What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

Synergos said:
Taking notes! ha!
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Here's a thought-provoking quote from Rorty:

In my utopia, human solidarity would be seen not as a fact to be recognised by clearing away "prejudice" or burrowing down to previously hidden depths but, rather, as a goal to be achieved. It is to be achieved not by inquiry but by imagination, the imaginative ability to see strange people as fellow sufferers. Solidarity is not discovered by reflection but created. It is created by increasing our sensitivity to the particular details of the pain and humiliation of other, unfamiliar sorts of people. Such increased sensitivity makes it more difficult to marginalise people different from ourselves by thinking, "They do not feel as 'we' would," or "There must always be suffering, so why not let 'them' suffer?"

This process of coming to see other human beings as "one of us" rather than as "them" is a matter of detailed description of what unfamiliar people are like and of redescription of what we ourselves are like. This is a task not for theory but for genres such as ethnography, the journalist's report, the comic book, the docudrama, and, especially, the novel. Fiction like that of Dickens, Olive Schreiner, or Richard Wright give us the details about kinds of suffering being endured by people to whom we had previously not attended. Fiction like that of Choderlos de Laclos, Henry James, or Nabokov gives us the details about what sorts of cruelty we ourselves are capable of, and thereby lets us redescribe ourselves. That is why the novel, the movie, and the TV program have, gradually but steadily, replaced the sermon and the treatise as the principal vehicles of moral change and progress.
 
Thank you Ren for the quote! I added to my list of authors to read soon!
 
Ren said:
"Cruelty is the worst thing we do."

Richard Rorty is one of my favourite philosophers. This statement is the foundation of his moral practical philosophy.
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Yes. Cruelty is the ugliest part of being human.
Another thing he said, which struck me was "Certainty is not the goal of intellectual life, or at least it shouldn't be." I think partly because without some degree of risk or being unsure, you won't pursue those things which scare you, yet teach you. I like his thinking. Cowardice is another trait, which for me is a bit sad (not unforgiveable or inexcusable, just not rational in being open to what you could learn if you were a true intellectual, for example).

Thank you for sharing that quote, Ren. <3
 
Yeah, my top dislike I wrote is any unkindness, of which cruelty is the most egregious type.

I want to be as far away from unkindness as the east is from the west.
 
Anomaly said:
Yes. Cruelty is the ugliest part of being human.
Another thing he said, which struck me was "Certainty is not the goal of intellectual life, or at least it shouldn't be." I think partly because without some degree of risk or being unsure, you won't pursue those things which scare you, yet teach you. I like his thinking. Cowardice is another trait, which for me is a bit sad (not unforgiveable or inexcusable, just not rational in being open to what you could learn if you were a true intellectual, for example).

Thank you for sharing that quote, Ren. <3
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Cowardice is one most dangerous and miserable traits... I understand when Jordan Peterson tells about being a "controlled monster".
I terms of character, a coward is one person that can't fit you in the eyes, but stab you when you turn back. Cowards a prone to cruelty too...
 
As one diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, cowardice is tough. I think of it as the unwillingness to do what is right due to fear.
 
o2b said:
As one diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, cowardice is tough. I think of it as the unwillingness to do what is right due to fear.
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Dear, I can relate a lot! As one that suffered with abuse for many years, I can imagine. I woke up many times in the middle of night with my heart beating like a horse running... I had blood pressure spikes... Is totally understandable.

And I had a huge fear about disappointing people.... Fear is not bad per se...

I'm telling about cowardice referring people that are simply weak, simply use people in fragile position to take advantage, to take control, etc...
 
Winterflowers said:
"Selective" empathy, haha, this made me smile. I think I know what you're talking about.
Those are good criteria.
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I heard these phrases from the same person:

"Even a child can handle the harsh side of the life!";
"You don't care about my feelings!"

Empathy to me... hard truth to others...
 
Wyote said:
Being a human is a pretty big red flag for me at this point in my life.
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I think I've always felt this way, combined with compassion for people. It's a tangled mess. "I am wary of you because of your species. I also feel compassion for you and want you to feel accepted and liked."


Daustus said:
Ironic Facial Hair
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Noooo. I have some friends who used to carve their facial hair into unusual styles just to mess with their friends and to be funny. It was hilarious. A few days later they would have a different look because the joke ran its course. They used to do twisty villain mustaches and handlebar mustaches before those got trendy. To me, this symbolizes a great sense of humor, and that they don't take themselves too seriously. I liked it.
 
Asa said:
I think I've always felt this way, combined with compassion for people. It's a tangled mess. "I am wary of you because of your species. I also feel compassion for you and want you to feel accepted and liked."
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Exactly :)
 
o2b said:
As one diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, cowardice is tough. I think of it as the unwillingness to do what is right due to fear.
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Anxiety is quite difficult. I deal with it also. Sometimes, there is good reason for anxiety, perhaps a sign of things which are not right in our experience, things which need to be gleaned (the example that Synergos gave is one of those). However, I think the anxiety of the unknown, can often leave us stagnant, and missing out on the best that life has to offer. It is important to discern if what we are experiencing is actually due to a cowardice or something which needs to heal in us. If healing needs to take place, then we can move forward to better things. I hope you can experience the better things too. <3
 
Asa said:
I think I've always felt this way, combined with compassion for people. It's a tangled mess. "I am wary of you because of your species. I also feel compassion for you and want you to feel accepted and liked."




Noooo. I have some friends who used to carve their facial hair into unusual styles just to mess with their friends and to be funny. It was hilarious. A few days later they would have a different look because the joke ran its course. They used to do twisty villain mustaches and handlebar mustaches before those got trendy. To me, this symbolizes a great sense of humor, and that they don't take themselves too seriously. I liked it.
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Reading Asa's post, I realize now that I had read the Daustus post with a focus only in "Ironic Facial"... lol
 
Anomaly said:
Anxiety is quite difficult. I deal with it also. Sometimes, there is good reason for anxiety, perhaps a sign of things which are not right in our experience, things which need to be gleaned (the example that Synergos gave is one of those). However, I think the anxiety of the unknown, can often leave us stagnant, and missing out on the best that life has to offer. It is important to discern if what we are experiencing is actually due to a cowardice or something which needs to heal in us. If healing needs to take place, then we can move forward to better things. I hope you can experience the better things too. <3
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Thanks, Lore.

Mine is due to a rather sizable level of emotional trauma that I have traveled land and sea to be exorcised from.

Ain't happening.

But, I have my house of cards.
 
Jonah Caan said:
When they treat the waiter/waitress rudely
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When I worked in the food industry two men were picking on me in that gross (but common) degrading but sexually suggestive way. My boss walked up, took the food out of my hand, handed it to the men himself, and said, "NEVER pick on the people who handle your food." His tone made it sound like he was suggesting they'd get poisoned.

He was such a sweet guy. It was epic that he told them off and stood up for me.
 
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