why do you hate smalltalk so much? it's great. it makes people feel comfortable. and in addition to making someone feel good, you can sound them out because sooner or later they start talking about the person they really are. and also you can learn a lot by it when they start telling you about their trip abroad or whatever. you don't really want conversation to be intense all of the time, do you? what about with someone you don't really like? how draining.