INFJ Shadow

CokeNut said:
The secret to not having a gloomy view of the future is to not think too much on it ... do what you have to do today, enjoy life today, and that way whatever tomorrow brings you will be ready for it, and if its bad then you have today's happy memories to keep you going.
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Hehe a good SP philosophy! :thumb:
 
Sounds good in theory. Putting it into practice though... not so easy. At least for me.
 
That is such a good philosophy. It's such a struggle for me to stay in the now and live for today but life would be easier if I could just focus on that.
 
Haha it's not so easy when you actually do meet massive speedbumps you had never bothered considering beforehand. :doh:
 
It's an easy frame of mind to get into if you understand that your life is your dream. And in your life you can dream anything you want too. It does not matter if it works for anyone else. It's not your concern anymore. Living in the here and now involves accepting life second by second. And looking at all the things around you that make your life good. Screw the future you may never get there. So you better make the most of today. All you have is right now...
 
See, I think it's valuable to use the "live now, don't think about the future, life is a dream" scenario as a tool to combat depression and the dread of a terrible future.

However...

The dark side of that mindset - if routinely employed - is if people were never to think of the future... no consequences for their actions, the lives of others don't matter if they interfere with the Now People's pleasure, let's build in these beautiful woodlands because we like the setting, and to heck with the wildlife who live there and the oxygen those trees generate and those few people who like it like it is, nothing means anything so i'll kill him, blow them up, etc. etc.

It's all about balance.
 
My dad is an INFJ and I can completely understand about the shadow side big-time.

During one of his most stressful times in his life he:
- Became less communicative
- Became extremely judgemental of other people
- Spent a lot of money on VLT machines
- Got into a lot of short-term relationships

It came to a head when he defaulted on his rent, and car payments, and then ripped his friend off (they are practically brother and sister, by how close of friends they are). He couldve did made it right to all 3 of those things if he gave up his car, but he ended up keeping it.

I can 'read' my dad fairly well, and I know that he was self-critical throughout that entire episode but he just had to hit bottom I guess.

Anyways, he's normally a really good guy who enjoys helping people. I guess he was having some of his own problems that made him really apethetic. I've had episodes of apathy/self-destruction too, so I can understand his. But he's normally a really excellent person who lives by a high moral standard and likes helping people with their problems.
 
hmm....depending on the circumstances, and who (if anyone) I'm talking to at the time, I think I probably act like extreme forms of ISFP, ISFJ, or INTP....or fluctuate between any and all of them an indeterminate number of times in a day.

It's certainly not very pretty...:lol:


I've been all over the place lately, so....I figured I'd bring this thread back.
 
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Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
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I'm so happy you put this up...I always thought I was just a really bad person. I've been slowly learning to control it but sometimes, when I'm really pissed, it's extremely relieving to go into "Shadowform"...(WoW anyone?)
 
My shadow -- I completely turn off my "F" trait and become totally un-empathetic...and totally pathetic....frankly it scares me when I realize what I'm like without empathy....heartless and lusting for power....the "power of the dark side" if you will.
 
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KingOfSpades said:
My shadow -- I completely turn off my "F" trait and become totally un-empathetic...and totally pathetic....frankly it scares me when I realize what I'm like with empathy....heartless and lusting for power....the "power of the dark side" if you will.
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Yup, I can understand that. Because my Ti function is high to begin with. When I am in a shadow mode, my Ti (and some Te) becomes VERY strong. And in combo with using Se alot, it makes me highly insensitive people and just not caring about anyone. In other words I get like "me me me me me". Since our shadow is ESTP, I become all about instant gratification, and don't even realise I am like that until I come out of shadow. And when I do, I am so so drained of all energy.

Thankfully, it takes ALOT of pressure and such to make me go fully shadow. Last year I had about a month to two month period where I was very shadow due to alot of stress, it was bad.
 
sumone said:
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...

Sometimes I've questioned my type. But that might be because I've lived much of my life in shadow. It's sucked. I often wondered why I felt like such a cold-hearted, uncaring, unemotive, selfish, critical jerk. It is definitely a Dr Jekyll and Hyde situation.

Are there people in your life who only see you / tend to know you as your shadow? For myself, I feel like most of my family (except my sister) tends to think of me in that way, especially my mom. I think they think it's who I am.
 
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IndigoSensor said:
Yup, I can understand that. Because my Ti function is high to begin with. When I am in a shadow mode, my Ti (and some Te) becomes VERY strong. And in combo with using Se alot, it makes me highly insensitive people and just not caring about anyone. In other words I get like "me me me me me". Since our shadow is ESTP, I become all about instant gratification, and don't even realise I am like that until I come out of shadow. And when I do, I am so so drained of all energy.

Thankfully, it takes ALOT of pressure and such to make me go fully shadow. Last year I had about a month to two month period where I was very shadow due to alot of stress, it was bad.
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What's it like to realize it and then come out of it for you?
 
:mlight: hehe shadow side
 
Soulful said:
What's it like to realize it and then come out of it for you?
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oh it is bad... really bad... I will be depressed for a very very long time (months mabye). The last time it happened I was depressed for at least a month and a half. I end up looking back on everything, and dwelling on all the wrongs I have done and thinking "why was I being such a horrible person, to everyone, and myself". It is extremely stressful.
 
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