[INFJ] Is door slamming a conscious decision?

ClevelandINTP said:
Yeah, the omission leaves a sense of limbo. Certainly doesn't provide closure for a clean slam
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Do you get the sense it's purely an INFJ thing though?

Door slamming is definitely a phenomenon but I sometimes wonder why it's attributed only/mostly to INFJs. For one, I've seen ENFPs 'practice' it too.
 
Ren said:
Do you get the sense it's purely an INFJ thing though?

Door slamming is definitely a phenomenon but I sometimes wonder why it's attributed only/mostly to INFJs. For one, I've seen ENFPs 'practice' it too.
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The omission or the slam?

The omission is not an INFJ thing; however, the slam is more unique to the INFJ. An omission feels a little disingenuous considering the slam comes across as a righteous, here-comes-the-truth-whether-you-like-it-or-not sort of moment

In fact, I wonder subconsciously if the INFJ wants the slamee to check back at some time to better understand the omission

I'm not sure if ENFPs are capable of slamming anything
 
ClevelandINTP said:
The omission or the slam?

The omission is not an INFJ thing; however, the slam is more unique to the INFJ. An omission feels a little disingenuous considering the slam comes across as a righteous, here-comes-the-truth-whether-you-like-it-or-not sort of moment

In fact, I wonder subconsciously if the INFJ wants the slamee to check back at some time to better understand the omission
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The slam is the form of the decision, I feel the omission is more the substance of it, and that substance includes punishment.

There is definitely an intentional, punitive side to the omission. But I also think, looking back at my own experiences of door slamming, that in going for the omission, the INFJ confirms to themselves that they made the right choice, by choosing a method that pre-emptively shuts out the possibility of being told they were wrong.
 
Yeah, I know what you're saying. Not to beat a drum, but that opens the door to confirmation bias and ego crap

Which is really an act of righteousness

Do you really think the omission is that deliberate as a punishment? That feels like that could be more self-preservation and lacking courage
 
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ClevelandINTP said:
Do you really think the omission is that deliberate as a punishment? That feels like that could be more self-preservation and lacking courage
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You're right, I was probably extrapolating too much from my own experience.

There isn't always a punitive side to it, though there can be.
 
ClevelandINTP said:
This sounds really selfish, sorry. Like it only counts if it counts for you



Feels like it comes from a place of conflict avoidance and keeping harmony. The irony is the door slam accomplishes neither between those two souls, so I urge INFJs to consider giving that some real thought

Are you saying it's brutal because the slamee thinks it's out of nowhere? Honestly, it's more brutal if you're putting a lot of thought behind it, and then that is what you come up with
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Personally, I think the doorslam is a very ego driven response, kind of like feeling one is always right. I think the doorslam is very different than letting people go who are harmful to you. The former is more dramatic and self-centered, like slamming the door to your bedroom because you are mad your parents won't let you go out with your friends. I recommend anyone, regardless of type to move beyond such things. The doorslam is not very constructive and is filled with anger and resentment. Close doors if you must. Move on if you must, but give room for people to reenter your life after they have changed or developed. We all were less mature than we are now. Other people are no different.
 
ThomasJ79 said:
Personally, I think the doorslam is a very ego driven response, kind of like feeling one is always right. I think the doorslam is very different than letting people go who are harmful to you. The former is more dramatic and self-centered, like slamming the door to your bedroom because you are mad your parents won't let you go out with your friends. I recommend anyone, regardless of type to move beyond such things. The doorslam is not very constructive and is filled with anger and resentment. Close doors if you must. Move on if you must, but give room for people to reenter your life after they have changed or developed. We all were less mature than we are now. Other people are no different.
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For me, it is a conscious decision. It is cold but it is not a 'tactic.' If I doorslam someone, I want to distance myself from them. I don't want to care what they think. Doorslamming as a tactic implies that I secretly want them to come back and show me they care. It is not a true doorslam if that is the case.
 
seems that I wake up one morning and it's done. .wasn't anything I put a lot of thought into, it just happened, and now I move on
 
ClevelandINTP said:
Sorry, man. No worries I'm sure you meant well. I don't really question the intentions behind these things too much
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Oh I know, don't worry :)

Though I do think there must be some kind of relation between between my fearful-avoidant type of attachment and the punitive form that my door slams can sometimes take.
 
ClevelandINTP said:
I mean, I was half-joking, but that dom Ne is pretty open-minded, and right or wrong, geared for unlimited chances and possibilities

They are pretty much hippies and kids at heart
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That sounds pretty awesome tbh
 
Ren said:
That sounds pretty awesome tbh
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Eh, the hippie and kid part is fun. It's nice to be around someone as understanding as you. They can be extremely flighty. Everything is a six month experiment to them until they find something else that catches their eye. That's totally cool for ideas and experiences, not so much when it comes to people
 
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Perhaps extreme but pretty relatable. Taken from Reddit
 

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ClevelandINTP said:
Eh, the hippie and kid part is fun. It's nice to be around someone as understanding as you. They can be extremely flighty. Everything is a six month experiment to them until they find something else that catches their eye. That's totally cool for ideas and experiences, not so much when it comes to people
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I'm going on dates with an ENFP at the moment, this is very reassuring Cleveland thank you :laughing::tearsofjoy:
 
Ren said:
I'm going on dates with an ENFP at the moment, this is very reassuring Cleveland thank you :laughing::tearsofjoy:
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Good luck, man. I have no real beef with ENFPs, and perhaps the Ti critical eye rears it's head. They can do the whole enneagram 4-drama-keepin-it-real thing just as bad as INFJs. It's fun for dating especially the initial part

True test for them is when things get serious. Serious isn't the first thing that pops in my head when I think of ENFP
 
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