INFJ Shadow

Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
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Hrmmm.... I go into "shadow" when I'm stressed out or when I'm angry. When I was little, I guess I went into "shadow" a lot. I believe in nonviolence, but I would "snap" and end up beating people up to pulp. Nearly got suspended from school one time over one of my really really gory fights. I think that was a result of post-traumatic-stress-disorder though, not necessarily "shadow."
 
IndigoSensor said:
I go shadow when I know I am going to fail something, and I know there is no way for me to fix it.
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Feeling powerless and/or out of control brings out my shadowy parts too, and I end up really confused and hating myself for doing this to me...the more impulsive version of me can be good fun to be as long as she stays on this side of reckless, which she does, well, not all of the time. It's calmed down some over time. Maybe I'll grow out of it?

Love the verb form, BTW. Going shadow sounds kinda cool :m114:
 
Thoth said:
Or acknowledge that all of those "darker" traits are just as much you as all the parts you accept. Well... if you're ready to go and experience some shifting around of your personality.
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Yeah, I'd say my shadow side is a bit wild by nature, but manageable for the most part. I've noticed this shadow tends to react when (personally) ignored or if I'm under a lot stress or ill health (kind of like, now); however, we tend to live hand and hand these days. If I don't forgive mine I personally know that I'll start to live rapt in guilt and shame over minor issues and since I've spent years shaking off the shackles of Catholicism, I'm not going back to pretending this shadow shouldn't exist.
 
Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything ( within myself as well)
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...

I did most of these things in the mist of my own created disaster. Once I did all of things on a big fat tantrum, which is just self inflicting.
 
I am beginning to think that I've been in shadow mode way too often, lately; ever since about 15 years old. I think it's probably transition into society's expectations. I really don't do well under stress -.-
Once things smooth out, hopefully I'll go back to my healthy happy tree-hugging self.
 
Heh. Oh, and it's funny when we start saying, "oh, I'm not like that" until we make things a little *clearer.*

Like excesses? They should include shopping for me. I will absolutely buy things I don't need, and I'll do it impulsively because it "looked cool in the picture" or "looked cool in the infomercial." It's one reason I got into heavy debt. :(

I'm almost totally blind to my shadow. When I'm in it, I've completely lost the plot and I don't realize I'm acting out. I'll know I'm upset about something, and I'll suddenly look around at all this junk I don't need...but I can't remember when things began going downhill. Blech.

Things that match my shadow (that aren't as clear cut, but now that I realize it...)


  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through (i.e., shopping for things I don't need)
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising (add shopping)
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything ( within myself as well)- within myself is sooo key. I don't turn this on to many people, or if I do I don't notice it. But I get so self-critical it's shameful. All of a sudden I'm the slug without a brain.
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning (can we say, internet surfing...? All together now... Also? I frequently discover that it's easy to waste time. I do everything *but* the one thing I'm supposed to do, and I put things off because I don't "feel" like it. But I'm totally stressed out that I'm *not* doing what I need to do, too. Ahh, dichotomy...)
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way (I put shopping in here, too. Buying things for myself, not caring about the rest of the world's ills, being very internal and exclusive. "Hermit-habits.")
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values (not getting to work on time, being passive aggressive, not following through or seeing things through...etc.).

I think what's amazing about all this is, we frequently think we're not in Shadow, when we very well could be. Or we might assume this is "someone else's problem" rather than our own. It's hard for an INFJ to get the help they need when they're in Shadow, though. It's easy to dance around the problem and make excuses for oneself.

Ugh. I think I need to start getting out of my own house and I need to go to the library to work on my writing. Give myself new perspective, and all that.:m080:
 
CokeNut said:
Wow ... this make me sound really bad ....

At least MY shadow is INFJ, right?
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Yup, yup (from http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/myers-briggs/estp.htm):

Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the ESTP's shadow may appear - a negative form of INFJ. Example characteristics are:

  • going quiet or withdrawing from people
  • having a gloomy view of the future
  • having intense negative feelings towards others, which may be openly expressed
  • ceasing to adapt to changing circumstances
The shadow is part of the unconscious that is often visible to others, onto whom the shadow is projected. The ESTP may therefore readily see these faults in others without recognising it in him/her self.
 
Yeah! I have a shadow too ... then again, my shadow doesn't make you guys sound any better does it? Oh well, I guess the key words are "negative form of ..."

I do tend to withdraw from "real" people when I am depressed or stressed; but I did cling to TV and Radio (I don't like to be alone, need noise and/or some form of interaction). Now I have you guys .... real people, very real people ... but I don't have to carry the conversation, I don't have to do anything but enjoy your company .... I can just read what's going on and enjoy your debates, discussions and crazy antics!

You know, I can honestly say that I have never had a gloomy view of the future ... and that is entirely thanks to my parents. They taught us that the future is what you make of it and even if you don't get what you were aiming for, lemonade can be just as good as champagne ... better actually when you need a refreshing drink after busting your butt all day to build your future ... :) My daddy is a wise and wonderful man!

... for those who don't know yet ... I am a BIG TIME daddy's girl ... even at the age of 36!
 
CokeNut said:
I am a BIG TIME daddy's girl ... even at the age of 36!
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AMEN, SISTUH.
hahaha. me toooo. and i suspect i will always be, for the rest of my life.

...i have never thought about this before.
:m130:
 
The secret to not having a gloomy view of the future is to not think too much on it ... do what you have to do today, enjoy life today, and that way whatever tomorrow brings you will be ready for it, and if its bad then you have today's happy memories to keep you going.
 
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