You find out your partner has cheated...

What do you do?

  • Stay

    Votes: 8 24.2%

  • Leave

    Votes: 25 75.8%
  • Total voters
    33
I also wouldn't feel bad having sex with someone else, after being cheated on. If it's not important to you, it's no longer important to me.
 
TooShyToSay said:
Lol! Okay but stop leaving the toilet seat up or it's over between us.
Click to expand...

Here as Queen, I get you special throne. Now you never worry about flushing yourself down the toilet hole. Now you make poopsy where ever you go! See awesome relationship compromising skills! /wow
487-folding-commode-with-elongated-seat-8700main_6.webp
 
Last edited:
Jimmers said:
I also wouldn't feel bad having sex with someone else, after being cheated on. If it's not important to you, it's no longer important to me.
Click to expand...
TooShyToSay said:
Yep.
Click to expand...

So cheating is ok if the other did it first?
You could handle that a lot more adult-like.

1) Cheated on
2) Break up
3) Happily fuck around the world

Just don't cheat. You'd be as bad as the other.
 
Erlian said:
So cheating is ok if the other did it first?
You could handle that a lot more adult-like.

1) Cheated on
2) Break up
3) Happily fuck around the world

Just don't cheat. You'd be as bad as the other.
Click to expand...

What I mean is that it would be time to move on. I could freely form another relationship, sex or no sex. If the relationship ended for other reasons, I would probably feel guilty about forming a relationship too soon because I would be worried about hurting their feelings. Not so with a cheater.
 
"Foolish Games" by Jewel is most likely my favorite video on Youtube. Her facial feelings, body language, emotion, beauty, and all add to it.

She sings about tearing apart and her heart breaking. I feel it with her. The spiritual language in the background is awesome. Bleeding heart, down on her knees. I could never do that to her. Awesome video. She is being ignored. Her depth of emotions are silently causing her to die spiritually. Time to go.
 
TooShyToSay said:
Lol! You are taking this in a literal sense but I do see where [MENTION=6303]Jimmers[/MENTION] has a point. If there is infidelity and you meet someone else shortly after breaking up, there might not be that sense of guilt starting something new as there might be if the breakup was for other reasons.
Click to expand...

The difference we have is that I think anyone can do whatever they want after a breakup no matter why the breakup happened. I probably wouldn't do it myself and I wouldn't like it if a future ex of me does it, but she would have all the right to do it. Besides, it's probably easier to move on that way.
 
I would try to figure out why they did it...and if the explanation isn't good enough or doesn't sit right with me, or if I know I had to no real fault behind what they did (like I was there for them, spent time with them, provided needs, was open etc.) then I would say goodbye to the relationship.
 
i do understand as K mentioned there is a "subconscious" element. the internal pressure to behave in ways that transgress values can overwhelm; life is difficult. it was cool to read what justme had to say. ive been unsympathetic in my responses on this thread. in this situation, it would take a stronger, more sympathetic person than me to forgive and forget though. i dont have that kind of personal power. x
 
Jimmers said:
I'm sure faithful people still exist....somewhere.
Click to expand...

*Raises hand* Faithful for 20 years. Or at least I have been.

I voted leave, but it really does depend on the circumstance.

I've had the conversation about my spouse getting it on with another girl when she was 18. She told me a day or two after it happened, sort of. I thought they just made out. When we were in our 30's with 2 kids I learned it was a whole lot more. It crushed me. I forgave her after a little while but it's one of those things that I'm not sure I'll ever fully let go. I thought I was over it but the hurt started resurfacing again after a few months. We may have been young but we had an agreement since she had already once cheated on me a few weeks into our relationship. I truly forgave her the first time as the relationship was fresh, I was still testing my emotional waters myself, we were young, and she was truly remorseful.

I saw first-hand as a kid what cheating can do to a family/marriage. And I was cheated on in a teenage relationship twice. Given the poll choices I would say leave, but it really does depend. I know now that receiving any new information would devastate our marriage. I guess time would have to heal a break-up because of the kids, but I know I would have to move on.

If monogamy is one of your core values it deserves to be respected. And you have to make that clear.
 
Leave is the best option. It’s too complicated otherwise.

Factors to consider:

—Did they come forward or did you catch them? If you caught them, did you do so with integrity. No phone snooping
—What was the nature of it? One time, drunk, ongoing, etc?
—Is the other person still in contact with them; what is the status of that relationship?
—Are they really sorry?
—How is your relationship otherwise?

Basically, allowing cheating sets you up for even worse manipulation. It also gives the offender power. Just ending it is better
 
Been through this, multiple times with my ex. Each and every time I thought I could fix it, stay as the steady element in our lives, for the kids.
I was stupid. My son was away at school when I had to tell him I was filing for divorce. His response was "About time."

My advise: cheaters will always do it again given the right person to cheat with. Get out, you're the good person in this relationship and deserve someone who truly cares about you.
 
Also, stop caring so much about a relationship so that if and when this happens it’s no big deal. Only interact with things that can’t happen without a relationship. Do not emotionally or intimately blackmail someone.

Just do it once in awhile and people won’t stray. Lack of intimacy is the real killer. We like to act like doing it isn’t the most important thing. It’s the only thing. What are you doing to create those opportunities for commitment? How hard are you making it for the other person to engage
 
I totally disagree with the physical contact bit being a deterrent to a straying s.o.
Eventually one will get injured, ill, have kids... what have you. Then, if the other needs that physical contact so bad they think they have the right to cheat and turn the blame back on the other.

NOPE. They're either faithful through and through or they aren't.

I can see quite a variety of colors and shades in almost every circumstance under the sun, but this is one thing that is black and white to me.
 
I guarantee if a study was done on this. Couples doing more and on the reg have a significantly lower chance of having cheating occur

Now that might not be the true cause, but is definitely the signal things are working out enough that you don’t mind doing that kind of stuff
 
Leave. No exceptions.

The way I think about it is this:

If you cheat on me, then you weren't the person I thought you were, so I wouldn't lose anything or anyone of value by leaving.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top