Why don't women make the first move?

[Pin]

Waaaaaaaattttttt!?!?

How many times, man? Rejection is not a real risk. This is real real simple.

1) If you are interested in a woman, ask her out.

If she says no, that does not reflect in any way upon your masculinity or worth as a human being.

Otherwise, you're just sort of waiting for women to make moves out of a misplaced sense of status.

That is game playing and and it's bullshit.

Rejection is a real risk, it is psychologically demoralizing. It is also uncomfortable for a lot of women to reject a man who expresses interest.

There are occasional times when good may come from deliberately asking women out, however, just asking any woman out as a rule-of-thumb isn't polite and can lead to uncomfortable outcomes.

Women make moves on men all of the time. It's ok for a man to step back and relax.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

@Pin Here's the narrative:

When you ask a woman out, you're giving her your consideration. You're basically saying that you would like to find out if she meets your standards. If she can sustain a good one-on-one conversation or whatever it is.

You're not losing anything in asking, seriously. You're not putting yourself in a subordinate position.

In my dating life, most of the time I would reject the girl after the first date. Women tend to reject more upon being asked.

As a man, all the power is in your hands. You risk nothing to put anyone within your notice.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Rejection is a real risk, it is psychologically demoralizing. It is also uncomfortable for a lot of women to reject a man who expresses interest.

There are occasional times when good may come from deliberately asking women out, however, just asking any woman out as a rule-of-thumb isn't polite and can lead to uncomfortable outcomes.

Women make moves on men all of the time. It's ok for a man to step back and relax.

I can't say I've ever been 'psychologically demoralised' from being rejected that way. Unless you have preexisting self-esteem issues, and you're judging your worth based upon how random women respond to you, then it seriously isn't a problem.

And of course you should exercise judgement and use common sense - you won't be asking women out cold turkey. You'll know them at least a little bit before you do it, otherwise you're being incautious.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I should say, though, if you just want to focus on other things and work on yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying that isn't an option. It's a good one.

All I'm saying is, if you ever want to take a girl out specifically, there's no reason to tarry.

 

[Pin]

I should say, though, if you just want to focus on other things and work on yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying that isn't an option. It's a good one.

All I'm saying is, if you ever want to take a girl out specifically, there's no reason to tarry.

That's absolutely fair.

 

[Pin]

Yeeeeeeeaaaahhh, I’m gonna have to agree with our buddy here.

Sorry friend,@Pin.

If you continue this perspective, you’re possibly letting opportunities fly you by.

That's okay; it's okay to miss opportunities now so one can be free to pursue better opportunities in the future.

Speaking as a woman and for millions of women out there, sometimes we aren’t going to do the approaching. We are equally as afraid of rejection like men are at times, even more so if we really like the person.

That's really cute.

If you let a woman know through flirtation and body-language that you are interested in her, and she shows the same level of interest back but doesn’t do anything—she is possibly incredibly nervous and you will have to make the first move.

Fair.

That's an instance where it's acceptable to make a move.

Don’t expect women to always do the approaching. That’s not how dating works. Gotta take it by the horns and bite the bullet. At the end of the day, if you get rejected, at least you tried and you move onto the next.

I don't expect women to always do the approaching, just sometimes. I'm okay with sometimes.

However, you're right; cowardice is unacceptable.

 

[Cookie]

So in an age of equality why don't women make the first move?

Shouldn't women approach guys as much as guys approach women?

If guys always make the first move and if many guys are too shy or sensitive to make the first move then is that why 'nice guys always come last' because under such a cultural norm the more assertive and aggressive males would be the ones approaching women and therefore having the most success?

What do people think about this issue?

I have made the first move a few times and often it just intimates the guy into thinking I'm too forward or too serious.

Sometimes it works great, like with all of my ex's and my current man. I notice them noticing me and I say something dorky like "hey you just gonna keep looking at my ass or are you gonna ask me out" or "are you just gonna keep cyber stalking me or are you gonna ask me out for coffee? Because the last stalker got a swift kick to the boys and a restraining order"

 

[Pin]

I have made the first move a few times and often it just intimates the guy into thinking I'm too forward or too serious.

Sometimes it works great, like with all of my ex's and my current man. I notice them noticing me and I say something dorky like "hey you just gonna keep looking at my ass or are you gonna ask me out" or "are you just gonna keep cyber stalking me or are you gonna ask me out for coffee? Because the last stalker got a swift kick to the boys and a restraining order"