Enneagram Type 8

Actually, the quote sounds to me like a passive aggressive INFP who can't stand up for themself, but felt compelled to vent about it on the internet by exaggerating their feelings and offering nonsensical fantasies as solutions to make themselves feel vindicated.

How to deal with an 8:

Be direct. Ask them if there is some sort of problem. If so, ask them what it is and get it straightened out.

Done.
 
VH said:
I met an ENFJ 9w8 this weekend... oh dear lord, her soul was so beautiful. I could spend my life protecting and basking in the light that radiates from her.

And yes, this means I am clearly not one.
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A 9w8? Sure.

I've met many type 8s in my world. Most have been pretty cool. Some have been very overyly reactive and threatening when they dont even need to be.

Maybe they were abused...
 
You mentioned you weren't 9w8, so I thought I'd reinstate that for now.

And thanks for that. I'm going to now aggressively research why your kind is, on occasion, so haughty of their physical intellect. Many thanks to you.
 
roxtehproxy said:
You mentioned you weren't 9w8, so I thought I'd reinstate that for now.
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So you agree that I'm not a 9w8? Sorry, your syntax is difficult for me to follow for some reason.

roxtehproxy said:
And thanks for that. I'm going to now aggressively research why your kind is, on occasion, so haughty of their physical intellect. Many thanks to you.
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Which kind is that?

And, please explain the phrase 'haughty of physical intellect'?
 
Reinstatement #1

VH said:
So you agree that I'm not a 9w8? Sorry, your syntax is difficult for me to follow for some reason.
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Not that I've bothered to read it, but if you state 'yes you are', I'm saying 'yes, you are...accordingly'

Which kind is that?
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The kind where an e8 thinks they can just gracefully waltz into my personal boundaries. Sure, they might be angry, but think of how much better is to just follow in with everyone else.

And, please explain the phrase 'haughty of physical intellect'?
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I mean how arrogant they are in their physical capacity, sometimes. The above is what applies just here.
 
roxtehproxy said:
The kind where an e8 thinks they can just gracefully waltz into my personal boundaries. Sure, they might be angry, but think of how much better is to just follow in with everyone else.

I mean how arrogant they are in their physical capacity, sometimes. The above is what applies just here.
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Ah. Yes, I get where you are coming from now. Thanks for clarifying.

e8's operate under the assumption that everyone else has the same boundaries that we do. (I assume that everyone makes the assumption that others think and operate like themselves, which causes these sorts of issues...) Therefore, 8's have to learn that others have different boundaries and expectations.

As far as the arrogance... this is actually confidence, and there is a huge reason for it. 8's biggest motivation is a drive to never be vulnerable. Therefore, we protect ourselves from being vulnerable by making damned sure we can handle ourselves in any arena that causes us apprehension. I've spent my life training for physical combat situations. I have also spent my life developing the ability to intimidate people if need be, but this is generally a defense tactic to keep people from going on the offensive with me socially / emotionally.

I know exactly who I can and cannot take in a physical, social, or emotional fight upon meeting them, which is most people, and I choose my battles accordingly.

This all stems from my need to be in control, because I learned at an early age that if I let others be in control, I get hurt physically, emotionally, socially, etc. and that is not going to happen if I have anything to say about it. I'm in charge because I have to be. However, this mode of approaching the world is also reflexive, so we approach everything and everyone with it - without thinking about it. It's just who we are, and as I said, we expect everyone else to be as strong and direct as we are. We assume that if we step over a boundary you will tell us, because that is what we would do - and very often have no ill will or hard feelings about honoring the boundary once it is stated.
 
VH said:
Ah. Yes, I get where you are coming from now. Thanks for clarifying.
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No problem.

e8's operate under the assumption that everyone else has the same boundaries that we do. (I assume that everyone makes the assumption that others think and operate like themselves, which causes these sorts of issues...) Therefore, 8's have to learn that others have different boundaries and expectations.
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Accordinf to the profile, this makes sense.

As far as the arrogance... this is actually confidence, and there is a huge reason for it. 8's biggest motivation is a drive to never be vulnerable. Therefore, we protect ourselves from being vulnerable by making damned sure we can handle ourselves in any arena that causes us apprehension. I've spent my life training for physical combat situations. I have also spent my life developing the ability to intimidate people if need be, but this is generally a defense tactic to keep people from going on the offensive with me socially / emotionally.
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Also makes sense. I try not to upset or interfere with any e8s like this. But if I have every reason to, I will pick your slights. Sorry if I seem too fair-minded, but I believe everyone should be treated fairly. If it is to the extent where people are hurt, someone needs to take action, and now.

I know exactly who I can and cannot take in a physical, social, or emotional fight upon meeting them, which is most people, and I choose my battles accordingly.
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True. Something to remember is to control, but try doing it with some grace. I have seen so many fights instigated by e8s, just because they're 'powerful'.

This all stems from my need to be in control, because I learned at an early age that if I let others be in control, I get hurt physically, emotionally, socially, etc. and that is not going to happen if I have anything to say about it. I'm in charge because I have to be. However, this mode of approaching the world is also reflexive, so we approach everything and everyone with it - without thinking about it. It's just who we are, and as I said, we expect everyone else to be as guarded and direct as we are. We assume that if we step over a boundary you will tell us, because that is what we would do - and very often have no ill will or hard feelings about honoring the boundary once it is stated.
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Very understandable.

I've actually met, what I assume to be, an e8w7 ENTJ, I've been keeping up and kept record with each slight he said. He happens to be full white, and I happen to be 1/4 black. He picked up on this and dropped some, to me, very obvious innuendos, insulting my quarter blackanese that is Maori. I pointed them out to him, and he was quite surprised.

No-one seems to have ever stood up to him.
While I may seem nosey in matters where I shouldn't be, I felt it was very cruel for him to slight me this way. So I state the facts, and his pastey @$$ face just turned blue.

Sorry if you feel offended by my own apparent lack of grace, but I think you should just keep that in mind.

Live long, and prosper.

*Splits fingers*
 
roxtehproxy said:
I try not to upset or interfere with any e8s like this. But if I have every reason to, I will pick your slights. Sorry if I seem too fair-minded, but I believe everyone should be treated fairly. If it is to the extent where people are hurt, someone needs to take action, and now.
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Actually, 8's are some of the best people for stepping up when someone needs to take action. Problem is, our perspective on what needs to be done and why often differs because of our need for self sufficiency.

roxtehproxy said:
True. Something to remember is to control, but try doing it with some grace. I have seen so many fights instigated by e8s, just because they're 'powerful'.
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Actually, we like to fight, so that we can get everything out in the open. People are usually too afraid to tell us what they feel or think, that we have to prod them into putting it out there.

Either that or we're trying to make sure we stay in a position of strength by pushing others down - so they won't attack us later. However, I have learned over the years that's a very counterproductive move.

roxtehproxy said:
I've actually met, what I assume to be, an e8w7 ENTJ, I've been keeping up and kept record with each slight he said. He happens to be full white, and I happen to be 1/4 black. He picked up on this and dropped some, to me, very obvious innuendos, insulting my quarter blackanese that is Maori. I pointed them out to him, and he was quite surprised.

No-one seems to have ever stood up to him.
While I may seem nosey in matters where I shouldn't be, I felt it was very cruel for him to slight me this way. So I state the facts, and his pastey @$$ face just turned blue.
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8w7 ENTJ are the quintessential domineering pushy 8s. I would assume very few people have stood up to him.

roxtehproxy said:
Sorry if you feel offended by my own apparent lack of grace, but I think you should just keep that in mind.
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I'm not offended. It seems clear you needed to vent to someone about this guy. I'm cool with that. Glad I can provide the opportunity, and hopefully explain where us e8's are coming from a little better.

roxtehproxy said:
Live long, and prosper.

*Splits fingers*
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You as well. Pon Farr, my Vulcan friend.
 
Do type 8s ever feel comfortable letting their guard down? And if so, under what circumstances?
 
Liesl said:
Do type 8s ever feel comfortable letting their guard down? And if so, under what circumstances?
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You're assuming that 8s are naturally nice people who shield themselves. But the other way round is also possible: They're naturally assertive people who put on a nice face.
 
technics said:
You're assuming that 8s are naturally nice people who shield themselves. But the other way round is also possible: They're naturally assertive people who put on a nice face.
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i'm sure you didnt mean it this way, but: nice and assertive are mutually exclusive?
 
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