What Arbitrary Thing Are You?

[hush]

Being a dirty hooker sounds more fun than being a box of hangers.

Giiiirrrl, boxes of hangers got it goin' on!

Everybody wants to hang with you.

 

[Misadventure]

You got: A Handful Of Beans

You’re a handful of beans! You’re so full of possibility–nutrition, protein, the hope for the future harvest. You’re so simple and yet so beautiful.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So we have beans at every meal!1

or

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
Down your pants and in your boot 1

or

Beans, beans, the magical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So why not have beans for every meal?

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the happier/better you feel
So let's eat beans with every meal1

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

or



Beans, beans, they give you gas
They make you fart, and burn your ass
The more you eat, the more it hurts
So slow down your eating to stop the squirts

Beans, beans, the magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot
This line can also be replaced with: "So eat them beans at every meal"

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
the more you eat the more you fart
the more you fart the better you feel