What is wrong with INFJ men?

I have never seen an INFJ whether or male or Female that went through their life without going through what I'd call a fairly deep existential depression. They seem to phase in and out of it and go through periods of being all in or all out lol. I sometimes find that it can be intolerable to deal with them when they're in this state because their whole perception of the world and people shift. Usually once they come out of it they're a lot more self actualized and take ownership of their place in the world. But leading up to those epiphanies and such can be a real drag. It's not even that there is something wrong with them, it's just that they tend to come into things a bit later than others because they seem to carry a burden in their hearts they haven't been able to identify... Then they end up burning through everything... All their beliefs, ideologies, perceptions turn to ash and they tend to come out on the other end a little fucked up but they work on it haha.

Bless their hearts.

It may be that you've mostly seen INFJ's who are approaching that state or who are going through it.
 
There's nothing wrong with INFJ males. They have the functions that they are supposed to have :-)
 
Man, the implicit sexism here.

>__>

Honestly, I don't think 90% of what's being written here is -bad-... just uncommon. Different. The only thing in the OP that sounded risky is the maladaptive daydreaming syndrome and that affects EVERYONE.

The only thing 'wrong' here is simply not fitting to the common narrative/standard of all macho stoic rational physically strong men with emotional constipation.
And honestly, I have zero problems with it not fitting with the standard.

There are many manifestations of a good mind and a good heart.
There are many ways to be good and a good person.
There are many ways for people to grow-- self control is just ONE of them.
And add that EVERYONE can fuck up, every trait can be damaging without moderation and management,
and so far I'm not seeing anything wrong with an INFJ man.

Just different.
 
Also, @Billy is also an INFJ, you know. :P (I wonder where he is... may he live happy)
 
I am only thinking now... (don't take this seriously :P) What is wrong with you men?! *deep sigh* Despite the MBTI type. I really don't understand, but maybe because I'm a woman. :D
 
flower said:
I am only thinking now... (don't take this seriously :P) What is wrong with you men?! *deep sigh* Despite the MBTI type. I really don't understand, but maybe because I'm a woman. :D
Click to expand...

I think for INFX types, and maybe most XNXX types as well, the deviation between male ness and femaleness is blurred. There are more androgynous personalities, not so many gendered stereotypes.
 
What exactly is "Alpha male traits" to you? And I honestly don't see anything feminized about an INFJ male,
especially in the case where an INFJ male has developed more of a Ni-Ti loop whereas not using there Fe, like most have.
Referring back to alpha male traits, I actually see us INFJ Men as dominant, due to our more incline understanding of
others in general.

When it comes to living in cuckoo land, I wouldn't describe it as a description of an unhealthy INFJ either.
Most INFJ males I know, including myself, actually turn their daydreaming into reality as a good applause to be made.
For example, if I daydreamed about going on a cruise, or playing loud music in an expensive car, i'd make that a reality,
taking the steps needed to format that manifestation. And such people attempting to call BS, would actually be stunned
at that actualization.

I do agree with you on the fantasy dream girl proposal though. In order to cope with this, I tend to turn these girls who I
classify as not perfect enough, into what i believe is perfect. Haha, given a few manipulation tactics, and craftsmanship,
whatever I personify as the perfect girl, i'll craft into this real life girl. Forcefully deleting her flaws from existence out of self pity.
Sounds evil but, if it turns our fantasies into somewhat of a reality, hey, let's go for it!
 
Alpha male traits seem to me to be pretty caveman! Lol, the sort of guy ESTP are very good at being. ESTP is the opposite of INFJ!
Nothing touchy feely, no empathy, striving for success, self destructive, dare devil.
Or maybe that's just psychopathy?
 
Ehh, I just don't agree with the lack of empathy being an alpha male trait.
Having empathy and using it intellectually to maneuver your ways to get
what you want out of others, would seem more alpha-like to me. In other
words, using your empathy for both bad and good to get what you want.
I mean, having empathy, and displaying it, are two different things.

Lol you reminded me of the stunt scene from Ghost Rider when he has
to ride his bike over those helicopters from what you described haha.
 
Artisan said:
Yeah, I'm not the one calling an entire MBTI type (ESTP) psychopaths...
Nor am I suggesting all INFJ men are mentally ill or suffer a specific disorder...

Do you hate/have something against men?
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No, absolutely not. I am speaking from experience. I have suffered some of the same problems myself, ie, being fantasy prone. Not a male thing by any account. I did go out with an ESTP too for a while, just as a friend mind you, not a partner, but he seemed to be male in a much more stereotypical way from either of my INFJ/P friends. I was joking when I said psychopath, I guess irony doesn't always communicate well in a forum post. Please don't get upset about it. ��
 
Persona said:
Ehh, I just don't agree with the lack of empathy being an alpha male trait.
Having empathy and using it intellectually to maneuver your ways to get
what you want out of others, would seem more alpha-like to me. In other
words, using your empathy for both bad and good to get what you want.
I mean, having empathy, and displaying it, are two different things.

Lol you reminded me of the stunt scene from Ghost Rider when he has
to ride his bike over those helicopters from what you described haha.
Click to expand...


Having the ability to be emotionally manipulative is certainly not empathy.
 
SpecialEdition said:
I have never seen an INFJ whether or male or Female that went through their life without going through what I'd call a fairly deep existential depression. They seem to phase in and out of it and go through periods of being all in or all out lol. I sometimes find that it can be intolerable to deal with them when they're in this state because their whole perception of the world and people shift. Usually once they come out of it they're a lot more self actualized and take ownership of their place in the world. But leading up to those epiphanies and such can be a real drag. It's not even that there is something wrong with them, it's just that they tend to come into things a bit later than others because they seem to carry a burden in their hearts they haven't been able to identify... Then they end up burning through everything... All their beliefs, ideologies, perceptions turn to ash and they tend to come out on the other end a little fucked up but they work on it haha.
Click to expand...
I think you really hit the nail on the head with INFJs facing an ongoing or recurring "deep existential depression." I would say that that that crisis of actualization is distinctly different for males, though. Partly because INFJ functions align themselves more neatly with publicly accepted female behavior than the caricature of the machismo celebrated in media culture. Gender pressure aside, I agree that underdeveloped functions (especially in younger INFJ males) seem to perpetuate this indecision and search for self among all the personas they could hope to be
 
Ghoulia Yelps said:
Having the ability to be emotionally manipulative is certainly not empathy.
Click to expand...

You have to feel where someone is coming from or pretend to at least,
to manipulate them in the first place. It branches off from stem-to-stem.
I guess it is ironic how miscommunication can take place from a forum,
rather than real life.
 
Ghoulia Yelps said:
No, absolutely not. I am speaking from experience. I have suffered some of the same problems myself, ie, being fantasy prone. Not a male thing by any account. I did go out with an ESTP too for a while, just as a friend mind you, not a partner, but he seemed to be male in a much more stereotypical way from either of my INFJ/P friends. I was joking when I said psychopath, I guess irony doesn't always communicate well in a forum post. Please don't get upset about it. ��
Click to expand...

Take a look at this:

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/101-Erotic-Attitudes
 
Good article. It goes well with the points I have raised.
ESTP are the most likely to practice "game" and be players, seeking pleasure in temporary liaisons rather than deep connections. They run away when things start looking like commitment. I'm sure there are very happily married ESTP males, but I don't think that monogamy is their natural state.
 
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