I think everyone needs to take a deep breath. While I don't agree with Artemisia's perspectives, it seems like she's genuinely having some trouble seeing everyone else's point of view. While that can be frustrating for those who have initially tried to explain themselves calmly, especially given the delicate subject matter, I am growing a bit concerned with how each compounding reply to the thread is getting sharper and more accusatory even before Artemisia got a chance to reply. If it's an entire group of people against one person, I think it's pretty human to want to defend yourself and you're not going to sound very rational doing it. That and I think most us do want to help Artemisia see how her approach is problematic and gain a bit of self-awareness in order to help her in situations like this in the future.
@Artemisia, I think the main point everyone is trying to make is that it's unfair to make judgments about an entire subsection of a population based on a small sample of anecdotal evidence that is not only highly subjective, but questionable in its verity. Given your manner in this thread (and indeed, the behaviour patterns you showcase in other threads on the forum), I think most people are questioning your initial assessment of the situation. It may be unpleasant to hear this about yourself, but you tend to come off as having a bit of a superiority complex. It is obvious that value your intelligence highly and I think your PhD is indeed testament to your abilities as a student and hard worker, but I think you would also benefit from some humility. A higher education does not grant you universal objectivity nor does it automatically mean that every conclusion come by a formulaic application of an x-study to y-situation is correct just because one or two points in an essay reflect your subjective experience. You may not have clicked into it yet, but the reason people's feathers are getting so ruffled is because this is exactly how prejudices are born and you don't seem to have the objectivity and self-awareness that you think you do to even see it.
See, *any* group of people can get catty and gossipy about a person for all sorts of reasons. You looked at this situation, saw that this was a group of feminine gay men and concluded that the *only* possible reason for this behaviour was because you are straight and female and they are not. Then you went hunting around for some sort of evidence to support your conclusion and assumed your limited experience must be something universal. I hope you can see how that is cringe-worthy just on its own, and what kind of character this conclusion paints.
I understand that you may be feeling othered and excluded by this particular group of people and you want to understand why, but you might want to also consider if there may be something in your approach to other people and your manner that is causing all these problems for you.
I know other people have stated this is in other words, but hopefully, another try will see that you understand. It would also help if you did show some willingness to at least consider what we are trying to tell you.
I wish you well
