What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

@MsLonelyHearts I love everyone with any kind of mental disorder, but when it comes to the innocence that goes into autism, that is by far the best.
Unfortunately I don’t think the dsm fully recognizes cptsd, and they’re in the process of trying to differentiate it from other disorders as well considering there’s usually an underlying disorder that causes processing trauma more difficult.
Honestly, I’m starting to realize how disgusting it is that I’m obsessed with it at this point considering we’re all going to have difficulties dealing with painful experiences and we should treat ourselves as such.
If you feel you need to put up boundaries in your relationships and find some red flags for yourself, I fully encourage that you do that, just be sure not to go too far and disregard the ones who love you.
 
Synergos said:
I think if you are a "good person", you don't need to tell this! It's like to have 7 feet height and tell "I'm tall!"... We know the tree by the fruit...
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I’m so glad to hear this talk. I too have been shocked to hear more and more people saying they are a good person (like out of nowhere) or talking about who is a good person, etc.

There is good and bad in everyone. What matters is if we love everyone regardless.
Doing good things doesn’t make someone a good person overall. And doing bad things doesn’t make someone a bad person overall.
I do believe people assessing themselves and others are trying to fend off unnecessary guilt.
People need to learn to integrate their shadow.

Until a person can grow up and do that, it’s impossible to have a real relationship with them. And I feel bad watching them struggle.
 
More of a pet peeve than a red flag is someone who is so overconfident that they don't care what anyone thinks. Nothing is wrong with confidence, but the type of person I am referring to is someone who thinks being confident in who they are means they never do anything wrong, they can never be corrected, should be honest regardless of how it affects others, and uses this "I don't care" persona to be dismissive towards other people's feelings. They think it makes them look tough but rather, it makes them appear clueless and just plain rude. :D
 
MsLonelyHearts said:
I do believe people assessing themselves and others are trying to fend off unnecessary guilt.
People need to learn to integrate their shadow.
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I came to that same conclusion earlier today.
It seems to me that it’s much easier to be concerned about genetics or what is comparatively better rather than to understand things from both angles. I’m not too sure about integration of shadow because I’m still trying to comprehend Jungs work as it is, but I do see how there is a full lack of self forgiveness and other relationships that go into this for us to be able to have self awareness. Being destroyed by trauma doesn’t help with that.
 
Gaze said:
More of a pet peeve than a red flag is someone who is so overconfident that they don't care what anyone thinks. Nothing is wrong with confidence, but the type of person I am referring to is someone who thinks being confident in who they are means they never do anything wrong, they can never be corrected, should be honest regardless of how it affects others, and uses this "I don't care" persona to be dismissive towards other people's feelings. They think it makes them look tough but rather, it makes them appear clueless and just plain rude. :D
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Hmm. Yeah. Kind of like when someone tries to talk past you instead of directly. I think teaching boundaries in that situation won’t be of much help. :smirk:
 
Gaze said:
More of a pet peeve than a red flag is someone who is so overconfident that they don't care what anyone thinks. Nothing is wrong with confidence, but the type of person I am referring to is someone who thinks being confident in who they are means they never do anything wrong, they can never be corrected, should be honest regardless of how it affects others, and uses this "I don't care" persona to be dismissive towards other people's feelings. They think it makes them look tough but rather, it makes them appear clueless and just plain rude. :D
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Agreed.
 
People who prefer to spend majority of their waking lives on the internet over getting out for fresh air. I have no problem if there is no choice but to stay clamped down on the phone or computer all day, especially if your job demands it. But to prefer that over going out and getting some sunshine, meeting people face to face, or exploring somewhere new, I think there's something wrong...and that's just my opinion.
 
Jexocuha said:
People who prefer to spend majority of their waking lives on the internet over getting out for fresh air. I have no problem if there is no choice but to stay clamped down on the phone or computer all day, especially if your job demands it. But to prefer that over going out and getting some sunshine, meeting people face to face, or exploring somewhere new, I think there's something wrong...and that's just my opinion.
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Love this response
 
Jexocuha said:
People who prefer to spend majority of their waking lives on the internet over getting out for fresh air. I have no problem if there is no choice but to stay clamped down on the phone or computer all day, especially if your job demands it. But to prefer that over going out and getting some sunshine, meeting people face to face, or exploring somewhere new, I think there's something wrong...and that's just my opinion.
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waves my flag
 
Stinginess. True stinginess, not not being able to afford things. It always spans across multiple areas of one's life; stingy with money, with commodities, with time, stingy with emotions and affection. I prefer people who spend their money like cabbage leave, and will give your their time and offer their help without second thought, even though that's also extreme and having this sort of this personality causes its own problems. Generosity is very attractive, and almost always means, that whatever other flaws one has, at their core they're a good person, in the most basic sense of the word.
 
The inability to discern, or respect boundaries.

The presumptuous, the annoying, the rude, and criminals all have this trait.

If you want to offer a personal comment, unsolicited, you will be silently added to the Fuck off Fucktard file in my memory.
 
Ulla Lulla said:
Talking too much; listening too little.
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One of my biggest pet peeves. If I take the time to show interest in you, and all you do is talk about yourself, without taking the time to return the interest, that's a huge red flag. And it is so common nowadays. People will just keep going. They don't know conversational turn talking. Give the other person a chance to speak! Do some listening too!
 
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