Biggest Source of Frustration as an INFJ

Not being able to fully grasp my own theories
 
I think I mentioned this before.

But it bears being repeating.

Being ignored even when you know your right. You know they say everyone has opinion. The problem is people feel its ok to have a wrong opinion and continiue on as if its the right one. Granted right might mean logically or morally right but still.

Its so damn frustrating when people speed rhetoric , stupidity, misinformation or are just flat out wrong. These people are listened to and fallowed because of their charisma. People love twisting things to their prospective and never admit you where right and they where wrong. I hate the spread of wrong information and when you know your wrong you do not have an excuse.

People think they see the big picture but really they just lie to themselves and they see what they think they wish to see.

Its sad when you see someone is living a lie and they are fine with it. And they spread that lie to others.

I think this post makes me sound slightly T but none the less I'm so sick of this.

Just because your loud and charming dosen't mean you know jack. And just becasue I don't bombard you with my knowledge and I'm not as loud. Dosen't mean I know little or nothing.
 
Julia said:
Another frustration is functioning more easily at a core level than a surface level. It seems so important in social interactions to be able to repeat all the expected sayings and do the little rituals based on norms. In a way people appear somewhat primal in their motivations when I interact with them. I can kind of tell when a person wants to haul off and hit or slap, but society's rules moderates that behavior. I can sometimes tell when someone wants to intrude or cross boundaries, but doesn't because of consequences, etc. In a way it makes people more threatening than when you are able to dismiss that core and just trust in social conventions and not look below the surface.
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When I watch the way other people behave in social situations, trying to keep their behaviors in line with the mold, what they're "supposed to do" and how they are "supposed to behave", sometimes I feel like I'm watching actors in a play. It feels so fake.
 
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What frustrates me is how people tend to avoid eye contact and walk as if I they never saw me. This happens on a daily basis. Yesterday, I was standing in the doorway when this woman came in. She looked everywhere except at me. She must of knew I was standing there because she went around me to get to the other side of the lobby.

What's funny is, she needed my help moments later. That's when she came up to me and asked a question.
 
I get frustrated when people persistently tell me that what I believe or say is wrong.
Also, when people want me to respond right away, and get impatient if I can't think of something in milliseconds.
Complaining about the inevitable also really annoys me.
 
Jonathan said:
I get frustrated when people persistently tell me that what I believe or say is wrong.
Also, when people want me to respond right away, and get impatient if I can't think of something in milliseconds.
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exactly this....

when I choose to say something, it is after a great deal of reflection. I just don't blab out stuff for the sake of blabbing.

hence the question issue. if a person wants a true answer out of me, I should be able to think about it first. Most issues are not black and white in the world. I don't understand why people can't see that.
 
I find it frustrating to be confronted with a situation where I have to explain something that is very complex/nuanced and I know full well that my audience has no clue at all what I'm talking about. I have learned to avoid such situations in a formal setting.
 
I am often frustrated at myself for my patterns of withdrawal in social situations. I realize my aloofness is sort of a subconscious defense mechanism, but I sometimes use it when I don't need it. I also think I sometimes convey messages that I do not mean to convey.
 
I tend to be withdrawn and easily overwhelmed in social situations, where there's a chance i become the center of attention. I become self conscious and too darned socially uncomfortable and awkward. I need to help myself learn how not to be so nervous around other people.
 
Jonathan said:
Also, when people want me to respond right away, and get impatient if I can't think of something in milliseconds.
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That's a big one for me, and I don't believe I am taking all that much time. What is wrong with taking just a moment, a second or two really to put together a thoughtful response?
It happens most when I am on the phone when my opinion, or a question of a technical nature is asked. "Are you there?" the person on the other end will impatiently ask.
When the situation is reversed I don't think there is a problem and ask the other person to hurry up. I know they are forming their thoughts.
 
People never believe me. I'm not sure why people take what I have with a grain of salt, but they do, and it often bites them in the ass in the end. Oh well.
 
Little Brother said:
What frustrates me is how people tend to avoid eye contact and walk as if I they never saw me. This happens on a daily basis. Yesterday, I was standing in the doorway when this woman came in. She looked everywhere except at me. She must of knew I was standing there because she went around me to get to the other side of the lobby.

What's funny is, she needed my help moments later. That's when she came up to me and asked a question.
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I think people do this when they need help but don't want to ask. I often think that we wear an invisible sign that reads "I can help you". I randomly get this reaction from total strangers a lot. Where you in a situation where you were automatically in a role to help? Or was it just a random thing?



Anyway, I wanted to add "when people won't listen" to the list... everyone from friends asking advice (and then choosing to frame what you said to fit the idea they already have - and yes, I'm aware that I'm often guilty of this too) to the pharmacist who is billing your insurance wrong even though you're telling them the right way. Argh.

On a larger scale, some of the problems that humanity as a whole faces seem so simple to solve - yet no one seems to care enough to listen to the other side of the debate - or even make sure the information they based their decisions on in the first place is accurate -, so wars rage on...



middle1 said:
People never believe me. I'm not sure why people take what I have with a grain of salt, but they do, and it often bites them in the ass in the end. Oh well.
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:nod:
 
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middle1 said:
People never believe me. I'm not sure why people take what I have with a grain of salt, but they do, and it often bites them in the ass in the end. Oh well.
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I wish my words were worth a grain of salt.
 
waterbaby said:
I think people do this when they need help but don't want to ask. I often think that we wear an invisible sign that reads "I can help you". I randomly get this reaction from total strangers a lot. Where you in a situation where you were automatically in a role to help? Or was it just a random thing?:nod:
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I work in a visitor's center. Actually, now that I think about it, when she came in, I was standing in the middle of the lobby. But when she had a question, I was at the information desk when she approached. But she must of saw me before I saw her, because when she came in, she didn't look at me at all.
 
under skies said:
I am often frustrated at myself for my patterns of withdrawal in social situations. I realize my aloofness is sort of a subconscious defense mechanism, but I sometimes use it when I don't need it. I also think I sometimes convey messages that I do not mean to convey.
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Very much the same. People often mistake my "aloofness" for meanness when i'm just trying to be respectful.

MindYourHead said:
What is wrong with taking just a moment, a second or two really to put together a thoughtful response?
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Agree. We need to be more sensitive to this. I'm always conscious when someone is impatient with me because i'm thinking through my thoughts.

waterbaby said:
I think people do this when they need help but don't want to ask. I often think that we wear an invisible sign that reads "I can help you". I randomly get this reaction from total strangers a lot. Where you in a situation where you were automatically in a role to help? Or was it just a random thing?

Anyway, I wanted to add "when people won't listen" to the list... everyone from friends asking advice (and then choosing to frame what you said to fit the idea they already have - and yes, I'm aware that I'm often guilty of this too) to the pharmacist who is billing your insurance wrong even though you're telling them the right way. Argh.


:nod:
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Yep, i often wonder if i'm really that approachable.

And i've become more irritated with someone who tells me something they've learned as if it's surprising and new, when i told them the same thing weeks if not months ago.
 
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I seem to the most frustrated when I'm trying to teach someone something or talk to someone and they think I'm talking DOWN to them.. :|
 
1. I sometimes listen to myself talking and I hold out a vowel for longer than I wanted to or I sound more negative than I mean to, or I just say something in the wrong way... I just get frustrated when I can't convey what I mean to.
2. Many people don't have as much respect for me and what I say as I think I've earned and deserve. And if they say I'm wrong, I get very angry and have to walk away. I am really very certain that I am right. And if stay, and logically show the person why they're wrong... and they still don't believe me, they deserve whatever comes to them.
3. I do have people just walk by me and ask someone else for help, when I am the one clearly in the position to help. Why??? Drives me crazy.
4. "the truth that almost everybody subscribes to is fake. And it drives me crazy to see so many people living a lie and never questioning it. It's like I'm the protagonist of a dystopian novel, the only one able to see how messed up it is" This, often. But if you bring it up, it only seems to make things worse for you.
5. Extremes. (Super loud music, really bright reds, someone wearing too much jewelry and once, an entire room covered in floral patterns not just the walls or curtains, etc.)

There's my list...
 
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