Biggest Source of Frustration as an INFJ

[Eniko]

These posts, particularly the first few, are spot on for me.

What causes me pain the most as an INFJ? The depth I can achieve in relationships. Isn't that a good thing? No, not always. Once I'm in a deep relationship with someone it's extremely hard for me to get out again, and I've suffered pretty terribly when I was in a deep relationship with people who turned out abusive or damaged to the point where they wound up hurting me, and was unable to get out in an expedient fashion.

Nowadays I keep a really tight reign on those intense feelings I can get at the start of a fulfilling relationship so if the other person turns out to be someone who'll hurt me I won't be in too deep to extract myself. And god is that hard.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

I'll agree with that.

I guess to sum in up, I really find relationships just plain frustrating :|

 

[Little Brother]

I Am Often Misunderstood

What is the greatest source of pain and/or frustration in an INFJ's personal and/or professional life?

I am often misunderstood. It's not easy for to explain to others why I do the things that I do. People place me in the weird or quirky category.

Another fustrating trait of mine is that I tend to make decisions based on my feelings.

 

[TaylorS]

My biggest frustration is not being understood. I'll have a brilliant idea and then when I talk about it people look at me like I'm nuts. I'm Bipolar so I often get comments like "Are you OK or are you being a bit manic?". :frusty:

The biggest source of pain is when a friend or loved one experience something horrible, I've been hit with a double whammy of this recently because a physically handicapped friend of mine was raped not too long ago and my step-dad is in the hospital in a coma recovering from Pancreatitis. :hurt:

 

[sedna]

biggest source of frustration: being ahead of my time

 

[Fireflies-free]

Wow. I relate to almost everything mentioned in this thread! It's always a relief to know that there are others like me.

To add to or reinforce what's already been said:

Being able to read/understand people and situations too easily is sometimes difficult. It gets in the way of normal interaction in a way, and makes me feel almost intrusive. Sometimes when people are talking, or telling me what or why they did something, I instinctively know what they're going to say, and it can be almost frustrating because I can't just say "yeah I know". Or, I can't tell them how or why I know something. It's almost like I have to pretend to be surprised or pretend like I'm trying to process the situation.

Feeling like I'm from another planet or don't belong in this world. I can't connect with many aspects of society because I just see past/through them, and they hold no desire. It's frustrating to see people making mistakes, being shortsighted and unwise when I just don't understand how they can't see what I do. And, I don't like to assume I know best, I have no right to believe I do, so I tend to hold back. Either way, whether I am the one that is wrong or right, I feel different.

The contradictory personality - in many aspects. But mainly, my extreme introversion coupled with my extreme desire to connect with and make a differenece to people. The most important thing to me in life is people. No doubt about it. However, I don't feel I've mastered this balance yet. I'm working on it.

Oh, and the inability to express what I know/feel. I often sound very inarticulate! I guess it's the intuition, we often don't know how we know - we just know!

 

[Tamagochi]

Oh, and the inability to express what I know/feel. I often sound very inarticulate! I guess it's the intuition, we often don't know how we know - we just know!

On the contrary that was a really articulate post. You summed it all up perfectly

 

[Zero Angel]

Isolation, I'd say. I have this huge frustration with connecting with people and distancing myself from them, and it's often as if I'm alone in the way I think or feel or perceive things, even if there are others around me. This happens especially when I don't have a support system of at least one really good friend.

And life sucks if I don't.

Agreed. Actually it is the self-protective instinct TO isolate. I swear there are days when I don't want to interact with anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone, I dont even wanna look at people. I just wanna be in my own world. Of course there have been situations where i've been like that and a friend would call me on skype or MSN me while I would dread it in the first few seconds we would actually have a good chat and in the end i'd be in a happier mental state than I would be prior to their call.

So therefore my urge to isolate is maladaptive, and thus really frustrating!

 

[TaylorS]

Wow. I relate to almost everything mentioned in this thread! It's always a relief to know that there are others like me.

To add to or reinforce what's already been said:

Being able to read/understand people and situations too easily is sometimes difficult. It gets in the way of normal interaction in a way, and makes me feel almost intrusive. Sometimes when people are talking, or telling me what or why they did something, I instinctively know what they're going to say, and it can be almost frustrating because I can't just say "yeah I know". Or, I can't tell them how or why I know something. It's almost like I have to pretend to be surprised or pretend like I'm trying to process the situation.

Feeling like I'm from another planet or don't belong in this world. I can't connect with many aspects of society because I just see past/through them, and they hold no desire. It's frustrating to see people making mistakes, being shortsighted and unwise when I just don't understand how they can't see what I do. And, I don't like to assume I know best, I have no right to believe I do, so I tend to hold back. Either way, whether I am the one that is wrong or right, I feel different.

The contradictory personality - in many aspects. But mainly, my extreme introversion coupled with my extreme desire to connect with and make a differenece to people. The most important thing to me in life is people. No doubt about it. However, I don't feel I've mastered this balance yet. I'm working on it.

Oh, and the inability to express what I know/feel. I often sound very inarticulate! I guess it's the intuition, we often don't know how we know - we just know!

This is the story of my life, LOL.

 

[Appoggiatura]

-getting misunderstood and misconstrued

i.e. my mom thinks i'm being all snobby and too-good-for-anyone when i just feel nosy for asking questions and prying into someone's business.
the last thing i am is a snob. i've had zero self-confidence for the longest time until just recently.

-can't trust people easily or fully

it's not like i even got betrayed majorly by anyone. it's just that i just can't trust many people with sensitive information. it could be that my family scoffed at me when i tried to tell them seriously that i tried to commit suicide before...and so i just gave up even trying to make them listen. and i've got friends, but i don't tell them that many things about me either...like, no one knows that my dad had a brain tumor and an operation 4 years ago or that i had depression...i don't mean to seem all mysterious and crap...i just don't feel like burdening other people with my problems, but like i said before, my intentions are misconstrued as an indication of how "antisocial" and secretive i am.
so far, only my sister and my boyfriend know the most about me. thank goodness i have them.

-too complex

i'm glad that i'm not just a simple person, but really, how complex and contradictory my mindset, my nature, my character and everything gets to be too much at a point. it's a headache to decipher and come to terms with how i am sometimes. i.e. i am a "people person" inside; i love interacting with people...yet i am also so gosh-darn shy...and that is so ridiculously frustrating, frustrating !, to me

 

[OrangeSkies]

_

 

[OrangeSkies]

People to connect with is my biggest frustration. I've found what I need and want in friendships and relationships - is in short supply. That is depth.

As I journey through life often I see only fragments of people peeking out behind their walls in my day to day interactions. Its so frustrating. I think our culture (United States) also strongly encourages a lack of depth. Keeping people fixated on Paris Hilton allows people to make money.

I need more than discussion of Britney Spears and who's hot in People Magazine.

That is very true Virgoess. The U.S. media often brainwashes people into being consumed by looks and the "latest fad." Unfortunately, this leads to less meaningful interaction and individuals who can only define themselves by the superficial.

 

[AUM]

My biggest frustration is when people just want to feed their ego and feel that they're this awesome person. Do I really care? not really.Do I do this?absolutely but believe me, not the way you're thinking. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[evalura]

YES. i frequently do not what to do when other girls discuss celebrity gossip, who's hot on campus, the clothes they want, makeup, hair...etc. i don't have anything against topics like those, in fact sometimes they are interesting, but i have such a lack of focus on those areas that it's really very draining a conversation to sit through.

It's the same when you're older. You'll be at a gathering watching everyone else having fun and laughing it up over conversation that you've already gotten bored of. We're more into meaningful conversation. I'm good for about 10 minutes on idle chit chat.

 

[RetardedMonkey]

My biggest frustration is people not "getting" me. If that makes any sense.

 

[Solstice]

My biggest frustration is people not "getting" me. If that makes any sense.

It makes sense. We all "get" what you mean.

Another thing that frustrates me is when I specifically know something bad is going to happen, but it happens so fast that I don't have time to prevent it. Like I'll see that someone is most likely going to fall, but before I can warn them it happens a second after thinking it.

 

[Julia]

Having my mind race through every possible vantage point and getting stuck in a negative one because it's the one I fear and feel the need to prepare for.

 

[Bt4fl]

ENTP... my ideas and beliefs being ignored or attacked...

 

[Vex]

Making bad decisions relation-wise under emotional strain is a thing that occur too often.

Another thing is the idea that if I could, I would run the whole world better than the politicians only to realize that I'm only one amongst 6 billion. But I'm still hoping to leave a footprint

I've always been the quiet friend who is always supporting. The problem is that I don't think my friends know how much their emotional downpour affects me. But I will always be there because I care about them. This catch-22 sounds INFJ-y right.

 

[Ookami]

INFJ: "I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I in my childhood. The one thing that could never, ever possibly destroy us. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man."

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