Is the ENTP-INFJ thing a mirage?!

myself said:
i need an entp woman

please!

help me find you

you are out there i know it

we are supposed to be doing great things

lets all get together and have a fantastic party

add me
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Here she goes:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brG77DsAA4Y"]YouTube- entp[/ame]
 
In a relationship with an ENTP girl now -- everything Nobleheart has said has been very true to my experience. I've been in relationships with ENFPs, an INTJ (far and away the best), an ENTJ, and an ENTP. Of the above, my ENTP relationship feels the most strained, the most unnatural, and I feel as though I -really- need to stretch the limits of what I can normally accept to not want to walk. I'm sure I'm a strain on her as well.

There is an undeniable chemistry there, but the chemistry seems to manifest itself as mutual frustration as much as attraction. The only thing that seems consistent is that we can't stop talking to one another. That can be good or bad. There's a natural combativeness in her that I can tolerate, but if our analytical conversation turns on to either of us, or the relationship, it can get ugly.

Happy to answer any questions about the dynamic if anyone is curious. However, after examining this relationship and being friends with many ENTPs, I personally tend to think that ENTPs would probably be happier with someone a little more their side of the scale and vice-versa with INFJs.

I can see how ENTP/INFJ could work (wouldn't be in a relationship now if I didn't :)), but the maturity/acceptance level between the two has to be incredibly well developed.

I would love to date an INTP sometime. I've always been curious because it seems like all my closest friends are INTPs, but they're also all guys.
 
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Am I the only INFJ who doesn't trust the ENTPs? Granted, I don't know any in real life. But, I don't think I could trust feelings coming from an ENTP. I would think they would find someone else to have feelings for quickly.
 
CoffeeShopDiva said:
Am I the only INFJ who doesn't trust the ENTPs? Granted, I don't know any in real life. But, I don't think I could trust feelings coming from an ENTP. I would think they would find someone else to have feelings for quickly.
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No your not the only one. I don't know if I could feel safe with an ENTP in a relationship. But for me its mostly their in ability to slow down and their constant craziness worries me. I have enough issues.lol
 
I think understanding the person as a type can be helpful, but it's the person who ultimately needs to be understood, if both are willing to understand and consider the "real" needs of the others, and work on learning to balance needs and expectations, then however seemingly conflicting, the relationship could probably work. But both would need to understand and respect differences and realize the important of seeing from each perspective and meeting their partner's social and emotional needs.
 
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From what I've read, the first letter in the MBTI type is generally irrelevant when it comes to compatibility.

When I took psychology last semester the professor actually said that while it is more common for couples to have one introvert and one extrovert, that statistics show that relationships where both partners have the same preference here last longer and tend to be happier. People also seek those more similar to them when seeking mates later in life, once they understand themselves better.


In general I think INFJs are better matched with INTPs, at least for long term relationships. Ours are probably the two deepest types, and a fellow introvert would probably better provide the intimacy INFJs typically to desire. INTPs are always willing to slow down and listen to those they love. We pay attention and often remember the details of our conversations for many years. We may not express our feelings as easily, but we analyze and thus understand them better and when we open up we open up completely. Fe is our aspirational function rather than relief role, so we are deeply driven to make relationships work instead of wanting to use socialization to provide validation when feeling stressed.


(My first love was an INFJ, but it was always unrequited. I recently made contact with her again and while there is clearly no chance for romance between us we have had several great phone conversations and become good friends and confidants. I don't have test result to tell me so, but I suspect the girl I'm currently thinking of asking out is an INFJ as well.)
 
CoffeeShopDiva said:
I would think they would find someone else to have feelings for quickly.
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I can't speak for anyone else, but this just isn't true for me at all. I don't know if it's because my extroversion is only medium-strength, but although I can have warm feelings for lots of people, they absolutely do NOT have the same quality. Imagine concentric circles.


When someone is very special to me, they are locked in a completely different sphere. And it takes a lot for that to happen.
 
I have a close friend who is an ENTP and I could definitely see myself with one. I think it's a good match.

yepunsarang said:
How about INTPs and INFJs?
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I dated someone who we typed as an INTP but I'm not certain if she was an INTP or ENTP....either way we were VERY well matched. She had her own MAJOR issues, so it did not work out, but I think it would have otherwise.
 
Res said:
I think understanding the person as a type can be helpful, but it's the person who ultimately needs to be understood, if both are willing to understand and consider the "real" needs of the others, and work on learning to balance needs and expectations, then however seemingly conflicting, the relationship could probably work. But both would need to understand and respect differences and realize the important of seeing from each perspective and meeting their partner's social and emotional needs.
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Agree.
 
One of my best female friends is an ENTP, and I've gotta say, I couldn't date that Myers Briggs. We talk Myers Briggs, life, love, and happiness all the time, but the conclusions a ton of the time is "I just don't understand how you think!" Don't get me wrong, it's great to be well rounded and get a flip side opinion on things, but for long term romance, I personally wouldn't be able to handle it. I will say that you should at least try to make friends with an ENTP, as they totally do watch your blind side. I can call my friend and say "what am I missing here", and she'll give me a flip side opinion on most anything, which I do appreciate. I don't agree with her lots of times, but I can respectfully disagree with her approach to things.

Those charts that say date INFJ/ENJF/ENFP- forget 'em. It's more about finding people at the right time in both of your lives, and having someone who wants to work on the relationship with you.

Personally as an INFJ male- I need to date an E, as it challenges my I to pull out of its shell. My F is super duper strong, and I've dated T's and really appreciated how they think differently, but always found it to be a struggle when we butted heads. I can't date Ps. N or S really don't matter. I guess that means that I need ENFJ, ESFJ, ENTJ, or ESTJ.

For what it's worth, I'm dating an ESFJ right now (supposedly one of the bad matches), and loving every minute of it...
 
I can't stand dating anyone who's E, as it wears me out and we don't do the same things for fun. If we can't play together in the same way, how do we play together at all? I prefer to stick with fellow I's. "Being challenged" is something I can only stand in small bits on occation, and not all day everyday, all coming from the person who's suppose to make me feel calm and safe.
What I need out of a partner is an increase in total sanity, so S and T. If you want the E's outgoingness, I'd rather have it in the form of spontaneity, P. So yeah, ISTP ftw! The S, T and P all combine to help kill my general worrying tendencies too, and bring me down to earth. This "Helps", not "challenges" (aka stresses out).
 
The best girlfriend I ever had was another INFJ. I think INTP would be a good match but ENTP? I'm not so sure. I know 2 ENTP girls IRL and they both terrify me.
 
DoveAlexa said:
What I need out of a partner is an increase in total sanity, so S and T. If you want the E's outgoingness, I'd rather have it in the form of spontaneity, P. So yeah, ISTP ftw! The S, T and P all combine to help kill my general worrying tendencies too, and bring me down to earth. This "Helps", not "challenges" (aka stresses out).
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I'm very good at helping people to put things in perspective, calming them down when they're freaking out, or cheering them up when they're down, but I can be incredibly chaotic in a way that people either find endearing or mind-boggling.

So not sure how much sanity I can offer. I can offer fun though.:m168:
 
DoveAlexa said:
I can't stand dating anyone who's E, as it wears me out and we don't do the same things for fun. If we can't play together in the same way, how do we play together at all? I prefer to stick with fellow I's. "Being challenged" is something I can only stand in small bits on occation, and not all day everyday, all coming from the person who's suppose to make me feel calm and safe.
What I need out of a partner is an increase in total sanity, so S and T. If you want the E's outgoingness, I'd rather have it in the form of spontaneity, P. So yeah, ISTP ftw! The S, T and P all combine to help kill my general worrying tendencies too, and bring me down to earth. This "Helps", not "challenges" (aka stresses out).
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I have to agree on not being a huge E for me to date them. Moderate is fine but I can't stand it if we constantly going and doing.
 
Do INFJs and ENTPs really go well with each other? I honestly want to think yes.

As an INFJ who's met a couple of ENTPs, I don't see why not. The INFJ side of the relationship is that I can tell what it is you want and I can see what it is your trying to do to get it. Therefore your heartless ENTP tactics are just going to be deflected off into nothingness unless you decide to show some compassion. And when they do decide to show some compassion it can be amazing. ENTPs have a way of keeping things from getting boring. They keep me intellectually stimulated. And they can always tell me how I feel, which is an AMAZING breathe of fresh air as I rarely feel understood ever.

Of course, I only really know these ENTPs on a surface level. Maybe intimately it's totally different.

But I respectfully disagree with what's been said about it being something you have to work for. I find it to be the opposite, it's something I play for.

I really don't think I've given ENTPs justice in this post. You guys are (/can be) awesome.
 
Also, ENTPs are the only type who can tell me how I feel better than I can. So how would this not just be amazing intimately?
 
TurtleTrooper said:
Also, ENTPs are the only type who can tell me how I feel better than I can. So how would this not just be amazing intimately?
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exactly amazingly intimate

i have never had another friend like my buddy jose

we can be together and be silent for hours, knowing that a great convo is coming, and the silence is ok

i can feel like i am completely alone, and he is there with me

that is how comfortable i am with this guy

i feel like we are the same person, just exercising different ways to be

his works for him and mine works for me, and we compliment each other extremely well

we can learn a lot from each other

we both need each other to help us grow

it is a beautiful thing

i can talk to him about anything
i can completely be myself
and i know he is giving the same

never had another friend like it

ours is an exceptionally rare level of friendship

we got there through a lot of tests and trials

he even rubbed me the wrong way at first
i had to check myself
and he would check me too

dont take offense to these entps
they are here to show you something about yourself

we are here for each other

no shit...
last week jose even saved my life

a solid character to have around

get yourself an entp buddy
it could change your life
 
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