Why don't women make the first move?

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:laughing: Love it!

Dis one is also mah fave.

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I think that women often make the first move but in a way that is often too subtle for men to pick up :p

Ren is correct. I need to tell men when women are flirting with them. The same men will say, "Nobody is ever interested in me."
The problem with this, of course, is that if you genuinely cannot detect the body language and pretend you can, you run the risk of being one of those unbearable men who acts like every woman who smiles at him wants him.

Theoretically, I'm for women making the first move. I personally never make the first move because I don't invest in others until they prove they are interested in me. I don't have random crushes on people. I'm not attracted to random people. If I have a crush it means there was an exchange between said person and I that allowed a crush to unfold. The problem with this is that when I was younger I inevitably ended up in relationships with people who were brave enough to approach me, and brave enough to try to connect with me, and I chose the most appropriate candidate from that pool.
 
Ren is correct. I need to tell men when women are flirting with them. The same men will say, "Nobody is ever interested in me."
The problem with this, of course, is that if you genuinely cannot detect the body language and pretend you can, you run the risk of being one of those unbearable men who acts like every woman who smiles at him wants him.

I think that in a weird way, these attitudes are both tied to a "coping with rejection" mechanism. If a man says: "Nobody is ever interested in me", he copes with it by anticipating the rejection. If he acts like every woman who smiles at him wants him, he can later justify a rejection as the woman preferring to pretend not being interested, because that would come across as being too easy, or something. (I've observed that latter attitude a lot in the south of France). Although these approaches seem diametrically opposed, they have in common the negation of the individuality of the woman from whom rejection may be anticipated, because I think it's easier to deal with a rejection which one has made impersonal by applying it to "women in general". In a way, if you make the rejection impersonal, you shield yourself from taking it personally (or so you think).

Now, this seems to suggest that men are truly terribly afraid of rejection... :P
 
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