INFJ Shadow

Confused Mind said:
I act out more of the negative ENFP traits when I am under extreme stress. For example, I will think of many possibilities for many things and make connections that are completely irrational(Ne), dwell on my negative emotions (Fi), and negative past experiences (Si). Is that unusual for an INFJ? However I will act a little like the the bolded items also.



Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything (mainly with myself than with other people)
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
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Actually, according to more current theories, such as those from Beebe, INFJ shadows are ENFP functions.

We are Ni, Fe, Ti, Se. Our shadow functions are Ne, Fi, Te, and Si aka ENFP. Picture a really bad ENFP. This is our dark side. The shadow personality never loses it's core (NF in our case). When under enough long term stress, any INFJ will eventually act like an ENFP. This is where our 'silly switch' and our sarcasm come from. This also explains how INFJs and ENFPs seem to have a magically ability to bring out the best and/or worst in each other. The inverted functions draw out the bad functions in the another when we are good, and the good functions when we are in shadow mode. Despite all logical and moral reason, this actually helps both of us develop our lesser functions so in the end it is a very good thing.

The effect described above is describing how INFJs deal with a stressful situation temporarily by flipping their natural function orders. We are Ni, Fe, Ti, Se. Our stressful situation functions are Si, Te, Fi, and Ni aka ESTP. When anyone is in a stressful situation they suddenly amp up all of their functions, which makes it look like they've switched types. In truth, they're just sharply contrasted by having a great degree of what was formerly auxiliary and inferior. This is why INFJs are all so good in a crisis. The ESTP is the ideal personality to have when life and death are on the line for a group of people. Ironically, people who are normally ESTP go INFJ and lose a lot of ability to act in stressful situations. When the crisis is over, the mind reverts back to normal and then begins to process what happened. This is why we turn into a puddle of quivering overwhelmedness once everyone is safe. Our INFJ sides are then allowed to deal with the situation.
 
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Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFJ's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTP. Example characteristics are:
Click to expand...
  • acting very impulsively, making decisions without thinking them through
  • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
  • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
  • being preoccupied about unimportant details and doing things that have no meaning
  • acting in a very materialistic and selfish way
  • cutting corners, breaking the rules, and even contradicting the INFJ's own values
Click to expand...
O m'gosh!!! I just thought I was a freak! Oh relief, oh happy day! Now I know what the heck is going on with me! I've gone shadow lots of times. I just never knew what it was, other than I was acting extremely unusual and negative, and had no idea why. (Thank you, highly developed T! I see shadow coming a mile away.) I'm in good company with this too. So cool! :D

EDIT: Anyone else have a complete lack of motivation when "going shadow"?
 
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I most deffinitely turn ESTP in shadow, not ENFP. My emotions are so strongly supressed, and I become very careless about others feelings, which is uncharacteristic of ENFP (good or bad)
 
My shadow definitely is more T than F, if nothing else, and I think I do become more S...I see ESTP as being more of my shadow type than anything, especially when I'm extremely stressed. Becoming more T though is one of the first signs of becoming stressed for me.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
My shadow definitely is more T than F, if nothing else, and I think I do become more S...I see ESTP as being more of my shadow type than anything, especially when I'm extremely stressed. Becoming more T though is one of the first signs of becoming stressed for me.
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The more stress we are under, the more we 'drop' our dominant functions because they are not working for us. For INFJs, this means we first drop our Ni and promote Fe to the dominant spot. Our first sign of being stressed is becoming overly polite and concerned with everyone's feelings, trying very hard to make everything better. If that doesn't work, we promote our Ti to dominant, which causes us to become analytical and lost in our heads, sometimes to the point of excessive daydreaming as a reaction to the stress. If that doesn't work, then we promote Se to dominant, and begin working harder with a single minded focus and being very stubborn. At this point, we appear to be ESTP. This isn't a 'shadow' personality. It's just ourselves pushed to our limits. A crisis is the most likely situation to push us to this point, but it needn't be a life or death struggle. It can come out of us if it looks like we're about to miss an important deadline, or fail at anything that is extremely important to us or those we care about.

When we are pushed past our limits, we then promote our next function to dominant, which is Ne, and with it follows a complete shift to the remaining functions, Fi, Te, and Si because none of our standard functions have worked. This is when we become ENFPs. According to the theory, this is our last step of dominance shifting as we have now comepletely given up on being who we are. If you've never been pushed to this point, consider yourself lucky. If you have, you'll know that there isn't much conscience to this part of ourselves as all of our idealism, and everything we are, have failed us. We're still concerened with feelings, but now take on a hedonistic set of ideals, and are unfortunately also given ENFP charisma to pull off all of our machinations. Ironically, this is the point where we learn to develop our weakest functions, and if we spend enough time in this state we can bring them up to par with our primary functions, to be used for the greater good once we shift back to our true selves.

Pristinegirl said:
This is very interesting! If INFJ's turn ENFP's. Does that mean that ENFP's turn INFJ's as well? :)
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According to the theory? Absolutely. I'm afraid to see that. It would look like a very cold, magnetic, and focused person who knew exactly what to do to hurt people the most, and had nothing preventing them from doing so. INFJs are at their core made of steel. In a lot of ways, that's pure unstoppable evil right there.
 
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Yeah, an evil INFJ could do a world of hurt...
 
I learned a lot from reading this thread. That "shadow" character sure sounds a lot like me when I'm frustrated or stressed out from my job.
 
SO CONFUSED!! help me! so umm, ur saying if ur stressed for a VERRY long time ur shadow comes out, and then because ur using ur different functions thy become stronger, meaning ur personality could change? i dont WANT to change! im an ENFP and well ive been under stress for 5 months (extreme) yeah lottsa eating/excercising havent been myself in FOREVER!!! and ur telling me that i could change if i stay like this?? i fear this.
 
"We're still concerened with feelings, but now take on a hedonistic set of ideals, and are unfortunately also given ENFP charisma to pull off all of our machinations. Ironically, this is the point where we learn to develop our weakest functions, and if we spend enough time in this state we can bring them up to par with our primary functions, to be used for the greater good once we shift back to our true selves."

so is this for only INFJs? or when everyone undergoes the "shadow" part of them for a VERY long time, lets say, a year, do they usually strengthen thier least used functions?

i really dont want that to happen to me. i value my 'ENFP ness' more than anything i have, because im always happy and i just feel...so spectacular! its like, the reason of my existence!!
 
Yes, sadly, I don't think I go through a single week without behaving like a real little ESTP ****.

Just too many provoking things going on.

I am almost curious to see an ESTP (or whichever type it is) behaving like an INFJ on a bad day.
 
I barely see any of those in me. I have to be in a horrible situation for those to come out. I can't say that they would come out either.
 
Hard to say, but it can happen to anyone, not just infjs. It most likely would not be a permanent change.
 
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I was working for a company and they got bought out by a bigger one. We were all in a position to lose our jobs (Turned out for me the the new company really wanted me to work for them and made me quite a sweet deal), but they sent those of us who wanted to, to a 40 hour (1 week) business psychology thing. It was immense fun and we got paid to go there! They used MBTI but in a little different way. They boiled it down to the primary use of a singular function in ordinary non-stressy situations and a change in us in stressy situations when our ordinary preference wasn't getting the job done well enough or communicating well enough. I'll see if I can't put some versions of the tests here, but it's kinda not easy to do. The tests basically said you will have a preferred style until enough pressure is on and then you will bring on stronger your shadow side to help you as long as you need to. My preferece was over the top in Intuitor. What the tests showed for me was that I would stick with that even in stress, but would beef up my T (Thinker) process as I felt necessary. I can actually be a pretty good and logical thinker if the pressure is on, but my intuitive side doesn't like to have to do that because it seems so linear and confining.

Something I really honsetly say is that I 100% trust in my shadow side(s) I think it's imperative to have all the functions working for one another's benefit and in harmony, and if a secondary or shadow or tertiary (do they call it?) one ios called upon, it will appear in full glory.
 
mayflow, Are you still against labelling functions as auxiliary (or secondary) and tertiary?

lalaslal, Why are you so attached to being ENFP?
 
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lalaslal said:
SO CONFUSED!! help me! so umm, ur saying if ur stressed for a VERRY long time ur shadow comes out, and then because ur using ur different functions thy become stronger, meaning ur personality could change? i dont WANT to change! im an ENFP and well ive been under stress for 5 months (extreme) yeah lottsa eating/excercising havent been myself in FOREVER!!! and ur telling me that i could change if i stay like this?? i fear this.
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Ohh dear sibling, I'm an ENFP too and I wen't through this phase. It is also amplified if you are in your teens because then everybody goes through changes. Try to embrace them and don't make it bad. You will be good the way you turn out, don't worry about the label. You still know who you are in your heart.
 
Wow. just Wow. This has been very enlightening. What the doctors have said about me is bipolar or borderline personality disorder. Could it be that these are just the normal extremes of my personality type?
 
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