hurt me, it's the memories of those who have said so specifically to me (maybe purposefully) and in turn hurt me.

From what i saw of your posts, your are not "stupid, loud or obnoxious". '
I was thinking more about like that stupid "wangster" kid next to me in history when i posted earlier... He seems to have a hate for woman, gays and other races and has to keep boasting about that the whole damn period... and that is what obnoxious, stupid and loud is for me...

You are not childish in a bad way, rather the opposite you seem very mature and intelligent - emotionally too.

This might be random and might not apply so much but oh well:

honestly, Ts arnt so black and white as you seem to think. For example, I think life is about happiness. So i am not the one to judge someone based on enjoying life and call them ignorant. If there is anyone that did, I would call them ignorant...
Anway, happiness is all that matters in the long run. It doesnt matter if you are the smartest or the most logical, for who gives a crap in the end? You could be the most intelligent guy, but would still be miserable. thats no life at all.

You know I am so glad you said this, it conforms what I just came to realise the other day after a therapy session. (My therapist is definetly an ST. You speak with such wisdom and I believe you are right, how old are you ? =)

Be it as it may is my philosphy now too ^^

Anyway I thought about it, and decided to redefine my turn offs. Its not "obnoxious, loud and stupid" that "turns me off", it's closed-mindedness and untolerence to others lifestyle, beliefs, race, sexuality and etc... its just gets me too fired up.

I didn't mean to inflict change on your turn offs, although redefining them into that of more significance just like you did was positive! ^^ I like to think that if someone says stupid things, is loud and obnoxious (i have a stereotype in mind) then I agree with you actually. Although like with hypersensitive people like me (sorry xD) it is easy to take it to literally, which I realise now when I am rational. Thanks for having patience with me.

 

[lazyhappy]

I'm afraid I have to say I'm sorry as well happy because I realise its not you who hurt me, it's the memories of those who have said so specifically to me (maybe purposefully) and in turn hurt me.

You are not childish in a bad way, rather the opposite you seem very mature and intelligent - emotionally too.

You have no reason to be sorry . It's understandable. You've been hurt and insulted with words that I previously used. And also thanks . You seem very intelligent as well and you shouldnt let others tell you otherwise :/... even if that person is yourself. (though I dont know the details so... yeah )

You know I am so glad you said this, it conforms what I just came to realise the other day after a therapy session. (My therapist is definetly an ST. You speak with such wisdom and I believe you are right, how old are you ? =)

Be it as it may is my philosphy now too ^^

Lol i go to therapy too! . Mine is, i believe, an INFJ or ENFJ. And I'm 17 ^^

I didn't mean to inflict change on your turn offs, although redefining them into that of more significance just like you did was positive! ^^ I like to think that if someone says stupid things, is loud and obnoxious (i have a stereotype in mind) then I agree with you actually. Although like with hypersensitive people like me (sorry xD) it is easy to take it to literally, which I realise now when I am rational. Thanks for having patience with me

Ah nah, by what you said, I thought more deeply about it. I realised that before I sounded like an ass. So, really, I'm thanking you for patience with me .

 

[Pristinegirl]

You have no reason to be sorry . It's understandable. You've been hurt and insulted with words that I previously used. And also thanks . You seem very intelligent as well and you shouldnt let others tell you otherwise :/... even if that person is yourself. (though I dont know the details so... yeah )

Hahaha you made me so happy ^^ You don't know the details but still you make a vaild observation! Now so you are a T, I don't know if it is my attitude that has changed or if you are exceptionally nice. Anyway this week has been mentally relaxing for me and I feel good about myself and what is to come. See, I'm on a break from school and still I have learned so much in therapy and on here. Maybe, dare I say, that school even limits our range of knowledge on the spectrum. ^^

Lol i go to therapy too! . Mine is, i believe, an INFJ or ENFJ. And I'm 17 ^^

REALLY haha we are both 17 and go to therapy *yaay* Initially I used to have big problems with my therapist, because I thought he was cold and evil, but then I realised that he is exactly what I need: A non-empathizing, distant, doubting and cold person whome I have to face and confront. This is because in real life, those are the ones who bring me down. So I thought I'd use it to my advantage rather than struggle upwind. So is your therapist good for you? ^^

Ah nah, by what you said, I thought more deeply about it. I realised that before I sounded like an ass. So, really, I'm thanking you for patience with me .

This tug of peace between us is charming haha. I say we are even and both came out better than before.

 

[lazyhappy]

Hahaha you made me so happy ^^ You don't know the details but still you make a vaild observation! Now so you are a T, I don't know my attitude that has changed or if you are exceptionally nice. Anyway this week has if it is been mentally relaxing for me and I feel good about myself and what is to come. See, I'm on a break from school and still I have learned so much in therapy and on here. Maybe, dare I say, that school even limits our range of knowledge on the spectrum. ^^

Lol lucky! I wish I was on break XD. I think I have 2 more weeks till I get one from school T-T. And ironically maybe school does to some level. XP

REALLY haha we are both 17 and go to therapy *yaay* Initially I used to have big problems with my therapist, because I thought he was cold and evil, but then I realised that he is exactly what I need: A non-empathizing, distant, doubting and cold person whome I have to face and confront. This is because in real life, those are the ones who bring me down. So I thought I'd use it to my advantage rather than struggle upwind. So is your therapist good for you? ^^

Thats cool how since his personality contrasts yours, it actually helps you more. It's very interestying how that works :}

Honestly, I love my therapist (Not to sound creepy). I just think she is really good and expecially really good for me. Though I was quite uncomfortable with her in the beginning. I first started to go to her during 8th grade, I believe. I was convinced I didnt care about anything, that i wasnt depressed and that I was basically a brick wall (The "unhealthy T", my mom labeled it). I couldnt talk to her for weeks... maybe even months. I just sat thier in silence while my mom and my sister confessed their issues... but she was patient and understood that in order for me to talk, I needed to trust her first =.= (thats my main problem- a trust issue)
Eventually over time, she loosened me up and I felt more comfort and eventually started to share. :} She taught me alot
Sorry for the details. just no one asked before lol. How long have you been seeing your theripist?

This tug of peace between us is charming haha. I say we are even and both came out better than before.

Lol yush, it is nice :} and I agree. Though we kinda swayed away from the "turn off" topic lol XD.

 

[Pristinegirl]

Thats cool how since his personality contrasts yours, it actually helps you more. It's very interestying how that works :}

Honestly, I love my therapist (Not to sound creepy). I just think she is really good and expecially really good for me. Though I was quite uncomfortable with her in the beginning. I first started to go to her during 8th grade, I believe. I was convinced I didnt care about anything, that i wasnt depressed and that I was basically a brick wall (The "unhealthy T", my mom labeled it). I couldnt talk to her for weeks... maybe even months. I just sat thier in silence while my mom and my sister confessed their issues... but she was patient and understood that in order for me to talk, I needed to trust her first =.= (thats my main problem- a trust issue)
Eventually over time, she loosened me up and I felt more comfort and eventually started to share. :} She taught me alot
Sorry for the details. just no one asked before lol. How long have you been seeing your theripist?

Your mom labeled it well, and the brick wall is the perfect metaphor, which also reminds me of Pink Floyd by the way. And don't worry about being detailed, I love details and I think its nice to hear other peoples experiences. Furthermore, I think it sounds like a succesful therapy story Although do you ever feel sort of distressed thinking that you will have to stop going to therapy? or if your therapist is retiring soon?

Ahhh thank you so much for asking and I feel so relieved to the fact that you have seen your therapist for that long haha. Because I was really unsure about saying it before. I have been seeing him for like 3 years.
See, the first 2 years were hell. I told him everything, mostly because I felt obliged to, not because I was secure. Also I wanted him to understand me, as I often would feel like an outcast (surrounded by ST's) because I was different. Though guess what, as a fragile and vulnerble person I can be, he was one of them. So I would open up my inner feelings from deep inside my heart and he merely would comment on the irrationality of my dreams, feelings and problems of my thought pattern. So of course I would take it personally and become even more sad. (Sorry for mixing past-present tense haha. It's because I don't know if it still applies)

Although lately he would become more gentle with what he is saying and be sure to use words with care, in a way so that I don't misinterpret them but still be straight forward. Also nowadays, he lowers himself from the slightly arrogant proffesional level to that of a feeling level such as mine. Especially this week was great for me, honestly I love him ^^ and I cannot merely think that he only looks upon me 'as one of his many patients'! So as you can see we did not get along at all at first and it took us about 3 years to generally learn to cooperate on a level, which both can accept. My attitude has changed and I think his has too.

Lol yush, it is nice :} and I agree. Though we kinda swayed away from the "turn off" topic lol XD.

Haha yeah more like turn on now. However, the moderators are great and generally don't become too mad about it ^^

 

[bs98r3kjf]

Bad hygiene
Arrogance
Cruelty
Superficiality

 

[lazyhappy]

Your mom labeled it well, and the brick wall is the perfect metaphor, which also reminds me of Pink Floyd by the way. And don't worry about being detailed, I love details and I think its nice to hear other peoples experiences. Furthermore, I think it sounds like a succesful therapy story Although do you ever feel sort of distressed thinking that you will have to stop going to therapy? or if your therapist is retiring soon?

Ahhh thank you so much for asking and I feel so relieved to the fact that you have seen your therapist for that long haha. Because I was really unsure about saying it before. I have been seeing him for like 3 years.
See, the first 2 years were hell. I told him everything, mostly because I felt obliged to, not because I was secure. Also I wanted him to understand me, as I often would feel like an outcast (surrounded by ST's) because I was different. Though guess what, as a fragile and vulnerble person I can be, he was one of them. So I would open up my inner feelings from deep inside my heart and he merely would comment on the irrationality of my dreams, feelings and problems of my thought pattern. So of course I would take it personally and become even more sad. (Sorry for mixing past-present tense haha. It's because I don't know if it still applies)

Although lately he would become more gentle with what he is saying and be sure to use words with care, in a way so that I don't misinterpret them but still be straight forward. Also nowadays, he lowers himself from the slightly arrogant proffesional level to that of a feeling level such as mine. Especially this week was great for me, honestly I love him ^^ and I cannot merely think that he only looks upon me 'as one of his many patients'! So as you can see we did not get along at all at first and it took us about 3 years to generally learn to cooperate on a level, which both can accept. My attitude has changed and I think his has too.



Haha yeah more like turn on now. However, the moderators are great and generally don't become too mad about it ^^

ah I love Pink Floyd . I actually watched that movie recently.

Lol that made me relieved as well. I felt like a weirdo. I'm glad to see their are others that have been in therapy for so long .
Hm... well I dont think I'm so afraid anymore about leaving therapy. I think I am at the point of being ok... though I still have that social anxiety >.>... but it wasnt as bad as it used to be.



And I understand what you mean about feeling obliged a bit. Another problem I had in therapy was the fact I felt like I had to say something, which forced me into a battle with myself. Even when I began to trust my therapist and my brick-wall apearence started to gather cracks, I still had trouble talking to her. First, I didn't know what to say and second, if anything did pop up, I don't know why, but I had a prolem saying it or putting words to it ("it" being feelings I think). It felt like something tied it down or kept trying to swallow it. I think that is due to my mind trying so hard to "feel nothing", that it suppressed everything to the core. (sorry if I'm not making sence)

Thats really awesome that you and your therapist both learned something. Makes me wonder if mine learned anything while with me. :/.

I remember when I first started to like my therapist. She told me this one story (she shared about herself before I shared about me >.>...) about this one girl... but ... eh. it doesnt really matter . I think I rambled too much in this post lol

 

[Pristinegirl]

ah I love Pink Floyd . I actually watched that movie recently.

O M G hahah I love PINK FLOYD TOO, and it is one of the best MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN. Soo much symbolic meaning and the music, wow lets not even go there. Some say it is so weird, somehow on the contrary I find it is relatable ^^

Lol that made me relieved as well. I felt like a weirdo. I'm glad to see their are others that have been in therapy for so long .

Haha this is funny. You totally interacted while I hid ralking about the therapy length lol when I'm supposed to be the extrovert and you the introvert here hihi ?

Hm... well I dont think I'm so afraid anymore about leaving therapy. I think I am at the point of being ok... though I still have that social anxiety >.>... but it wasnt as bad as it used to be.

Glad you are okay and that it got better. I have a question though, doesnt social anxiety go together slightly with introversion? In my case I have learned several tecniques to cope with anxiety as well although sometimes I find myself reluctant to use them :/ I have always had great issues on presentations in front of the class... So damn distressing...

The reason I'm asking is because the thought of never seeing my therapist again makes me feel unokay, partially because he will retire in like 6 months. He may see me as an object to his job whereas I see him with a heart no matter what you know :/

And I understand what you mean about feeling obliged a bit. Another problem I had in therapy was the fact I felt like I had to say something, which forced me into a battle with myself. Even when I began to trust my therapist and my brick-wall apearence started to gather cracks, I still had trouble talking to her. First, I didn't know what to say and second, if anything did pop up, I don't know why, but I had a prolem saying it or putting words to it ("it" being feelings I think). It felt like something tied it down or kept trying to swallow it. I think that is due to my mind trying so hard to "feel nothing", that it suppressed everything to the core. (sorry if I'm not making sence)

Tare down the brick wall, whatever you do don't let it remain. Believe me when I say that like now, your expressive radiance is much more beautiful than a dull brick wall ^^. I might misinterpret but I feel somehow like I know what you mean, when you cannot be coherent on explaining how you feel, what you think, your mentality or even what is happening with you. Oh my that feeling of surpression and inferiority. When your body gives you the feeling of disgust and sadness because you cannot spit it out even though you so desperately wish you could. (sorry if I missinterpreted xD)

Also don't worry about not learning anything from each other. It may not have been intentionally but believe me every single session you have had has changed the both of you slightly ^^

I remember when I first started to like my therapist. She told me this one story (she shared about herself before I shared about me >.>...) about this one girl... but ... eh. it doesnt really matter . I think I rambled too much in this post lol

Oh but please tell me, you got me really curious haha. My therapist also have told me stories about himself too haha, in which I could relate to.

 

[lazyhappy]

O M G hahah I love PINK FLOYD TOO, and it is one of the best MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN. Soo much symbolic meaning and the music, wow lets not even go there. It is so relatable ^^.

I know! Lol and dont for get the art (like the flowers turning into beasts). That movie is awesome xD!

Haha this is funny. You totally interacted while I hid ralking about the therapy length lol when I'm supposed to be the extrovert and you the introvert here hihi ?

o.o.... v.v... >.>... lol I know o.o. What if I am ENTP and I didn't know it!
Lol or I just got excited because I met someone else who goes to therapy to (hoping its this one <--- XD) I dont want my Ne first T-T... though I do love ENTPs...

Glad you are okay and that it got better. I have a question though, doesnt social anxiety go together slightly with introversion? In my case I have learned several tecniques to cope with anxiety as well although sometimes I find myself reluctant to use them :/ I have always had great issues on presentations in front of the class... So damn distressing...

The reason I'm asking is because the thought of never seeing my therapist again makes me feel unokay, partially because he will retire in like 6 months. He may see me as an object to his job whereas I see him with a heart no matter what you know :/

Hm... that's a good question. I'd think it would correlate with introversion, looking at introverts traits. Though I think anyone can really get it at some time or another :/...Though of course, I'm unsure. You learned techniques? hm... are they easy to do?

And I'm really sorry . when I actually think more about her retiring, I think I would miss her as well.

I might misinterpret this but I feel somehow like I know what you mean, when you cannot be coherent on explaining how you feel, what you think, your mentality or even what is happening with you. Oh my that feeling of surpression and inferiority. When your body gives you the feeling of disgust and sadness because you cannot spit it out even though you so desperately wish you could. (sorry if I missinterpreted xD)

Also don't worry about not learning anything from each other. It may not have been intentionally but believe me every single session you have had has changed the both of you slightly ^^

Honestly I don't quite understand it myself but I think you interpreted it right . In fact it got me thinking more about how it could be because I felt inferior as well .

Oh but please tell me, you got me really curious haha. My therapist also have told me stories about himself too haha, in which I could relate to

Well it's kinda off topic and quite embaressing saying it because well... I feel like a weirdo =.-
anyway, this story really wasnt about herself this time but what she said made me start to doubt my apathy towards everything and plus it made think of her as quite interesting... :/

She told me this story about this girl. She was born into a wealthy family. This girl grew up, became a model, married and one day obtained a daughter. She had a good life.

But one day, on her daughter's 6th birthday, something happened. As she looked upon her young daughter that morning, she just broke down. It turns out that memories from her past resurfaced within her or something. She remembered now that at the age of 6, she was raped by her father.

To why she just remembered then was due to the fact that her mind went into self-defence for all those years. It kept her safe and out of pain so she could function. It was really a sad story ... sorry...


But I just found it facinating that one's mind has the power of compressing such pain for so long. It has like a mind of its own... I'm such a nerd XP

 

[Pristinegirl]

I know! Lol and dont for get the art (like the flowers turning into beasts). That movie is awesome xD!

o.o.... v.v... >.>... lol I know o.o. What if I am ENTP and I didn't know it!
Lol or I just got excited because I met someone else who goes to therapy to (hoping its this one <--- XD) I dont want my Ne first T-T... though I do love ENTPs...

Haha the art is great, the concept is great and everything with it! ^^
Hahahaha its a good day to be alive, if I could chose I would be an ESTP although I would probably think otherwise if I really was. Like those with curly hair want straight hair and the other way around! Ne is not that bad although I see what you mean

You know, I hope you can understand what I am trying to convey now because I am not so coherent: I find it interesting that you have a side which resembles what we understand as being 'a brick wall' right. In my case, I feel like just 'a brick in the wall', a surpressed one fighting to distinguish myself from the rest. Hoping to matter by doing so.

Hm... that's a good question. I'd think it would correlate with introversion, looking at introverts traits. Though I think anyone can really get it at some time or another :/...Though of course, I'm unsure. You learned techniques? hm... are they easy to do?

And I'm really sorry . when I actually think more about her retiring, I think I would miss her as well.

Yes it feels really strange you know, because it is supposed to be strictly proffesional but how can it be when I feel for this person you know. It is still a relationship.

Yes one is a breathing excersise, because those with anxiety tend to breath very short and many breaths. So we do not get enough air.
Simply breathe DEEPLY through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this a coupple of times like before you go to sleep or when you wake up or something. (You may feel lightheaded at first but apparently its normal)

I am not sure if Everyone goes through it, I have seen the worst of them worst I would say who don't ever show weakness. Although I think most do, more or less.

She told me this story about this girl. She was born into a wealthy family. This girl grew up, became a model, married and one day obtained a daughter. She had a good life.

But one day, on her daughter's 6th birthday, something happened. As she looked upon her young daughter that morning, she just broke down. It turns out that memories from her past resurfaced within her or something. She remembered now that at the age of 6, she was raped by her father.

To why she just remembered then was due to the fact that her mind went into self-defence for all those years. It kept her safe and out of pain so she could function. It was really a sad story ... sorry...

But I just found it facinating that one's mind has the power of compressing such pain for so long. It has like a mind of its own... I'm such a nerd XP

Wow definetly powerful, amazing what horrendous things can be repressed within the mind. That was an excellent example of repression and it really touched my heart. Repression is a defence mechanism but in the long run it is very daunting. She was a good one to adress that issue, I assume that it is/has gotten better because you really don't seem apathetic ^^ If you ever do, don't hesitate on telling me and I will try to cheer you yo =)

 

[Questingpoet]

Too long a thread to fully read, but I'll chime in on mine.

In relationships:

* Pursuing the one everyone else was: Usually this was just the best looking, and less interesting, one.

* Not being about that person: I never "played the field". If I was with someone, that was it. If they wanted to date around, they weren't enough into me, and it made me feel the same way.

* Unkindness: The number one turn off. The only realtionships I ever broke off were for this reason. I could take stupidity, vanity, even confused minds. But unkind--no way.

People in General:

* Arrogance

* Lack of empathy

* Selfishness

Oh yeah, and back hair. Ehuuu......

 

[gloomy-optimist]

I'm not sure I had this one in my list: double standards.

 

[slant]

1. Sexual people (especially those who direct their sexual intentions towards me when I have communicated I'm simply not interested)
2. Someone vomiting on me
3. Lack of communication
4. Crudeness

 

[midnightmelody]

That truthfully makes me mad. When someone says that. I sort of take it upon myself to make them come up with some kind of plan. I am such a planned out person that I NEED to know the future. It simply drives me crazy when people don't know, or worse don't care. It legitimatly makes me mad. Nevertheless, I am normally not surprized by the kind of people who are like that, and already have an adversion to them to begin with.

I can't help but take a bit of offense to this, because I do not know what I want to do yet, but that has little to do with apathy. I truthfully want to know what I need to be doing, but have not narrowed down a list of options yet. I greatly envy people who have it all figured out, because I have lots of internal conflict that kills simplicity in many of my decisions.