Is the ENTP-INFJ thing a mirage?!
Short answer:
Yes, it is a mirage.
Long answer...
For friendships, INFJs and ENTPs work fabulously.
The assumption that ENTPs and INFJs are good for
long term romantic partners however, is based on the formula for S type compatibility, which is Opposite Perception function set + Inverse Judging function set = Best Compatibility. For example
Si Fe Ti Ne (ISFJ) +
Se Ti Fe Ni (ESTP) = Best compatibility. The Dominant functions compliment one another, while the secondary and tertiary functions take turns acting as parent and child to one another, allowing the inferior functions to create the kind of friction that leads to the relationship not getting boring. The Ni inferior person is good at 'keeping things on track' while the Ne inferior person provides just enough possibility to 'keep the fire burning'.
For S types, this works fairly well because the intuition functions are what cause chemistry in a relationship. However, for N types, the a difference in intuition dominance is usually overwhelming to a relationship as these functions have much more weight in these individuals. Ne dominant individuals are nothing but fire and Ni dominant individuals are nothing but wet blankets in these situations, reflexively resisting each other in the extreme, creating explosions rather than catalyst.
For N types, it is best to have a strong basis for similarity, as our ability to process information is of utmost importance to how we view the world. We need to either have one shared dominant or secondary function (Ni Fe with Ni Te, Te Ni, or Fe Ni) or the same base mode (NFPs with NFJs, NTPs with NTJs). Also, unlike with S types who need a catalyst, N types are their own catalyst and do well with their own types (NFJs with NFJs, NTPs with NTPs). In rare cases we can click fairly well with another N type that has our tertirary function as their dominant function, especially if this is mutual as in the case with our corresponding S type.
There was a study done asking people of various types how satisfied they were in their relationships with whatever type they were in, and there was a surprising trend. Most N types reported the most satisfaction within their own type or corresponding introvert or extrovert. INFJ satisfaction with ENTPs wasn't even listed as favorable, while ENTP satisfaction with INFJs was at the bottom of the favorable list. Not surprisingly, ENTPs reported being satisfied in relationships with most types, while INFJs reported favorable averages only toward INFJs, ENFJs, and INFPs - which barely made the cut. Clearly we INFJs are a lot fussier than ENTPs. The mirage is that ENTPs tend to be happy with INFJs, but INFJs tend not to be happy with ENTPs. I would be willing to bet this is because the INFJ has a natural reflex to put the happiness and well being their significant other first, while the ENTP tends to put their own enjoyment first. This can be a very beneficial relationship for the ENTP as it seems both partners have the same goal - making the ENTP happy, but the INFJ will likely tire of not having their own needs met and eventually leave, often without explaining why, leaving the ENTP to wonder what happened when everything was going so well.
So, for the sake of being thorough...
ENTP's best matches are
ENTP,
INTP,
ENFP,
INTJ, possibly ESFJ, ENTJ, INFP, ENFJ, with INFJ being least on the list of matches that could work.
INFJ's best matches are
INFJ,
ENFJ,
INFP,
INTJ, possibly ISTP, INTP, ENFP, ENTJ, with ENTP being least on the list of matches that could work.
