If life gives you...

You save money on mothballs.

If life gave you an acute sense of smell - - -
 
Get the same job as a police dog and bust drug dealers for a living.

If life gives you the most compatible with you person on earth...
 
Tell them you love them!

If life give you itchy feet...
 
...itch your nose instead to teach them a lesson.

If life gives a moldy half eaten sandwich...
 
name it Lucifer, give it steroids, give it to an unsuspecting cat lover, and watch the hilarity ensue.


If life gives you a unreliable USB hub...
 
build a ski park.

If life tells you that you are small but have no idea how large you really are....
 
either put them in their place or find a new job.

If life gives you a sunny cool day....
 
Pop 2 advil, chase it with a cola, and put a cold compress on your neck.

If life gives you a sunny day...
 
you hope that it also gives you a sunny day.

If life gives you a nice smile...
 
you use it to charm and manipulate your way into power.

If life gives you nothing...
 
..you make something out of it

If life gives you a dead fish...
 
feed it to your dog - they'll love you forever.

(for the lulz:
[video=youtube;g8ufRnf2Exc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8ufRnf2Exc[/video] )

when life gives you a poor night's sleep....
 
Stop fighting the insomnia and take the precious quiet hours for yourself.

If life gives you a longing for something more...
 
you should feel blessed and alive.

If life gives you a great moment or two
 
freeze it in your memory

If life gives you a blank piece of paper...
 
...write your story and share it

If life gives you sour grapes...
 
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