So in an age of equality why don't women make the first move?
It's not that women
refuse to make the first move, it's more like they often don't have to. The strong, confident male that they would pick out of the crowd usually steps up to the plate before they do. The majority of women find being approached by a confident man very appealing. On the flip-side, a lot of men
do not like being approached by a woman. While they maybe flattered, in the long run, the majority of men prefer the chase and most women know this to be true.
Shouldn't women approach guys as much as guys approach women?
I'm not for 'shoulding' anyone to do anything. For instance, I don't think that guys
should be obligated to approach women. but at the same time, I acknowledge that the reality of the situation is that a man who chooses to be approached rather than approach won't be as successful as a man who takes the initiative. It has nothing to do with 'equality.' It has to do with what is generally attractive to women versus what is generally attractive to men.
Unlike shy women, shy guys and wallflowers rarely get attention from the type of woman who would approach a man because those women are typically looking for a partner who would
challenge them. Men who seem shy or disinterested aren't going to get approached if they are not exuding strength or the confidence factor that most women look for.
Women, on the other hand, frequently get approached because a woman is more often evaluated based on her physical appeal and femininity. There is nothing she really needs to 'do' to attract a mate because being a lady (whether she is shy or assertive) is a rather universal appeal.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but I hope most will realize that I'm speaking generally here.
If guys always make the first move and if many guys are too shy or sensitive to make the first move then is that why 'nice guys always come last' because under such a cultural norm the more assertive and aggressive males would be the ones approaching women and therefore having the most success?
Cultural norms aren't just willy nilly plucked out of the air. Sometimes they have evolutionary roots.
A man's attractiveness is frequently based on his abilities to assert himself as a protector. If he has trouble approaching a woman, how in the heck is he going to be able to protect her? Women prefer men who appear competent and confident above all else. This is why its not so unusual to sometimes spot a gorgeous gal with a troll. In these situations, the unfortunate looking gentleman likely demonstrated an aptitude and confidence that initially attracted her to him over the typical beefhead.
The reverse, however, is rare as women are evaluated based on their looks and what attracts that particular man to her. Whether she's shy, she's confident, whether she is intelligent and well-rounded doesn't really matter. She's going to appeal to a man out there somewhere simply by the virtue of being of a woman.
Is this sort of thing fair? Nope. But then, few things in love and life are. For example, no amount of 'ra ra ra feminism' and 'fat acceptance' ads are going to make larger women more attractive to the men who naturally prefer their slimmer, fitter counterparts. Much the same way, no amount of 'equality' is going to give the shy guys and wallflowers the edge when women are more naturally drawn to the more assertive male.
